Category : Various Text files
Archive   : HUMOR.ZIP
Filename : HEAVEN.JOK

>From: [email protected] (Matt L. Fichtenbaum)
Subject: Heaven joke, probably not offensive
Organization: GenRad, Inc., Concord, Mass.


It was board-meeting time in Heaven, and all the officials went
to the meeting. Since St. Peter wasn't able to be at his customary
place guarding the pearly gates, he looked around for someone to
substitute for him. Jesus was standing around and volunteered to
be temporary gatekeeper, and St. Peter went off to the meeting.

A few minutes later a little old man with a kind face appeared
at the gates and asked to be admitted. Jesus, of course, knew that
Heaven maintained very high standards, and so he tried to make sure
that the old man was properly worthy.

"Why should you be allowed into Heaven?" asked Jesus.

"I've always led a good life," said the man, "and I've
always been kind to everyone, especially children."

"Well, we can't let just anyone in. What other qualifications
have you?"

"In all my very good life, I've been honest and virtuous, and
I never once lay with a woman."

Jesus was not yet impressed, but he asked the man to continue.

"And even though I never lay with a woman, I had a son. A
fine son, a wonderful son, with holes in his arms and legs."

All of a sudden, Jesus was very interested indeed. He could scarcely
conceal his excitement.

"Father?" he said.

And the man replied

"Is that you, Pinocchio?"