Contents of the WALEBOOM.TXT file
I received this from a friend on the internet. I thought you might find it
an amusing anecdote of government at work.
Credit goes to John Stauffer
*** The Farside Comes To Life In Oregon
I am absolutely not making this incident up; in fact I have
it all on videotape. The tape is from a local TV news show
in Oregon, which sent a reporter out to cover the removal of
a 45-foot, eight-ton dead whale that washed up on the beach.
The responsibility for getting rid of the carcass was placed
on the Oregon State Highway Division, apparently on the
theory that highways and whales are very similar in the
sense of being large objects.
So anyway, the highway engineers hit upon the
plan--remember, I am not making this up--of blowing up the
whale with dynamite. The thinking is that the whale would
be blown into small pieces, which would be eaten by
seagulls, and that would be that. A textbook whale removal.
So they moved the spectators back up the beach, put a
half-ton of dynamite next to the whale and set it off. I am
probably not guilty of understatement when I say that what
follows, on the videotape, is the most wonderful event in
the history of the universe. First you see the whale
carcass disappear in a huge blast of smoke and flame. Then
you hear the happy spectators shouting "Yayy!" and "Whee!"
Then, suddenly, the crowd's tone changes. You hear a new
sound like "splud." You hear a woman's voice shouting "Here
come pieces of ...MY GOD!" Something smears the camera lens.
Later, the reporter explains: "The humor of the entire
situation suddenly gave way to a run for survival as huge
chunks of whale blubber fell everywhere." One piece caved
in the roof of a car parked more than a quarter of a mile
away. Remaining on the beach were several rotting whale
sectors the size of condominium units. There was no sign of
the seagulls who had no doubt permanently relocated to
Brazil. This is a very sobering videotape. Here at the
institute, we watch it often, especially at parties.
But this is no time for gaiety. This is a time to get hold
of the folks at the Oregon State Highway Division and ask
them, when they get done cleaning up the beaches, to give us
an estimate on the US Capitol.