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From cp1!aplcen!umcp-cs!seismo!rutgers!sri-spam!sri-unix!hplabs!hp-sdd!sdcsvax!
ucbvax!shadow.Berkeley.EDU!robinson Sun Nov 2 21:56:42 1986
Path: !cp1!aplcen!umcp-cs!seismo!rutgers!sri-spam!sri-unix!hplabs!hp-sdd!sdcsva
From: [email protected] (Michael Robinson)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: A new dimension.
Message-ID: <[email protected]>
Date: 3 Nov 86 02:56:42 GMT
Sender: [email protected]
Reply-To: [email protected] (Michael Robinson)
Organization: University of California, Berkeley
Lines: 73

Trans-dimensional space-time discontinuity. You are all familiar with this
phenomenon. Let's say you put your keys on top of the dresser, and then when
you look for them they are not there, and then when you give up hope of ever
finding them, you see them right on top of the dresser, where you left them,
and where you have already looked for them 70 times. Well, your keys fell
into a trans-dimensional space-time discontinuity, and until they fell back
out, there was no way you could have found them.

This phenomenon was discovered by several hacker friends and myself when we
were sharing a condo in San Diego. The fact that it occured far more
frequently in the presence of electronic equipment tipped us off that this was
a manifestation of a natural phenomenon, not just simple forgetfulness.

For example, in our condo, there were 11 operational computers (TRS-80 Model I,
TRS-80 Model III, 2 TRS-80 Model 4's, TRS-80 Model 100, TRS-80 Color Computer,
Kaypro 16, Kaypro 4, Kaypro 1, Kaypro 2000, and an Amiga 1000), a few more
that that were being parted out, three arcade machines (original Pong,
Asteroids, and Tempest), two component stereo systems, an oscilloscope,
4 multi-meters, assorted tv's, monitors, VCR's, miscellaneous consumer
electronics, and assorted ongoing electronics projects. We could never find
anything. Then we started making empirical observations. We slowly
accumulated data that pointed to one ineluctable conclusion--things were
disappearing and re-appearing in the same place. The reason we postulated
that this phenomena had not been discovered earlier was that in ordinary homes,

there was not a sufficient collection of electronics to make occurances of
trans-dimensional space-time discontinuities statistically significant.
Socks and keys were travelling the interdimensional void and no one had a clue.

So what does this have to do with anything? Just wait.

In the early 1900's, Einstein discovered that time, which previously had been
considered just a lowly phenomenon, was, in reality, a full fledged dimension.

For unknown reasons, I was today wondering what dimensions were actually
involved in the trans-dimensional part of the discontinuities. Then it hit
me--the dimension was random. It makes sense that if a phenomenon like
time can be a dimension, then random can be a dimension just as well. Events
are situated not only in x, y, z, and time, but in random as well. This
explains why results of an event will differ even when all observable
parameters are identical. This also explains why trans-dimensional space-
time discontinuities proliferate in proximity to digital electronics.
Digital electronics are relatively immune to the effects of randomness
(you can run a memory test through billions of cycles without a suprise--
try doing this with a load of laundry) so they exist far below the ambient
size of random. Large collections of digital electronics put a larger strain
on the fabric of space-time-random, and as a result, there are more

What are the implications of this? Imagine what the results would be if
someone discovered how to move objects in this new-found dimension. They
could put an end to all forms of gambling. Such devices could be installed
as safety equipment in cars and dangerous machinery. Stereo equipment with
infinite signal to noise would become a possibility. Disk drive that never
crashed. The possibilities are endless.

I propose that a massive research program be instituted to determine the
characteristics of this new dimension and the possibilities of exploiting it.
We cannot allow the Russians to move ahead of us in this field! We cannot
permit a randomness gap!

Disclaimer: UNIX is a trademark of Bell Laboratories
Some assembly required
The Surgeon General has determined that smoking is hazardous to
your health
Product is sold as is with no warranty, either expressed or
Your mileage may vary

Mike Robinson USENET: ucbvax!ernie!robinson
ARPA: [email protected]

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