Dec 112017
A bunch of humorous text files.
File GFILES.ZIP from The Programmer’s Corner in
Category Various Text files
A bunch of humorous text files.
File Name File Size Zip Size Zip Type
10AMEND.TXT 2177 1006 deflated
12DAYS.TXT 2338 328 deflated
25BEER.TXT 1245 579 deflated
9600-INF.TXT 53465 16703 deflated
ASCII.TXT 1001 477 deflated
ASYSOPIS.TXT 4096 1573 deflated
BBSLOSER.TXT 32402 12686 deflated
BUMPER.TXT 3111 1339 deflated
COMMUSER.TXT 9887 4548 deflated
COMPUTER.TXT 852 401 deflated
COWSCOWS.TXT 48531 8631 deflated
CUCUMBER.TXT 6257 2273 deflated
D00D.TXT 9721 4685 deflated
DICTION.TXT 6553 2908 deflated
ENGLISH.TXT 16354 7441 deflated
GNOMES.TXT 10881 4460 deflated
GOODBBS.TXT 9406 4370 deflated
HAMFEST.TXT 1536 770 deflated
INGOLF.TXT 2989 1333 deflated
LEAVEP.TXT 1029 560 deflated
MEDICAL.TXT 1467 619 deflated
NAMES.TXT 2024 960 deflated
PEEWEE.TXT 2661 1267 deflated
SAME.TXT 6043 2656 deflated
SHITHAPP.TXT 1499 556 deflated
SMILES.TXT 3931 1694 deflated
STDRINK.TXT 1446 711 deflated
STNEXT.TXT 4072 2034 deflated
STRR.TXT 9727 4105 deflated
STXMAS.TXT 2844 1421 deflated
TAOWWIV.TXT 3507 1625 deflated
THOMAS.TXT 2429 1268 deflated
TVKIDS.TXT 2906 1393 deflated

Download File GFILES.ZIP Here

Contents of the 10AMEND.TXT file


The first ten ammendments to the Constitution are known as "The Bill of Rights"
because that is what everybody calls them. These ammendments spell out the
basic rights that all of us enjoy as Americans.

The FIRST Ammendment states that members of religious groups, no matter how
small or unpopular, shall have the right to hassle you in airports.

The SECOND Ammendment states that, since a well-regulated militia is necessary
to the security of a free state, you can buy high-powered guns via mail order
and go out into the woods with your friends and absolutely vaporize some deer.

The THIRD Ammendment states that you don't have to quarter troops inside your
house. "You troops are just going to have to sleep on the patio" is a
perfectly constitutional thing for you to tell them.

The FOURTH Ammendment states that if your aunt had testicles, she would be your

The FIFTH Ammendment states that your Fifth Ammendment rights cannot be
violated until you are advised of them.

The SIXTH Ammendment states that if you are accused of a crime, you have the
right to a trial before a jury of people too stupid to get out of jury duty.

The SEVENTH Ammendment states that if you are in the express lane, and you have
more than one item of produce of the same biological type, you have the right
to count these as one item in order to keep yourself under th 10-item limit.

The EIGHT Ammendment states that if you are seated directly in front of a
person who has to comment on every single scene in the movie- and we are
talking here about really perceptive comments, such as when a character is
getting into his car and the person behind you says "He's getting into his car
now"- then you have the right to go "SHHHH!" two times in a warning manner,
after which you have the right to kill this person with a stick.

The NINTH Ammendment states that you shall not covet your neighbor's wife.

The TENTH Ammendment states that, OK, if your neighbors wife is dropping a lot
of hints, really coming ON to you, that is a different matter.

- from "Dave Barry Slept Here" (parody of American History)

 December 11, 2017  Add comments

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