Category : Various Text files
Archive   : MONTY2.ZIP
Filename : TRIAL.FLY

**** A trial scene from Monty Python ****
**** Transcribed 8/15/87 by Jonathan Partington ( [email protected] ) ****


Bailiff (Cleese): I'm sorry I'm late, m'lud, I couldn't find a kosher car
park. Don't bother to recap, m'lud, I'll pick it up as we go
along. Call Mrs Fiona Lewis.

(Enter Chapman, in drag)

Fiona Lewis (Chapman): I swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing
but the truth, so anyway, I said to her, I said, they
can't afford that on what he earns, I mean for a start
the feathers get up your nose, I ask you, four and
sixpence a pound, and him with a wooden leg, I don't
know how she puts up with it after all the trouble
she's had with her you-know-what, anyway, it *was* a
white wedding, much to everyone's surprise, of course
they bought everything on the hire purchase, I think
they ought to send them back where they came from, I
mean you've got to be cruel to be kind, so Mrs Harris
said, so she said she said she said, a dead crab she
said she said? well her sister's gone to Rhodesia,
what with her womb and all, and her youngest, fit as a
filing cabinet, and the goldfish, the goldfish, they've
got whooping-cough, they keep spitting water at the
Bratbys, well they *do*, don't they, I mean, you
*can't*, can you, I mean they're not even married or
anything, they're not even *divorced*, and he's in the
KGB if you ask me, he says he's a tree surgoen, but I
don't like the sound of his liver, all that squeaking
and banging every night till the small hours, well, his
mother's been much better since she had her head off,
don't you talk to me about bladders, I said...

**** End of file TRIAL PYTHON ****
**** From: [email protected] ****