Category : Various Text files
Archive   : 19NEVER.ZIP
Filename : 19THINGS.TXT

Output of file : 19THINGS.TXT contained in archive : 19NEVER.ZIP

From: [email protected] (Andrew Hackard)
Subject: More things you never see on ST...
Date: 23 Sep 91 06:44:49 GMT

[Stolen from rec.humor.funny. Enjoy...Andrew]

Some other things that never happen on Star Trek...

>>A redshirt sneaks down a deserted corridor, turns a corner, and suddenly
has a surprise birthday party.

>>A redshirt manages to avoid the thrown knife, phaser shot, arrow, or

>>McCoy says, "On second thought, maybe I'm a carpenter and NOT a doctor
after all."

>>The deflector shields hold through the duration of the battle.

>>Kirk meets a woman whom he's known for years but never had sex with.

>>Sulu and Chekov get to do something interesting.

>>Kirk says, "Uhura, I'm frightened."

>>Kirk gets Court-martialed for violating the Prime Directive.

>>A Klingon says to a companion, "Hey, I like you."

>>Harry Mudd manages to turn a healthy profit selling something legal.

>>An android race turns out to be completely friendly and not threatening
or menacing in any way.

>>Some patient of McCoy's who's NOT a central character lives.

>>Riker manages to avoid seeming like a William Shatner clone.

>>The crew of the original Enterprise disperse, Sulu gets his own ship, and
nobody suffers major emotional trauma.

>>A major character dies and isn't resurrected.

>>The mysterious a giant threatening object is on a direct course for some
world other than Earth.

>>Somebody says, "You know, the Enterprise-D looks really stupid! What is
it, a `Close Encounters' reject???"

>>Artificial intelligence and android technology make human exploration of
the galaxy obsolete.

>>McCoy says, "He'll live, Jim."

--Andrew "Actually, that IS a banana, but it
[email protected] sure is great to see you anyway."

Disclaimer:Given X, where X is a member of the set of my opinions, it is
not the case that X must be a member of the set of the opinions
of any given Y, such that Y != me.

  3 Responses to “Category : Various Text files
Archive   : 19NEVER.ZIP
Filename : 19THINGS.TXT

  1. Very nice! Thank you for this wonderful archive. I wonder why I found it only now. Long live the BBS file archives!

  2. This is so awesome! 😀 I’d be cool if you could download an entire archive of this at once, though.

  3. But one thing that puzzles me is the “mtswslnkmcjklsdlsbdmMICROSOFT” string. There is an article about it here. It is definitely worth a read: