Dec 132017
 
A parody on the ultimite disclaimer.
File DISCLAIM.ZIP from The Programmer’s Corner in
Category Various Text files
A parody on the ultimite disclaimer.
File Name File Size Zip Size Zip Type
DISCLAIM.TXT 4096 1745 deflated

Download File DISCLAIM.ZIP Here

Contents of the DISCLAIM.TXT file


STANDARD DISCLAIMER

This product is meant for educational purposes only. Any resemblance
to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental. Void where
prohibited. Some assembly required. List each check separately by
bank number. Batteries not included. Contents may settle during
shipment. Use only as directed. No other warranty expressed or
implied. Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy
equipment. Postage will be paid by addressee. Subject to CAB
approval. This is not an offer to sell securities. Apply only to
affected area. May be too intense for some viewers. Do not stamp.
Use other side for additional listings. For recreational use only.
Do not disturb. All models over 18 years of age. If condition
persists, consult your physician. No user-serviceable parts inside.
Freshest if eaten before date on carton. Subject to change without
notice. Times approximate. Simulated picture. No postage necessary
if mailed in the United States. Breaking seal constitutes acceptance
of agreement. For off-road use only. As seen on TV. One size fits
all. Many suitcases look alike. Contains a substaintial amount of
non-tobacco ingredients. Colors may, in time, fade. We have sent
the forms which seem to be right for you. Slippery when wet. For
office use only. Not affiliated with the American Red Cross. Drop
in any mailbox. Edited for television. Keep cool; process promptly.
Post office will not deliver without postage. List was current at
time of printing. Return to sender, no forwarding order on file,
unable to forward. Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental
or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error or failure
to perform. At participating locations only. Not the Beatles.
Penalty for private use. See label for sequence. Substantial
penalty for early withdrawal. Do not write below this line. Falling
rock. Lost ticket pays maximum rate. Your cancelled check is your
recipt. Add toner. Place stamp here. Avoid contact with skin.
Sanitized for your protection. Be sure each item is properly
endorsed. Sign here without admitting guilt. Slightly higher west
of the Mississippi. Employees and their families are not eligible.
Beware of dog. Contestants have been briefed on some questions
before the show. Limited time offer, call now to insure prompt
delivery. You must be present to win. No passes accepted for this
engagement. No purchase necessary. Processed at location stamped in
code at top of carton. Shading within a garment may occur. Use only
in well-ventilated area. Keep away from fire or flame. Replace with
same type. Approved for veterans. Booths for two or more. Check
here if tax deductible. Some equipment shown is optional. Price
does not include taxes. No Canadian coins. Not recommended for
children. Prerecorded for this time zone. Reproduction strictly
prohibited. No solicitors. No alcohol, dogs, or horses. No
anchovies unless otherwise specified. Restaurant package, not for
resale. List at least two alternate dates. First pull up, then pull
down. Call toll free before digging. Driver does not carry cash.
Some of the trademarks mentioned in this product appear for
identification purposes only. Record additional transactions on back
of previous stub.

This supersedes all previous notices.




 December 13, 2017  Add comments

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