Category : Various Text files
Archive   : SUN9308.ZIP
Filename : FIC4

Djiin! I Win!
Copyright (c) 1993, Joe DeRouen
All rights reserved




Only a few years ago, in a land not that unlike the one we live in
now, there dwelled a djiini. He wasn't a particularly powerful Djiini,
nor was he particularly clever. Admitting that he wasn't very handsome
either shouldn't come as much of a surprise. Nevertheless, for all the
Djiini's shortcomings, it is with him that our tale begins. . . .
and ultimately ends.

"So. You like to play games do you, Wesley?" Asked the prime Djiin,
as Wesley stood, shackled in chains, before a jury of his peers.
"Offering a thousand wishes where one would do, simply to cause the
bearer of your 'good tidings' mischief." Intoned the Master Djiin, legs
crossed, dressed in the finest Arabian costuming, floating above the
proceedings.
"I.." Began Wesley, already knowing it was of no use to
deny any of the charges. He was being brought up on fraud, libel, and
misrepresentation of goods. Not to mention that speeding ticket..
"And how do you plead?" Bellowed the judge, breaking Wesley's
thought pattern. (which, looking at it objectively, wasn't that hard of
a thing to do..)
"Er.. Well.. I didn't MEAN.."
"We all know exactly what you did and didn't MEAN to do, Wesley.
Your penchant for practical jokes has gone a bit too far this time. We
overlooked it when you changed that storekeeper into a dictator. We
managed to change the mess that you created when you gave the three
wishes to the 'touched' child. We even let that girl's wish of 'a dozen
of everything' squeak by. But granting that Quayle kid's wish for a
'really, really, really important job'.... that.. is... it!!"
Wesley seemed to shrink in on himself, as he studied the jeering
faces of his peers. They had never liked him anyway. So what if he
wasn't all that powerful? So what if he wasn't all that bright, either?
At least he was handsome, he told himself, though, upon later reflection
(namely, a nearby mirror) he had to admit that even that wasn't true.
Wesley sighed to himself, breathing deep. He was a failure. Period.
The only bright spot on his otherwise flawed career as a Djiini was his
creativity. And he had turned that into a  excuse  for practical jokes.
"Wesley.." Sighed the judge, getting impatient. "We haven't all
day. Plead, and let's get on with it."
Seeing his cue, Wesley fell to his knees, hands clutched in seeming
prayer before his chest, "Please, please, master. Spare me!"
"Wesley! Plead, as in your case!!" Looking sheepishly at the
judge, he rose to his feet, dusting himself off. Humor wouldn't work.
Not this time. If he had just played the wishes straight with that
Quayle fellow.. Sighing yet again, Wesley steeled himself for the worse.
It was now or never, he thought. He'd play this one straight. He'd admit
to his lack of ethics, apologize to the council, take his punishment,
and be on with it.
"Wesley?"
"I.... Well, to be perfectly honest your Royal Exalted Supreme
Highness Sir.. It really wasn't my fault. You see, it all started when..."
"GUILTY!"

* * *

And thus the verdict was announced, and the sentence laid upon the
quivering bulk of mass that called itself Wesley the Djiini. His
sentence was this; he would continue to receive assignments to various
bottles, lamps, and accordions around the universe. He would continue to
grant three wishes to a customer, and he would continue to have full
privileges and benefits (including membership to Sal's All-You-Can-Eat
Indian Beef Bar-B-Q) befitting his status in the Guild of the Djiin.
And where was the punishment in all of this, you may ask?
The punishment lay not in what Wesley could no longer do (for, as
stated above, none of his privileges were stripped) but in the penalty
of assigned duties. Yes, Wesley could (and would) continue to grant
three wishes to a customer. However, for the next 1,000 years, the
wishes that he could grant now had certain guidelines and rules. He had
to inform the wishers implicitly of the limits and guidelines thereof,
BEFORE granting the wishes. Those three wishes were structured just so:


FIRST WISH

* This wish can be used for anything, with the exception of wishing
for more wishes


SECOND WISH

* This wish must be made for someone else, not benefiting himself,
and must not harm the other person in any known way


THIRD WISH

* The third wish is rather limited. If the participant is happy
with his results, he may wish for Wesley to be rewarded for his
good deeds. (and indeed he will - with one day taken off his
sentence) If, however, the receiver of the wishes is dissatisfied
in any way, shape, or form, the recipient can wish that all of
what he wished for was instead bestowed upon Wesley


Through the wisdom and understanding of the ancient Master Djiin,
peace was restored to the universe at large. Wesley slowly learned to
curb his practical joking. All was right with the world again. At least
for awhile.
You see, even Master Djiin's make the occasional mistake. When one
wishes for the wisdom of Solomon, the strength of Samson, and the rugged
beauty of Mel Gibson (and, yes, that can be all one wish, worded
correctly) and wishes for his girlfriend to get that job promotion that
she'd been wanting (and, unlikely as it all may seem, his girlfriend is
secretly a Djiini running against the Master Djiin for office of His
Royal Majesty Highness Djiin)... Well, that can cause trouble.
Especially when, after breaking up with her, he wishes he had never
wished for any of it and decides to wish that all the wishes had
happened to poor Wesley instead...

Poor Wesley, indeed.