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ETS: A Shareware Success Story

By: Val Patterson

Believe me, being happy working forever in the big corporate
world is an American illusion. If I could help just one person
persuade himself to leave his corporate life for working at
home, my time for writing this small article would be well
spent.

I quit my most recent corporate job around October 1991. It was
the first time that I didn't even give two weeks notice. I was
really pissed off about something big, but that's not what I
want to talk about.

I am now a successful Shareware Author 9 months later.

I want to tell you how this happened...

I have always maintained two state of the art laboratories at
home, because that's what I like to do. I'm not saying you have
to have two labs, but you need an excellent, orderly, clean work
area to do excellent work... that's all. This will make more
sense to you in a minute (if you're a fast reader)... Oh, by the
way, when I type three dots like this... it means you're
supposed to pause and think about what I just said. (but you
don't have to...)

Anyway, I was writing this really nasty bit of code to turn my
old company's TEXT software product into a GUI product, just to
send it to them and piss them off, because one of our customers
told me that our commercial product looked like Shareware. (all
TEXT) It was really hard to write that code, and during the
couple of months, the code 'kinda evolved into a GUI Library.
This was about 3 weeks before Christmas, and my wife Mary Jane
asked me if I could write her a program to address her Christmas
cards which would look as good as the ones we always do on
Ventura Publisher. I said yeah, piece of cake, so my first
program came out. Laser Printer Envelope version 1.00 around
December 20th or so. She liked it, I liked it, and we had been
downloading games and stuff from BBS'es for about a few months..
So we decided to upload it to a BBS and charge money for it,
(like Shareware) to see what happened...

I'll tell you what happened. We put our FAX number on the
program so people could contact us quickly. People contacted us
quickly. We got so many complaints that it got to be fun! I'll
bet there wasn't a thing anybody liked about LPE 1.00 except
they liked the GUI. Quickly, Jan 1st, version 1.01 was
released, then 1.02 a few weeks later, then 1.03, 1.04. (you get
the picture). People wanted every feature known to god and
science. Some suggestions were very very good, some we read 25
times and couldn't understand. Then the money started coming in.
This was the beginning of the fun part. We always frame the
first check for any new product, and on the wall I can see that
the first check for LPE was Jan 1st 1992. I quickly wrote 3 new
games, called the PIRADA series, to have more fun and start a
few more products to sell. The 3 PIRADA games were uploaded to
AOL about Jan 15. First check for PIRADA was Jan 28th. The
PIRADA games are cute, and took a ton of work, but they just
haven't received a lot of registrations.


Then a real nice guy named Mark Selman called me and asked me to
a 4-UP style program for a Court Reporter client of his. I had
been using another popular program for a while ( I won't tell
you the exact name, but it has a "4" in the name, with some
other letters... ), and I always wanted to make one in my style.
So I did and I liked it. So did a lot of other people. Except
this one guy in California. Apparently his program started with
the first two letters of my program, and I got a letter from his
company telling me to change my name so I did. ASCII-PRINT PRO
was born. First version was kind of a "meal-call" for all of the
voracious BBS'ers out there to tear apart and give feedback. The
feedback never stopped. We get several suggestions a day. By
version 1.04, the program was getting there, and soon-to-be
released 1.05 will be killer. Anyway, the checks started coming
in from the first, and have not stopped.

I know you are curious as hell about the exact amount of the
checks and how many orders received, etc. In a minute. I'm
coming to that. I'll tell you exactly, because I know exactly.
Anyway, COURT REPORTER PRO was our next release, and by version
1.08 I was proud of it. In my opinion, (biased) for the money,
it blows the other competition out of the water. (Don't be
misled, I happen to be one of the most humble guys you will
ever meet...) One thing in this business I have learned is that
if you think you are writing crap, you ARE writing crap.

Mary Jane quit her job to work full time for ETS (our company)
about June 1992 or so. Hours are 7am to 4pm 7days per week. The
programming never stops. We are constantly upgrading, taking bug
reports, fixing, it's endless. What a fun job, though. My
commute is now about 20 feet. I have only used one tank of gas
in my Blazer since Christmas. ( ONE TANK ). Boy what a
differance. I don't come home from work with a big chip on my
shoulder, like I did with corporations. I don't wake up at 2:00
in the morning and dream about work problems any more. You know
what it's like, that's why I am telling you all this.

We live in a quiet condo complex in the burbs of Salt Lake City.
Sort of like an urban forest, but not like back East. Our two
cats have become no help at all, so we have to do everything
ourselves. They told me not to spoil cats, but hey.

Here's the fun part: If you are considering starting your own
shareware business, and you think you have what it takes: here
are the facts (in my opinion). Being a Shareware Author is ALL
GLORY, MEDIUM PAY, and ALL WORK. You won't make as much
money as you did at your corporation for quite a while, but you
will have tons more fun! Having fun is a lot more fun than not
having fun. (I guess I'll leave that last sentence in... )

ETS, inc. registration history since starting company Jan 1 1992
==============================================================
MONTH GROSS NUMBER OF
ENDING SALES REGISTRATIONS LANDMARK
======== ======= =============== ==============

JAN 1992 $ 220 22 LPE RELEASED
FEB 1992 $ 620 62 PIRADA RELEASED
MAR 1992 $ 590 59 APP RELEASED
APR 1992 $ 970 97
MAY 1992 $1,155 115 CRP RELEASED
JUN 1992 $1,245 85 UPGRADES RELEASED

REGISTRATION COSTS:
PIRADA $ now "BANNERWARE"
LPE $ 9.95
APP $ 14.95
CRP $ 49.95

Not a lot of money, but very rewarding work. The best thing in
this business is the nice comments and letters which you get
from the customers. It's great. Now that the really nasty
letters have stopped, "the sailing is smoother".

Now that you see that you can make a little money in Shareware,
let me give you some advice. I really believe in what I am going
to tell you, so listen up! I am not afraid to be wrong, so if
you disagree with my advice, please write (or FAX) me a real
nasty letter.

Val Patterson's Rules for Writing and Marketing Shareware.
1 - Listen to your customers. Absolutely. No Exceptions.
2 - Do what your customers ask.
( unless it's big-time wierd )
3 - Keep your registration price as LOW as POSSIBLE. Many
customers write to me about how happy they are about
the low prices!
4 - Never write in TEXT mode. Graphics and Mouse always.
5 - Never use any function keys other than F1 = HELP.
6 - Never use CNTRL or ALT keys in your programs unless your
company has reached the $1,000,000 per year gross mark. At
that time you can CNTRL-ALT-SHIFT your customers into oblivion,
because they are now your slaves.
7 - Use the longest descriptions you can in your menus.
8 - Never release a program which contains a bug you know about.
9 - Never support Hardware older than about 3-4 years old.
( NO CGA, HERCULES, Dot Matrix Printers etc. for NEW programs.)
( If your program originally supported these, you MUST continue
to support these forever. You are already doomed. sorry. )
0 - IF your program comes with several files...
START ALL THE FILES WITH THE SAME FIRST 3 CHARACTERS.
NO EXCEPTIONS TO THIS RULE.
1 - Only 1 .DOC file should come with your program, and make it
short and to the point. ( I hope the guy who ships 442k of
.DOC files with his program eventually reads this. )
2 - Never name a file: README.DOC, because it will UN-ZIP over the
1,500 README.DOC ancestors in your directory. This should be
obvious, but let's get a little creative, people!
3 - Never make a command line interface program which uses more
than 2 parameter options. Your customers will be highly miffed
after having to read the 442k of .DOC files to find that ONE
switch.
4 - Always upload your shareware to EXEC-PC, Channel 1, and Compu-
Serve. The Compuserve users are more fussy, but register more.
The EXEC-PC users are all rich SYSOPS who will glean your
program and transport it magically all over the globe. EXEC-PC
works! Channel 1 is just a great BBS. If you want to have some
good fun, upload your shareware to the SDN Network (Ray Kaliss).
He will send your shareware around the globe 15 times for $35.00.
It's hilarious to get the bug reports from England and Germany.
They're so serious! Just kidding, SDN really gets you worldwide
fast. If you are feeling generous, upload to AOL. You will get a
lot of downloads. Don't hold your breath for the registrations.
5 - Get a customer support FAX and BBS. This will bring you more
money in the long run for sure. I know you are afraid, I was
too. The customers will think you are a successful company. You
ARE a successful company when you have a FAX and a BBS. Get a
high-speed modem for your BBS, everybody knows v.32's now cost
$279. Don't ever look cheap to your customers.
6 - Never charge for shipping and handling in your shareware price.
People are not stupid. You are to charge $54.95 + $4.95 shipping.
7 - Never charge extra for 3 1/2 inch diskettes. You will look
stupid. Everybody knows 3 1/2 bulk cost 40 cents, and 5 inch
cost 25.
8 - Ship all orders the same day. No exceptions.
(never wait for checks to clear, mad customers buy only once).
My mail order experience: (not just shareware) over 2,000
checks without a bounce. Don't make all of your customers
suffer for that one guy in 4,000.
9 - Try to release many different kinds of programs. Don't be a
"One-tune-Joe" forever. Half of our business is from repeat
customers.
0 - Don't join the ASP. There. I said it. I am waiting for the
nasty letters right now, dear reader. If you need to belong to
a "good-ole-boy" club there's always the KKK. Don't worry about
me, I am already going to hell anyway.


Well, there it is. I have spent an hour just rambling, and I am
NOT a writer. Like I said at the onset: if I could help just ONE
person consider being a Shareware Author, this hour was well
spent. If you feel a strong pull towards doing this kind of work
right now, stop everything you are doing, put this down, and
make yourself a promise to do it beginning today! If you feel
lukewarm or nothing, keep your job, don't even think of leaving!

That's all, except since Diana Gruber asked me to do this
article, and she told me that I could say anything I wanted...
one more pointer: If you have cats, don't throw away one of
those crummy little 20 page magazines... (like the C++ monthly
journal) because they make EXCELLENT cat scatters!

CIAO!

Val Patterson
ETS Inc.
1115 East Brigadoon Court
Salt Lake City, UT 84117-4969
Voice: (801)265-2340 8am - 3pm MST only
Fax: (801)265-8921
BBS: (801)265-0919 14400 v.32bis FORVAL

Editor's note: Like all the other controversial, opinionated
articles in STARgazer, Val Patterson's opinions are his own, and
do not represent STAR. Opposing viewpoints are welcomed -- write
to STARgazer.