Dec 232017
 
Various witty sayings for TODAY fortune program.
File TODAYWIT.ZIP from The Programmer’s Corner in
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Various witty sayings for TODAY fortune program.
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TODAY.WIT 33531 12528 deflated
XTRAQUOT.TXT 4967 1712 deflated

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Contents of the XTRAQUOT.TXT file


F Peer's Law:
F C The solution to the problem changes the problem.
F de la Lastra's Law:
F C After the last of 16 mounting screws has been removed
F C from an access cover, it will be discovered that the wrong
F C access cover has been removed.
F de la Lastra's Corollary:
F C After an access cover has been secured by 16 hold-down
F C screws, it will be discovered that the gasket has been
F C omitted.
F Design flaws travel in groups.
F You can't fight the law of conservation of energy
F C but you sure can bargain with it.
F Gerrold's Fundamental Truth:
F C It's a good thing money can't buy happiness.
F C We couldn't stand the commercials.
F Gerrold's Law:
F C A little ignorance can go a long way.
F CLyall's Addendum:
F C ... in the direction of maximum harm.
F Gerrold's Pronouncement:
F C The difference between a politician and a snail is
F C that a snail leaves its slime behind.
F When a man laughs at his misfortunes, he loses a great many
F C friends. They never forgive the loss of their perogative.
F C H. L. Mencken
F An idealist is one who, on noticing that roses smell better
F C than cabbage, concludes that it will also make better soup.
F C H. L. Mencken
F Whenever you hear a man speak of his love for his country,
F C it is a sure sign he expects to be paid for it.
F C H. L. Menchen
F Democracy is the theory that the common people know what
F C they want and deserve to get it good and hard.
F C H.L. Menchen
F A judge is a law student who marks his own exam papers.
F C H. L. Menchen
F Arcana Coelestica:
F C Archbishop - A Christian ecclesiastic of a rank superior
F C to that obtained by Christ.
F Puritanism - The haunting fear that someone, somewhere,
F C may be happy.
F C H. L. Menchen
F Adultary is the application of democracy to love.
F C H. L. Menchen
F The Arithmetic of Cooperation:
F C When you're adding up committees
F C there's a useful rule of thumb:
F C that talents make a difference,
F C and follies make a sum.
F C Piet Hein
F The Ultimate Wisdom
F C Philosophers must ultimately find their true perfection
F C in knowing all the follies of mankind by introspection.
F C Piet Hein
F Murphy's Military Laws:
F C1. Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than you are.
F Murphy's Military Laws:
F C2. No battle plan ever survives contact with the enemy.
F Murphy's Military Laws:
F C3. Friendly fire ain't.
F Murphy's Military Laws:
F C4. The most dangerous thing in the combat zone
F C is an officer with a map.
F Murphy's Military Laws:
F C5. The problem with taking the easy way out is
F C that the enemy has already mined it.
F Murphy's Military Laws:
F C6. The buddy system is essential to your survival;
F C it gives the enemy somebody else to shoot at.
F Murphy's Military Laws:
F C7. The further you are in advance of your own positions,
F C the more likely your artillery will shoot short.
F Murphy's Military Laws:
F C8. Incoming fire has the right of way.
F Murphy's Military Laws:
F C9. If your advance is going well, you are walking into an
F C ambush.
F Murphy's Military Laws:
F C10. The quartermaster has only two sizes, too large and too
F C small.
F Murphy's Military Laws:
F C11. If you really need an officer in a hurry, take a nap.
F Murphy's Miltary Laws:

F C12. The only time suppressive fire works is when it is used
F C on abandoned positions.
F Murphy's Military Laws:
F C13. The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire
F C is incoming friendly fire.
F Murphy's Military Laws:
F C14. There is nothing more satisfying that having someone
F C take a shot at you, and miss.
F Murphy's Military Laws:
F C15. Don't be conspicuous. In the combat zone, it draws
F C fire. Out of the combat zone, it draws sergeants.
F Murphy's Military Laws:
F C16. If your sergeant can see you, so can the enemy.
F Conrad's Conundrum:
F C Technology don't transfer.
F Blessed are the young, for they shall inherit
F C the national debt.
F C Herbert Hoover


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