Category : Various Text files
Archive   : LOSTMONT.ZIP
Filename : BARBER.SCI

 
Output of file : BARBER.SCI contained in archive : LOSTMONT.ZIP
**** The Barber Shop Sketch ****
**** From Monty Python's Flying Circus ****
**** And "And Now for Something Completely Different" ****
**** Transcribed by Dave Bregman ( [email protected] ) ****
**** and edited by Malcolm Dickinson ( [email protected] ) ****


The Barbershop Sketch

Customer: Hello, is this the Barbershop Sketch?
Barber: Y-y-yes sir. B-b-b-be with you in a minute.

(The barber is now washing and re-washing his hands, trying to remove the
obvious blood-stains from them and his coat.)

Barber: H-h-how would you like it sir?
Customer: Just short back and sides.
Barber: How do you do that?
Customer: Oh, you know, just short back and sides.
Barber: It's not a.. a razor cut, RAZOR CUT BLOOD ARTERY MURDER SPUrt..arr...
Customer: No, just ordinary short back and sides, you know...
Barber: It's just s-s-s-scissors then...
Customer: Yes.
Barber: You wouldn't rather forget all about it?
Customer: What?
Barber: You wouldn't prefer to have it just combed?
Customer: Oh, no.. I want something cut off!
Barber: Cut, CUT HEART HITCHCOCK MURDER BLOOD PSYCHO HOMICIDE SPURT ARTERY
TREMOR CORTEX Arrrgg...!

(The barber fakes a few quick snips.)

Barber: There, finished.
Customer: I beg your pardon?
Barber: I've finished cutting, cutting, CUTTING, CUTTING YOUR HAIR!
Customer: Well, you haven't even done any cutting yet.
Barber: All right, I confess I didn't cut your hair. I hate hair. I-I I
can't bear cutting it. I have this uncontrolable fear whenever I see
hair. My mother said I was a fool! She said the only way to
overcome my fear would be to become a barber. I didn't want to be a
barber.

I wanted to be... A *LUMBERJACK*!
(music up)

**** Continued in LUMBERJK PYTHON ****

**** end of file BARBER PYTHON 8/30/87 ****


  3 Responses to “Category : Various Text files
Archive   : LOSTMONT.ZIP
Filename : BARBER.SCI

  1. Very nice! Thank you for this wonderful archive. I wonder why I found it only now. Long live the BBS file archives!

  2. This is so awesome! 😀 I’d be cool if you could download an entire archive of this at once, though.

  3. But one thing that puzzles me is the “mtswslnkmcjklsdlsbdmMICROSOFT” string. There is an article about it here. It is definitely worth a read: http://www.os2museum.com/wp/mtswslnk/