Dec 312017
 
Parody STAR TREK: DEEP SPACE NINE story.
File DEEPFLAK.ZIP from The Programmer’s Corner in
Category Various Text files
Parody STAR TREK: DEEP SPACE NINE story.
File Name File Size Zip Size Zip Type
DEEPFLAK.TXT 28534 11070 deflated

Download File DEEPFLAK.ZIP Here

Contents of the DEEPFLAK.TXT file


Third time up at bat...let's make it good, huh? (Yes, sir!!)
***************************************************************************

STAR TREK: DEEP FLAKE NINE

"Wants and Desires"

***************************************************************************

(Fade in to a stock shot of the station in empty space, rotating in every
direction--it looks like a gyroscope on dope. A single needle-shaped ship
approaches from the upper left corner, thinks better of it, turns around
and warps out posthaste.)

Kira (voiceover): Station log, stardate 47243.885; Major Kira Nerys in
command. Commander Sisko departed two days ago for a conference on
Misa...and shortly after he left, word was sent that two races from
the Gamma Quadrant, the Kaneda and the Kamir Imperium, have formally
requested to hold peace negotiation talks on the station. Why the
HELL do they always do this sort of thing, right when the second-in-
command is running things?

(Cut to Ops. Kira and Dax are here.)

Kira (sipping from a mug): One more time. What do we know about the Ka-
neda?

Dax: According to a science vessel that had traveled to the Kaneda home-
world, they are a very arrogant race, with evidence of psychic powers
similar to those of Betazoids. They also supposedly have extremely
powerful weapons technology, but no one has ever seen their arsenals.

Kira: And the Kamir?

Dax: Put simply, they are idiots--complete and utter idiots. No one knows
quite how they acquired spaceflight technology, not even them. Their
only claims to power are a singular type of high-efficiency warp drive
and something called the Arc Venesia, which no one has ever seen--but
everybody wants it.

Kira: Which is why the Kaneda want to talk peace with them.

Dax: That's probably the idea. The Kamir are due to arrive in four hours,
with the Kaneda one hour behind them.

(Kira is staring at her mug, an expression of disgust on her face. Sudden-
ly she turns and hurls the mug at a computer terminal; on impact it breaks,
falling in shiny blue pieces to the floor.)

Kira (outraged): Odo, damn you, get up! I told you NOT to do that!!

(Cut to the remains of the mug. They are not moving at all. As we pan up
to Kira, we see the computer terminal melting to the floor. Odo finishes
morphing into his usual blurred self.)

Odo (innocently, for him): I didn't do anything, Major.

(Kira falls back into a chair, her face in her hands. Dax is snickering.)

(Cut to a darkened room, with a lighted area in the center. O'Brien and
Bashir are here with phasers, shooting at brightly colored targets floating
around them.)

O'Brien: So far, Doctor, this program of yours hasn't been much of a chal-
lenge. (nails target dead on)

Bashir: It will get harder shortly. I thought I'd let you come along so
that I could show you the results of this motivational holotape I got
from a trader a few weeks ago. It's a Klingon holo--"The Mind and the
Fist," by a Lieutenant Worf. (fires at target and misses)

O'Brien (surprised): Worf? He did a positive thinking tape?

Bashir (missing another target): Yes. And it works magnificently.

O'Brien (downing two more targets): Better than your target simulation, I
hope...

Bashir (chuckling): A bit...Computer?

Computer Voice (sounds strangely like Kathleen Turner): Yes, Julian?

Bashir (winks at O'Brien): Program Sizzler-white.

(In front of Bashir, a figure materializes. It is Madonna, in the outfit
she wore in the video for "Like A Virgin;" she beckons to Bashir, licking
her lips.)

(O'Brien does the Spock eyebrow lift at Bashir.)

O'Brien: Studying ancient culture again, Doctor?

Bashir (red as Kira's hair): No, not THAT one! Uh...Sizzler-red!!

Computer Voice: Offensive capability of targets?

Bashir: Full power stun.

O'Brien (suspiciously eyeing Bashir): You mean...the TARGETS will shoot at US??

Bashir (whipping a second phaser out of his tunic): Yes, that's right.

(The targets suddenly swoop down on Bashir and O'Brien, firing little blue
stun bolts. O'Brien dives for the cover of a stack of boxes that had just
materialized next to him; Bashir snap-rolls away from the shots.)

(Cut to a closeup of Bashir's face. His eyes are intense, like a warp core
about to go up.)

Bashir (chanting to himself): "The mind and the fist are one...the fist is
the guide for the mind...the fist is my god..."

O'Brien (dodging stun bolts like crazy): Bashir, you crazy bastard! What
is this supposed to do for us?!

(Suddenly Bashir stands up, phasers ready. As the targets come at him, he
methodically starts blowing them away--zap, zap, zap. Suddenly, all the
targets are gone, except for one which dodges all the shots. Swooping be-
hind the stacked boxes, it almost nails O'Brien in the head.)

(Cut to O'Brien rolling away from the energy bolt, coming up in a crouch,
and blasting the target into holographic nothingness. He stands up, and
looks at Bashir with murder in his eyes.)

Bashir (proudly): So, what do you think, Chief?

(O'Brien stuns Bashir. He falls in a heap to the floor.)

O'Brien (wiping sweat off his forehead): Computer, end program. And ERASE
program Sizzler-red.

(As O'Brien drags Bashir out of the holosuite, the computer answers, "Pro-
gram erased." Fade out.)

(Fade in on a view of a styrofoam rock bouncing off a wall painted to look
like space. The opening credits appear.)

Kira: At last, I get to run the show!!

Dax: Who are you kidding? This is a sci-fi show, Kira--none of us really
run it.

Kira: Yeah, I guess you're right. But it doesn't hurt to be optimistic!

(Fade out. Place GripMaster commercial here...)

(Fade in to Ops. Kira, Dax, and O'Brien are here.)

O'Brien (eyes on a computer screen): Major, something is coming through
the wormhole.

Kira: Identify it.

O'Brien: It's a Borg ship, sir.

Kira (suddenly white): A Borg ship?! Prepare to--

O'Brien (laughing): A joke, Major. Lighten up.

(We don't even see Kira's hand move. We just see a small piece of equip-
ment bounce off O'Brien's face.)

O'Brien (sobering up fast): Incoming ship identified as the Kamir vessel
Ymotobol. Incoming hail.

Kira: You know what to do, right?

(The main viewscreen cuts on, displaying an orange-skinned, hairless huma-
noid with no visible nose.)

Alien: Station Deep Flake Nine, this is Commander...um...Gouda, of the Ka-
mir Imperium. Request permission to...er...the thing with the ship?

Kira: Dock?

(Gouda suddenly drops out of sight.)

Gouda: Don't shoot me!

(Kira looks at Dax, mouthing "What the hell?")

Dax (shrugging): Told you so.

Kira (resignedly): Commander Gouda, your ship is cleared to dock with the
station. And you can stand up now.

Gouda (rising): Thank you very much. Gouda out. (viewscreen goes blank)

Kira: Are the Kaneda that...interesting?

Dax: I don't know.

O'Brien: Here's your chance to find out. Another ship has come out--and
it is a Kaneda warship.

Kira: Hail?

O'Brien: Incoming. Screen?

Kira (tugging at bottom of jacket): Make it so.

(O'Brien glances at Kira for a second. Cut to the viewscreen, which is now
showing a rather beautiful humanoid with clear greenish-blue eyes.)

Alien: I am Field Commander Tai, of the Kaneda battlecruiser Darling Ruin.
And you are...?

Kira: Major Kira Nerys, acting commander of DF9. We welcome you to--

Tai: Yes, yes, I've heard all that before. May we dock?

Kira (smiling): Of course, Commander. You may dock at your convenience.

Tai: Thank you, Major. Darling Ruin out. (viewscreen goes blank)

Dax: A bit blunt, aren't they?

Kira: I can live with blunt, Dax. Chief, how long until we have to greet
the emissaries?

O'Brien: The Ymotobol is thirty minutes to dock...Darling Ruin--where the
hell did they get that one?--forty-two minutes to dock.

Kira (short chuckle): How long before the good doctor recovers?

O'Brien (holding in the laughter): He should be up and around in about ten
minutes.

Kira: We don't want him to miss the festivities, do we? Oh, and Chief...
thank you!

O'Brien (shrugging): Little cocky bugger had it coming...

(Cut to exterior shot of a docking bay. A ship shaped like a sardine can
is docked here. Pan down to one of the exterior docking arms; a large ves-
sel resembling a head-on collision between a Star Destroyer and the Yamato
from "Star Blazers" is moving to dock with it.)

Kira (voiceover): Station log, stardate 47244.143. The Kaneda and Kamir
ships have docked, and we are about to formally make a round of intro-
ductions. And if the next few days follow suit, this conference will
be nothing to worry about.

Dax (voiceover): And if you believe THAT...I have some land in the Neutral
Zone I'd like to talk to you about...

(Cut to a conference room, high-ceilinged and darkly furnished...the decor
is quite Cardassian--black, black and off-black, with lots of leather. A
massive viewport running the length of the room shows the atypical moving
starfield. Kira, Dax, O'Brien, and a conscious Bashir are sitting at one
end of a conference table; as the far door opens, they all rise.)

(Cut to the doorway. Commander Gouda, flanked by two big orange guards,
enters in a bright red uniform with no sleeves. The group moves to the far
end of the table.)

Gouda: And we meet again, uh...er...I didn't get your name.

Kira: Major Kira Nerys. And this is Chief Operations Officer Miles O'Bri-
en, Lieutenant Jadzia Dax, and Doctor Julian Bashir.

Gouda: These are my guards, Urusei and Yatsura. May we sit?

Kira: Please do, Commander.

(As Gouda and company sit down, the door opens and four very imposing, very
intimidating humanoids in silver Battlestar Galactica outfits enter. They
plant themselves at all four corners of the room, as Commander Tai enters--
in a shimmering black affair that clings to her like Ferengi to money. We
hear Bashir's jaw hit the table with a solid thud.)

Bashir (under his breath, eyes wide): My God, WHAT WOULD YOU HAVE ME
DO?

Tai: Greetings, Major. Please don't mind my bodyguards--they are perhaps
a bit overzealous. (unconsciously brushes long red hair back)

Kira: Oh, we're used to it. This is my staff--Chief Miles O'Brien, Lieu-
tenant Jadzia Dax, and--

Bashir (standing up so fast his chair flies across the room, knocking down
a Kaneda guard): Doctor Julian Bashir, at your service.

(Cut to a shot of Toi and Bashir looking at each other. We hear violins in
the background, as hearts start circling their heads.)

Tai (shyly): Field Commander Rasaille Toi. It is a pleasure to meet you,
Doctor Julian Bashir. (bows to Bashir)

Bashir (sounding suspiciously like Wesley Crusher): Uh, thank you. And it
is a really great...pleasure...to meet you, Commander.

Kira (breathing deeply): I think I am going to throw up now.

(Suddenly a soft crunch is heard. O'Brien's head snaps around, looking for
the source; he notices that Dax has just sunk her fingers into the table.
He starts to ask her something, but thinks better of it.)

Dax (clearing throat loudly): May we PLEASE get on with the conference, if
you don't mind?!

(Bashir sits down--on the floor--and Tai sits next to him.)

Kira: Thank you. Now, the Kaneda want to do exactly what?

Tai (staring at Bashir's neck): What is that?

(Cut to a closeup of Bashir's neck: around it, on a thin silver chain, is
a glittering blue hemisphere. He holds it up, looking at it.)

Bashir: This? This is a family heirloom, passed down from my ancestors.

(The guards all move to encircle Bashir and Tai.)

Tai (awestruck): It's beautiful...

Gouda (noticing object): Where did you get that?

Bashir: From my great-great-multi-multi-grain-great-grandmother.

Gouda (eyes bulging out of head): That is the Arc Venesia! The long-lost
source of the Kamiri power!!

Bashir: I beg your pardon?

(Gouda reaches out and touches the jewel. Abruptly, it flares white, and
the lights go out.)

Kira: What the hell was that?

Tai: Julian Bashir, would you be my husband?

Dax (astonished): WHAT DID YOU SAY?!?

(Another, louder, crunch is heard.)

(The lights come back on. Gouda and Toi are still staring at Bashir. A
chunk of the table is now in Dax's lap.)

Tai: I said that I wanted Julian as my own. To become my husband.

Gouda (stunned): It IS the Arc Venesia. It can only be worn by the true
guardian of the Kamiri.

Tai: Will you come back to Rache, Julian?

Gouda (shrieking): NO! He is the guardian of all Kamiri--he must return
to the Imperium!

Tai (glaring at Gouda): Like hell he does!

Gouda (snarling): He must defend the Kamiri from all enemies!!

O'Brien (aside to Kira): Major, do you have any idea what in the hell is--

Kira: Stupid question, Chief, really stupid question.

(Fade out. Place Golden Grahams commercial here...)

(Fade in to the same shot of the Kamir and Kaneda ships docked with the
station.)

Kira (voiceover): Station log, stardate 47245.112. The Kamir emissary has
has just declared Doctor Bashir as the guardian of his entire race, as
the wearer of the Arc Venesia...good riddance. Also, the ambassador
from the Kaneda has apparently developed a serious thing for the good
doctor--and I'm going to help him pack, either way!

(Cut to Doctor Bashir's office. Bashir is sitting at his desk, eyes closed
and head back, as Kira enters.)

Kira (positively bubbling): Okay, Doctor, you've got to make a choice. To
either go with Commander Toi, or become guardian of the Kamir Imperium
and--hahahahaaa! Come on, hurry up, let's go!

Bashir (opening eyes): Oh...(nods slowly) You're right, Major. I do have
a decision to make. I can be perhaps one of the most powerful people
in an alien empire...or I can be with the most beautiful woman I have
ever seen.

Kira: Including Lieutenant Dax?

Bashir (thoughtful): Jadzia...my God, I have to tell her.

Kira: Tell her what?

Bashir: That I'm going with Commander Toi.

Kira: I'll help you pack, Doctor. Can't keep her waiting, now can you?

Bashir: No...I guess not. (gazes at computer terminal on his desk)

(Cut to a shot of the terminal screen. It is displaying a photo of Jadzia
Dax.)

(Cut to the bar at Quark's. Dax is sitting there, holding a glass.)

Quark (sidling over to Dax): What's the problem, Lieutenant?

Dax (downing the glass in one gulp): Julian is leaving.

Quark (perking up): Doctor Bashir is leaving? Oh, ye--ahem, uh, why is he
leaving the station?

Dax: He's been chosen as the new guardian of an alien race from the Gamma
Quadrant. Also, he has apparently caught the eye of the Kaneda ambas-
sador too...

Quark: You mean her? (points toward a corner of the place, where Tai and
Bashir are cuddling)

(The noise of breaking glass is heard. Dax stands up and stalks over to
the couple.)

Dax (coldly): Am I interrupting anything, Julian?

Bashir (apologetically): Um, Jadzia, I have something to tell you--

(Suddenly Commander Gouda rushes in the door. Spotting Bashir, he dashes
over to him.)

Gouda: Honored Guardian, are you ready to depart for home?

Tai: Yes, WE will be leaving for the Kaneda homeworld shortly. (runs hand
across Bashir's face)

(Dax slaps her hand away.)

Dax: You keep your hands off him!

Bashir: Look, Jadzia--

Tai: Why do you care whether or not Julian stays here? Are you his mate?

Gouda: A proper mate shall be selected once we return to our home planet!

Dax: Well, no, I'm not--

Bashir: Jadzi--

Tai: Then it has no bearing on your well-being.

Dax: Yes, it does!! (Yanks Tai to her feet) More bearing than YOU will
ever have, Commander...

Gouda: There will be no argument...he shall come with the Kamiri.

Bashir (shouting): Shut up everbody!!

(Everybody quiets down. Odo walks in.)

Odo (to Quark): What is going on here?

Quark: Seems that Lieutenant Dax and the Kaneda woman are arguing over our
doctor.

Odo: They might as well be arguing over you...

Quark (smiling): Now there's a nice idea...

Bashir: Listen to me...I'm a doctor, not a--

(Suddenly three security guards are aiming phasers at Bashir's face.)

Guard: Sorry, sir, but unauthorized use of the McCoy Oath is a serious
crime...

Bashir (catching himself): You're right--I am sorry. Anyway, I have de-
cided to go with Commander Tai.

Dax (outraged): No! You can't!

Gouda: Are you certain of your decision?

Bashir (gazing at Tai): Yes, very certain...

Gouda (resignedly): Then, I have no choice...Urusei! Yatsura!

(Suddenly the two Kamir guards burst through the doorway, running to and
grabbing Bashir.)

Odo: Now, you can't do that... (advances on Urusei, who swats him away
like a fly)

Odo (from floor): Security to the promenade! Hostage situation in the ca-
sino!

Gouda: You WILL come home with us, Guardian. You MUST...for the sake of--
oh, screw this! We're not really Kamiri!

Dax (slapping communicator): Dax to Major Kira! We ha--

(Suddenly a weapon is in Gouda's hand, and he shoots Dax with it; she drops
like a stone.)

Odo: You're not the Kamiri? Then who are you?

Gouda: Just some power-hungry villains who intend to take over the Gamma
Quadrant.

Tai: Then where are the real Kamir emissaries?

Gouda: Locked up on their own ship...ha ha ha...my God, they ARE stupid!

Odo: So all you want...

Gouda (triumphantly): ...is the most powerful energy source in the galaxy.

Tai: I have complete faith in you, Julian...this will work out...

Bashir (wedged under Yatsura's arm): Most definitely!

(Cut to the bar. Closeup on the ugly alien who's always eating stew.)

Alien: Those obnoxious aliens...

(Fade out. Place disco album commercial here...)

(Fade in to Ops. Kira is here, pacing the floor.)

Kira (speaking to the ceiling): Ops to Odo. What the hell is going on?

Odo's Voice: We have a hostage situation in the casino, Major. The Kamir
delegation has taken Doctor Bashir hostage, along with the persons in
the casino--this also includes myself, I'm afraid...and the persons
calling themselves Kamiri aren't, by their own admission.

Kira: Oh, that's just great! Any demands?

Odo: I don't know--hold on a minute...(louder) Commander Gouda, exactly
what do you want?

Gouda's Voice (faint): Is that on? Good...listen, I want to return to my
vessel, taking the Guardian with me.

Tai's Voice (faint): You can not let him go, Major! He said he would come
with me!

Kira (shaking her head): All this over HIM? Why can't we just let him go?

(Cut to a shot of Gouda holding a hand weapon of some sort to Tai's head.
Pan over to Odo, who is held at gunpoint at the bar.)

Odo: To be honest, I don't know...personally I'm for him getting the hell
out of here...ask the guys with the guns, Major.

Tai: You will never get away with this, you know. You will be stopped--

Gouda: By who? You people? With what?

Tai: Commander Tai to Darling Ruin! Attack the Kamir vessel!!

(Cut to a exterior shot of the station. The Kaneda cruiser opens fire on
the Kamir ship, blowing very large holes in it.)

(Cut to Ops.)

Kira: Dammit!! (whirling to face O'Brien, who has just shown up) Jetti-
son the Kamir vessel! NOW!!

O'Brien (rushing to his position): I'm on it, Major--jettisoning the ship
now...

(Cut to the docking port where the Kamir ship is docked. There is a loud
"sproing" noise, and the ship is sent spiraling away from the station. The
Kaneda ship abruptly fires a massive energy blast from its stern, utterly
destroying the Kamir vessel.)

(Cut to O'Brien.)

O'Brien: What he said, Major.


Kira: Yeah, I heard him...Odo, what's going on?

(Cut to a shot of Tai flying into a table, knocking it over. Pan across
the casino to Gouda.)

Gouda: All right, then...once I kill this...woman...I will want transpor-
tation back to our planet!

(Cut to Bashir, who is still in Yatsura's grip. His eyes are huge, fixed
on the still form of Tai.)

Bashir: Rasaille...RASAILLE?

(Tai stands up slowly, woozily. Eyes aflame with rage, she turns to
face Gouda.)

Tai (softly): It...does not matter anymore...whether I live or die...

(Suddenly a single glass rises from a table, and streaks toward Gouda. It
shatters against his head, cutting him.)

Gouda (mad as hell): YOU'RE DEAD!! (to Urusei) Kill her!

(Urusei suddenly whips out a massive disuptor pistol. He shoots at Tai,
but the beam is reflected away into a wall. The explosion knocks every-
body to the floor--in the confusion, Bashir slips free and runs like hell
out the door, with Odo hot on his trail.)

Gouda (picking himself up off the floor): Find him! And get the Arc Vene-
sia at all costs! (strides over to Tai) And you, Commander, shall be
the lure...

(Cut to Odo's office. The door opens, and Bashir and Odo run in.)

Bashir: All right, what do we do now?

Odo: I would think that the first thing would be to disarm Gouda and his
guards...

Bashir: Which means we need weapons.

Odo: No, you need weapons. I don't use them, remember?

Bashir: A shame. But we have to get in there...unless--

Odo: Unless they come after you, and that gem you're carrying!

Bashir: You know, you may have a point there, Constable.

Odo: Gods, I hate that title...and you're not exactly helping things!

Bashir: Why's that?

Odo (staring at Bashir): I don't like you. I never liked you. But...you
are a doctor--and we need your sorry ass.

Bashir (cheerfully): Ah, thank you!

(Fade out. Place Freedom Rock commercial here...)

(Fade in to the promenade. Bashir, Odo, and O'Brien are slowly moving down
the corridor; Bashir and O'Brien are armed.)

Odo: Odo to Ops. We're going back to the casino.

Kira's Voice: All right, Constable. Use extreme caution.

Odo: As usual. Odo out. (to O'Brien) How hard do you think this will
be, Chief?

O'Brien: Only two? It shouldn't be that hard, I guess--

(An energy bolt hits the wall behind the trio, blowing a nice-sized chunk
out of it. Pan across the corridor to Urusei and Yatsura, firing really
big guns at our intrepid heroes.)

Odo: The hell with that! (dives for the floor, snaprolling away from the
shots)

(Cut to Urusei and Yatsura, firing.)

Urusei: Hey, d'ya think we should be trying to kill them?

Yatsura: Well, personally I am seriously against the taking of any life,
alien or otherwise. We are all the same in God's eyes...

Urusei: Yeah, I guess you're right.

Yatsura: But we can stun the hell out of them! (flips switch on gun, and
nails Odo in the side)

(Cut to a nice slow-motion shot of Odo crumpling to the floor. It repeats
itself once because it looks good.)

O'Brien: Doctor, Odo's down!

Bashir (oddly calm all of a sudden): Return fire.

(Suddenly Bashir leaps forward, firing his phaser steadily. Yatsura gets
nailed in the face and falls with a massive thump, as Urusei tries to get
a bead on him. O'Brien shoots Urusei while he's aiming at Bashir; he also
collapses.)

O'Brien: Now what?

Bashir (eyes really intense): Now... (snatches phaser from O'Brien) I
nail Gouda.

O'Brien (nervous): Uh, Doctor, are you all right?

Bashir: Oh, I'm absolutely...(sadistic grin) homicidal.

O'Brien (eyes really big): Uh-huh. I'm going back to Ops now, okay?

(Cut to a closeup of Bashir's face. The expression on it is very evil and
very Klingon.)

Bashir: That's fine. Stay out of the way...

(Cut to the casino. Gouda is holding his weapon to Tai's head.)

Tai: You won't get away with this, Gouda.

Gouda: Perhaps. But you aren't exactly going to be around to tell the
tale. Come along, we're going to find your...mate...

(Gouda practically drags Tai out of the casino. Pan to follow them as they
move down the promenade.)

Bashir's Voice (from behind them): GOUUUUU-DAAAAA!!!

(Gouda whirls. Bashir is standing there, with both phasers at his sides.)

Bashir (eyes narrowed): You feel lucky, punk?

Gouda: Why, as a matter of fact I do...

(Gouda pushes Tai away; she sinks to the floor. Bashir runs toward Gouda,
firing both phasers and screaming incoherently; Gouda drops to the floor,
and returns fire. Bashir spins away from the blasts, slipping on a stuffed
teddy Cardassian and sprawling on the floor.)

Gouda (lining up a fatal shot): Any last words, Doctor?

Bashir (chanting): The fist is my god...force over all else...death to the
merry men...

(Suddenly he kicks the furry doll into Gouda's face. Gouda brings his hand
to deflect it; in that moment Bashir's hand dives into his jacket and yanks
out a small phaser, which he shoots Gouda with. Gouda goes limp, as Bashir
runs over to Tai.)

Bashir: Are you all right?

Tai: I am now...

(Suddenly Tai is holding a disruptor in Bashir's face.)

Tai: ...but I don't know about you, Doctor.

Bashir (crushed): But...but...why, Rasaille?

Tai: Revenge, pure and simple. With that little dynamo I can create a
weapon capable of destroying entire planets--and take over a decent
piece of the Gamma Quadrant. Now hand it over.

(Bashir gives her the Arc Venesia. As he hands it over, we hear a phaser
noise; she suddenly collapses into his arms. Looking around, Bashir sees
Dax holstering a phaser.)

Dax (shrugging): I hated that bitch ever since she got here...reminded me
of a lady I knew a hundred and sixty-five years back on Risa, Laurel
des Jardins. Laurel would sell your soul out from under you if you
weren't careful...anyway, one day we fixed her up with a Tholian tra-
der and they hit it off...

(Dax drones on--but this time Bashir isn't there.)

(Cut to the psycho-gyroscope exterior shot.)

Kira (voiceover): Station log, stardate 47245.179. The Arc Venesia is in
safe hands, and the persons impersonating the Kamiri and Kaneda dele-
gations are in the brig. The real emissaries are hitting it off very
well, and...SCREW THIS. I've got better things to do.

(Cut to an observation lounge. Bashir is seated at a small table, looking
out at the stars.)

Bashir: What? Are you expecting some kind of dialogue? You're not going
to get it today--just leave me alone.

(Dax approaches the table.)

Dax: May I sit down, Julian?

Bashir: Go ahead.

Dax (sitting down): Julian, I am sorry about Tai. But not by very much.
But this way you don't have to leave.

Bashir: So?

Dax (winking): And you can continue to drool over me.

Bashir (brightening up): You know, you're right. It's not a total loss.

(Bashir gazes at Dax in that dreamy-geek fashion of his. Dax laughs.)

(Fade out.)

Dramatic Narrator Voice: Forget everything you learned from the Battlestar
Galactica School of Acting, people. Deep Flake Nine--I love the way
that floats off the tongue--DEEP FLAKE NINE is headed nowhere but...
nowhere! It doesn't move, remember? Gotcha!!

***************************************************************************

This Deep Flake Nine story was written by Bill Crawford, aka Wolf 359, out
of Detroit, Michigan. Deep Flake Nine isn't copyrighted, but it would get
kind of strange if someone else started using it, okay? And as always you
can send all your comments to me care of this station...oh, and you can re-
copy the hell out of this, but this block must be in it.

Resistance is futile--W/359

****************************************************************************


 December 31, 2017  Add comments

Leave a Reply