Category : Various Text files
Archive   : GFILES.ZIP
Filename : STNEXT.TXT

Output of file : STNEXT.TXT contained in archive : GFILES.ZIP


Stolen from Paramount at great risk, here are a list of Next Season
Episodes for Star Trek: The Next Generation.

1) "Frenzy" -- Worf returns to the Klingon Home Planet, where he slaughters
the entire Klingon ruling council to avenge his father's honor and then
relieves himself on their dismembered corpses, thereby becoming the Head
of the Klingon Empire. He then discovers that K'Ehlar had a twin sister,
K'Ehlarger, and they proceed to do the Bone Dance.

2) "F.U.B.A.R. Imperfect" -- The Enterprise falls through a hole in space-
time, and discovers in an alternate universe that Wesley Crusher has
flunked out of Starfleet Academy due to bad grades and now runs an "escort
service" on the planet Sextus Ninus. When Captain Picard begins to lecture
him, the Alternate Universe Wesley says, "Bug off, you old bald fart."
However, Data discovers that if the matter/antimatter converters are
disconnected from the frammistat, the resulting googolplex will X-mode the
entire epicenter to the Nth power. No one can understand what this means,
but Data does it anyway, and the Enterprise is back in normal time
immediately. Beverly Crusher makes a phone call to Starfleet and finds
that the real Wesley is still as boring and nice as ever.

3) "Tea for Q" -- Q reappears, and reveals that the only reason that he has
ever harassed the Enterprise at all is because he is in love with Commander

4) "The Return of the Return of Lore" -- The Enterprise recieves a distress
call from a spacecraft. On rescuing them, they find that these strange
humanoids, who call themselves "Liberals," have been oppressed by none
other than Data's brother Lore, who, powered by a faulty chip and suffering
from indigestion, calls himself Lore L. Roberts, and professes to be able
to heal ailing machinery by the laying-on of hands. Lore has shut himself
up in a nuclear reactor, stating that God has told him that the residents
of planet Beta Zeta Kinkazoid should give him $10 million credits before
midnight, or God will strike him dead. Picard looses a barrage of phaser
fire on the nuclear reactor at 11:59.

5) "The Most Goys" -- Ishmael Weinberg, a trader from the planet Streisand,
kidnaps Data to add to his collection of non-Jewish artifacts from various
places around the galaxy. Weinberg deduces that since Data is an android
and has no religion whatsoever, he is the Goyest of the Goys. However,
Data resists by wearing a yarmulke and forcing himself to eat lox and
bagels. Weinberg recoils in disgust and sells Data back to the Enterprise
at half-price.

6) "Inquiry" -- Picard, Riker, and Troi are all called back to Starfleet
Command on an emergency investigation. Admiral Nitpyck, the only surviving
Admiral left after the Borg attack on earth, wants to know why the
Enterprise has lost two to three shuttlecraft per year during their
mission. Picard and Riker decide that the Admiral has been taken over by
the slimy worm braineaters from the second season, and shoot the Admiral
in the head with phasers on full. Unfortunately, they were wrong, but the
three decide to keep quiet about it after secretly commissioning 36 new
shuttlecraft to be delivered to the Enterprise.

7) "Revelations" -- Guinan reveals that she is actually Shirley McLaine,
and knew Captain Picard in a past life as an elephant trainer in Nairobi
in the late 20th century, when Picard was an elephant. Guinan also reveals
that the other elephants made fun of Picard because of his large ears, and
even took him away from his mother, but Picard, by flapping his ears
wildly, learned to fly, and squirted water on all the nasty clowns that
made fun of him because of his ears, and set his mother free. Picard then
became the star of the circus and lived happily ever after as the world's
only flying elephant. Dr. Crusher, after analyzing Guinan's
blood/synthahol level, discovers that some people can get drunk on
synthahol. Guinan then throws up.

  3 Responses to “Category : Various Text files
Archive   : GFILES.ZIP
Filename : STNEXT.TXT

  1. Very nice! Thank you for this wonderful archive. I wonder why I found it only now. Long live the BBS file archives!

  2. This is so awesome! 😀 I’d be cool if you could download an entire archive of this at once, though.

  3. But one thing that puzzles me is the “mtswslnkmcjklsdlsbdmMICROSOFT” string. There is an article about it here. It is definitely worth a read: