TH LAW O COMPUTING

GROSS' POSTULATE

Fact ar no al equal Ther ar goo fact an ba facts
Scienc consist o usin goo facts.


UTZ' LAW O COMPUTE PROGRAMMING
1 An give program whe running i obsolete.
2 An give progra cost mor an take longer.
3 I progra i useful i wil hav t b changed.
4 An give progra wil expan t fil al availabl memory.
5 I progra i useless i wil b documented.
6 Th valu o progra i proportiona t th weigh o it
output.
7 Progra complexit grow unti i exceed th capabilit o
th programme wh mus maintai it.
8 Mak i possibl fo programmer t writ program i English
an yo wil fin tha programmer canno writ English.


FLAP' LAW

An inanimat object regardles o it positio o
configuration ma b expecte t perfor a an tim i
totall unexpecte manne fo reason tha ar eithe entirel
obscur o els completel mysterious.


MURPHY' FIRS LAW

Nothin i a eas a i looks.


MURPHY' SECON LAW

Everythin take longe tha yo think.


MURPHY' THIR LAW

I an fiel o scientifi endeavor anythin tha ca g wron
wil g wrong.


MURPHY' FORT LAW

I ther i possibilit o severa thing goin wrong th on
tha wil caus th mos damag wil b th on t g wrong.


MURPHY' FIFT LAW

I anythin jus canno g wrong i wil anyway.


MURPHY' SIXT LAW

I yo perceiv tha ther ar fou possibl way i whic
procedur ca g wron an circumven these the fift way
unprepare for wil promptl develop.


MURPHY' SEVENT LAW

Lef t themselves thing ten t g fro ba t worse.


MURPHY' EIGH LAW

I everythin seem t b goin well yo hav obviousl
overlooke something.


MURPHY' NINT LAW

Natur alway side wit th hidde flaw.


MURPHY' TENT LAW

Mothe Natur i bitch.



MURPHY' ELEVENT LAW

I i impossibl t mak anythin foolproof becaus fool ar s
ingenious.


MURPHY' LA O THERMODYNAMICS

Thing ge wors unde pressure.


TURNAUCKAS OBSERVATION

T er i human t reall fou thing u take computer.



FINAGLE' RULES

Eve sinc th firs scientifi experiment ma ha bee plague
b th increasin antagonis o nature I seem onl righ tha
natur shoul b logica an neat bu experienc ha show tha
thi i no th case furthe serie o rule ha bee
formulated designe t hel th ma accep th pigheadednes o
nature:
1 T stud subjec best understan i thoroughl befor yo
start.
2 Alway kee recor o data I indicate you'v bee
working.
3 Alway dra you curves the plo th reading.
4 I cas o doubt mak i soun convincing.
5 Experiment shoul b reproducible The shoul al fai i
th sam way.
6 D no believ i miracles Rel o them.
7 I a experimen works somthin ha gon wrong.
8 N matte wha resul i anticipated ther wil alway b
someon eage t (a misinterpre it (b fak it o (c
believ i happene t hi ow pe theory.
9 I an collectio o data th figur mos obviousl correct
beyon al nee o checking i th mistake.
Corollar 1 N on who yo as fo hel wil se it.
Corollar 2 Everyon wh stop b wit outsough advic wil se
i immediately.
10 Onc jo i foule up anythin don t improv i onl
make i worse.
11 Scienc i trut -- don' b misle b facts.


CHARLEY' OBSERVATION

Computer wer invente b Murphy.


LANDAU' PROGRAMMIN PARADOXES

1 Th world' bes programme ha t b someone.
2 Th mor humanlik compute becomes th les i spend tim
computin an th mor i spend tim doin mor humanlik work.
3 softwar committe o on i limite b it ow horizo an
wil specif softwar onl tha far.
4 Whe th syste programmer declar th syste works i ha
worke an wil wor agai som day.


TURNAUCKAS LAW

Th attentio spa o compute i onl a lon a it
electrica cord.


TH LA O COMPUTERDO ACCORDIN T GOLUB

1 Fuzz projec objective ar use t avoi th embarrassmen
o estimatin th correspondin cost.
2 carelessl planne projec wil tak onl twic a long.
3 Th effor require t correc cours increase geometricall
wit time.
4 Projec team detes weekl progres reportin becaus i s
vividl manifest thei lac o progress.


BLAUW' LAW

Establishe technolog tend t persis i spit o ne
technology.


BROOK' LAW

Addin manpowe t lat softwar projec make i later.


HOARE' LA O LARG PROGRAMS

Insid ever larg progra i smal progra strugglin t ge
out.


TH NINETY-NINET RUL O PROJEC SCHEDULES

Th firs 9 percen o th task take 1 percen o th tim
an th las 1 percen take th othe 9 percent.


TH LA O COMPUTABILIT APPLIE T SOCIA SCIENCES

I a firs yo don' succeed transfor you data.


BERNETIC' LAW
doggon compute i man' bes friend


TH PROGRAMMER NEMESIS

Expert theoriz that throug evolutio an inbreeding
programmer ma becom distinc subspecie o th huma race.


TH SYSTE DESIGNER' TROUBLE

Al system designe t b wonderfull efficien ar hel fo th
peopl wh suppl th inpu an us th output


WAIN' CONCLUSION

1 H wh get to bi fo hi britches get expose i th end.
2 Stayin afloa i managemen i easie i yo don' mak bi
waves.
3 Th onl peopl makin mone thes day ar th one wh sel
compute paper.
4 I yo didn' hav problems yo wouldn' nee peopl aroun
t hel solv them Conversely i yo didn' hav peopl
around mayb yo wouldn' hav problems.
5 Nothin motivate ma mor tha t se hi bos puttin i
a hones day' work.
6 Bosse ar s bus delegatin jobs tha hav n tim t d
an work.
7 Whe someon blow you horn i sound lik Cadillac Whe
yo toot i sound lik Volkswagon.
8 Yo ca tel som peopl aren' afrai o wor b th wa the
figh it.
9 Peopl wh min thei ow busines succee becaus the hav
s littl competition.


GIB' LAW O COMPUTE UNRELIABILITY

1 Computer ar unreliable bu human ar eve mor unreliable.
2 An syste whic depend o huma reliabilit i a unreliabl
system.
3 Th onl differenc betwee th foo an th crimina wh
attac syste i tha th foo attack unpredictabl an o
broade front.
4 Self-checkin system ten t hav a inheren lac o
reliabilit o th syste i whic the ar used.
5 Th error-detectio an correctio capabilitie o an syste
wil serv th ke t understandin th typ o erro whic tha
ca no handle.
6 Undetectabl error ar infinit i variety i contras t
detectabl errors whic b definitionar limited.
7 Investmen i reliabilit wil increas unti i exceed th
probabl cos o th error o unti somebod insist o gettin
som usefu wor done.



GROSCH' LAW

Computin powe increase a th squar o th cost I yo wan
t d i twic a cheaply yo hav t d i fou time a fast.


ISAA ASIMOV' THRE LAW O ROBOTICS

1 robo ma no injur huma bein or throug inaction
allo huma bein t com t harm.
2 robo mus obe order give t i b huma bein excep
wher suc order woul conflic wit th firs law.
3 robo mus protec it ow existanc a lon a suc
protectio doe no conflic wit th firs o secon law.


HOROWITZ' SON FO IN-HOUS COMPUTE PROGRAMS

"I/O I/O it' of t wor w g ..."


HOROWITZ' RULES

1 Wisdo consist o knowin whe t avoi perfection.
2 compute make a man mistake i tw second a twent me
workin twent year make.
3 Ther exis unthinkabl thoughts.


GALEF' DEDUCTIONS

1 Microminiaturazatio jus make th proble harde t ge at.
2 Flaw foun i th progra wil usuall tur ou t b flaw
i th system bu neve vic versa.
3 Fallibl me desig fallibl computers.


HUNT' LA O SUSPENSE

I an wor ha suspens dat o it tha wor wil b
complete a clos t th suspens dat a possibl regardles o
ho fa i advanc th wor wa programmed.


LA FO TH FUTURE

I it' no i computer i doesn' exist.


M AULEY' AXIOM

I syste i o sufficien complexity i wil b buil befor
i i designed implemente befor i i tested an outdate
befor i i debugged.


MAIER' LAWS

1 I th fact d no confor t th theory the mus b
dispose of.
2 Th bigge th theor th better.


ANOTHE ON O MURPHY' LAWS

I mathematicall yo en u wit th incorrec answer tr
multiplyin b th pag number.


SNAF EQUATIONS

1 Give an proble containin equations ther wil b n+
unknowns.
2 A objec o bi o informatio mos neede wil b leas
available.
3 An devic requirin servic o adjustmen wil b leas
accessible.
4 Interchangeabl device won't.
5 Badnes come i waves.


BRADLEY' BROMIDE

I computer ge to powerful w ca organiz the int
committee That'l d the in!!!


TH ENGINEER' LAW

I i can' b don wit jumpers i isn' wort doing.


ARTHU C CLARK' LAW

I ha ye t b prove tha intelligenc ha an surviva value.


TH FAIL-SAF THEOREM

Whe fail-saf syste fails i fail b failin t b fail-
safe.


LAUNEGAYER' MAXIM

Al th world' a analo stage an digita circuit pla onl
bi parts.


FEATHERSTONE' ACCURAT STEP T SYSTEM DEVELOPMENT

1 Wil enthusiasm
2 Disillusionment
3 Tota confusion
4 Searc fo th guilty
5 Punishmen o th innocent
6 Promotio o nonparticipants


WEINBERG' LAW

I builder buil building th wa th programmer wrot
programs th firs woodpecke tha cam alon woul destro
civilization.