Category : Various Text files
Archive   : MONTY2.ZIP
Filename : DINOSAUR.SCI

 
Output of file : DINOSAUR.SCI contained in archive : MONTY2.ZIP
**** The Dinosaur Sketch ****
**** from "Monty Python's Flying Circus" and "Monty Python's Previous Record" *
**** Transcribed 5/14/87 by ****
**** Jonathan Partington ( JRP1%CAM.PHX%[email protected] ) ****


Television Host (Graham Chapman): Good evening. Tonight - dinosaurs. I have
here sitting in the studio next to me an elk.
Aaagghhhh! Oh, I'm sorry, Anne Elk, Mrs Anne
Elk.
Miss Elk (John Cleese, as a very prim lady): Miss.
Host: Miss Anne Elk, who is an expert on the...
Elk: No, no, no, Anne Elk.
Host: What?
Elk: Anne Elk, not Anne Expert.
Host: No, no, I was saying that you, Miss Elk, were an, A.N. not A.N.N.E.,
expert...
Elk: Oh!
Host: ...on elks - I'm sorry, on dinosaurs.
Elk: Yes, I certainly am, Chris, how very true, my word yes!
Host: Now, Miss Elk - Anne - you have a new theory about the brontosaurus.
Elk: Could I just say, Chris, for one moment that I have a new theory about
the brontosaurus?
Host: Er... exactly. What is it?
Elk: Where?
Host: No, no, no. What is your theory?
Elk: Oh, what is my theory?
Host: Yes.
Elk: Oh what is my theory, that it is. Yes, well you may well ask, what is my
theory.
Host: (slightly impatient) I am asking.
Elk: And well you may. Yes my word you may well ask what it is, this theory
of mine. Well, this theory that I have--that is to say, which is mine--
...is mine.
Host: (more impatient) I know it's yours. What is it?
Elk: Where? Oh, what is my theory?
Host: Yes!
Elk: Oh, my theory that I have follows the lines I am about to relate.
(Coughs) Ahem. Ahem. Ahem. Ahem. Ahem. Ahem.
Host: Oh God.
Elk: Ahem. Ahem. Ahem. Ahem. Ahem. Ahem. Ahem. Ahem. Ahem. Ahem.
Ahem. Ahem. [Impatient noises from Host] The Theory, by A. Elk. That's
A for Anne, it's not by a elk.
Host: Right....
Elk: This theory which belongs to me is as follows. Ahem. Ahem. This is how
it goes. Ahem. The next thing that I am about to say is my theory.
Ahem. Ready?
(Host moans)
Elk: The Theory by A. Elk brackets Miss brackets. My theory is along the
following lines.
Host: Oh God.
Elk: All brontosauruses are thin at one end, much MUCH thicker in the middle,
and then thin again at the far end. That is the theory that I have and
which is mine, and what it is too.
Host: That's it, is it?
Elk: Right, Chris.
Host: Well, Anne, this theory of yours seems to have hit the nail on the head.
Elk: And it's mine.
Host: (ironical) Thank you for coming along to the studio.
Elk: My pleasure, Chris.
Host: Er...Britain's newest wasp farm...
Elk: It's been a lot of fun.
Host: ...opened last week...
Elk: Saying what my theory is.
Host: Yes, thank you.
Elk: And whose it is.
Host: Yes. ...opened last week...
Elk: I have another theory.
Host: Not today, thank you.
Elk: My theory number two, which is the second theory that I have. Ahem!
This theory...
Host: Oh look...shut up!
Elk: ...is what I am about to say...
Host: Oh please shut up!
Elk: ...which, with what I have said, are the two theories that are mine and
belong to me.
Host: Look, if you don't shut up I shall shoot you.
Elk: Ahem! My brace of theories, which I possess the ownership of, which
belongs to me...

(BANG!)

(Pause)

Elk: Ahem. The Theory the Second by Anne...

(MACHINE GUN FIRE)


**** End of DINOSAUR PYTHON 5/14/87 ****

To: CLARINET@YALEVMX
From: JRP1%CAM.PHX%[email protected]
(JRP1%[email protected])
Authentic-sender: [email protected]


  3 Responses to “Category : Various Text files
Archive   : MONTY2.ZIP
Filename : DINOSAUR.SCI

  1. Very nice! Thank you for this wonderful archive. I wonder why I found it only now. Long live the BBS file archives!

  2. This is so awesome! 😀 I’d be cool if you could download an entire archive of this at once, though.

  3. But one thing that puzzles me is the “mtswslnkmcjklsdlsbdmMICROSOFT” string. There is an article about it here. It is definitely worth a read: http://www.os2museum.com/wp/mtswslnk/