Category : A Collection of Games for DOS and Windows
Archive   : SOS.ZIP
Filename : SOS.D$$

. >> Temporary data file of strings for AGT << ÞpÖÿß,ß,÷++SOS§++Þo’† Y2ß,EOEr, $VERB$ the $NOUN$? I presume that was just an error in judgement. EOEither you are very hungry or very, very sick. EOA muffled noise catches your attention. Peering through the double glass EOwindow past the audience, you see the stage curtain starting to move. It EOrises, revealing the stage area. You can see light filtering down from EOsomewhere above, and can barely make out some sort of objects. EOThe stage curtain once again descends, hiding the stage from your view. EONeither the ACLU nor the SPCA would condone doing that to a $NOUN$. EOYour luck has just turned sour. You stumble over the edge of the orchestra EOpit into the percussion section, sending the remains of most of the instrumentsEOand everything you were carrying flying who-knows-where. EOThank you. Same to you. EOYou lurch forward over the seats, forgetting the orchestra pit ahead. You fallEOheadlong into the bass drum and are thrown back, none the worse for wear, into EOthe audience one seat from where you started. Do be more careful next time. EOYou inch up to the edge of the gap. A quick check shows that your pulse is EOholding steady at its usual 72 beats per minute, so you use this to time the EOecho from a fluttering yodel. Multiplying by the speed of sound in basement EOhallways, you easily determine that the gap is only 11.432 feet across and can EObe spanned by using the 12 foot plank. You confidently plant one end of the EOplank in the dirt near your feet and let it fall until the other end hits and EOwedges into the far side, then proceed South. You're so clever! EOYou inch forward to get a better look at the gap. Unfortunately, just as you EOreach the edge, your old war wound (the stitch in your side from laughing at EOthe doctors of the 4077th M*A*S*H giving Colonel Potter's horse an enema) EOflares back up. The spasm knocks you off balance and sends you hurtling into EOthe hole. As you bounce off one wall and then the other you note with chagrin EOthat they are less than 12 feet apart and you might have lived to watch more EOreruns of M*A*S*H had you found some way to bridge the gap. EOStanding at a safe distance, you direct a gentle breeze from the twirling sheetEOof paper toward the stack of junk. An ominous rumble builds until, in a spray EOof hardware and plumbing supplies, the plank comes thundering toward you. You EOstumble back till your shoulders bang against the wall. Just as the tidal waveEOreaches your feet, it plays out and the plank comes to rest against your shin. EOThe crowbar, still chained to the wall, jerks back and clatters to the floor. EOBREAK! Someone say BREAK? Great, I'll see you in ten minutes. Bye, bye. EOI'm back. Now, what were you saying? You wanted to BREAK the $NOUN$? EOYou lay the secret on your cute little bald spot, then cover it with the hat. EOIn an sudden fit of inspiration, you lay the secret on your bare head. EOFor some obscure reason, you decide to balance the secret on the pointed hat. EOWhen you moved, the secret fell from its precarious perch, and was left behind.EOWhat hat? From the glare off your bald spot I'd say you weren't wearing one. EOShe barks out a laugh then hands you a small object saying, "It was a dumb EOjoke, but take my Pluto, please." With that she seems to melt away into the EOshadows, leaving you with a small statue and the funny feeling that your EOgrammatical sensibilities have been offended. (Mine certainly were.) EOA small dog immediately jumps out of the chest and starts scampering about. EOThe PUN is the lowest form of humor (unless YOU think of it first). In protestEOthe packrat jumps out of a hole and replaces the spear with a bucket. EOWhat a CORN BALL thing to do! What a simple-minded, hair-brained... EOWait a minute, a wisp of vapor is starting to come out of the lamp cord. EOEither there's going to be a fire or... Suddenly, with three small puffs of EOsmoke a genie appears before you, dressed in what would be the traditional EOcostume if he weren't wearing it all - even the pointy little shoes - EObackwards. Clearing his throat, he focuses his purple eyes on you and says, EO"I'm late for an appointment at the REGEN MOOR, but I'll be \ / EOback later to GET my three wishes." Try to stay alive till -->POOF<-- EOthen. With that, he vanishes in a cloud of very green smoke. / \ EOFinding a convenient wall outlet, you plug the lamp in and switch it on. EOSuddenly, the lamp lurches from side to side as a geyser of smoke and flame EOshoots upward, ricochets off the ceiling and back to the floor. In the midst EOof the fire and brimstone a genie appears, franticly slapping out the flames onEOthe seat of his silk pants. Killing the last of the embers, he turns his EOattention toward you...and to your fingers still grasping the on/off switch, EOthen to you, then to his pants, then to your fingers... Then, eyes narrowing EOto glowing red slits, he draws up to his full 5 foot 95 inch height to hurl a EOmighty thunderbolt. And that, dear child, is how you became a three-headed, EOcrab-sucking throat-warbler mangrove, and why the game must be terminated at EOthis point. You can no longer use the keyboard with those silly tentacles. EOAs you enter the room, you notice your old friend, the genie, snoozing in the EOcorner. At the sound of your footsteps, he stirs and groggily undergoes three EOquick transmutations. Finally settling on a solid form, he rubs his eyes and EOsays, "For my first wish, I want something to WEAR." EOWith a semi-logical motion, the genie turns the SKATE inside-out, handing you aEOmedium rare STEAK, saying, "Eat up, then meet me at the CLAWKAT with a TRACE." EODespite your best intentions, you wolf down the entire steak in only 4-1/3 EObites. Then you notice the fortune cookie that came with it. EOStarting across the catwalk, you notice a familiar smell. Whirling around, youEOsee the genie splashing CAMEL #5 cologne under his red white and blue arms. EORebuttoning his shirt, he says, "I've taken a liking to you, so tell you what -EOdrop what you're doing and bring me something to PLAY for my second wish and EOyou may live long enough to have the honor of granting my third wish some day."EONonchalantly taking the BUGLE, he reaches his arm into the bell and then EOyanks. The instrument seems to twist back into itself and spiral into - EOnothing. Winking his eye, he again vanishes. EOYou make it half way across the sagging catwalk before you hear the crackling EOof the boards splintering beneath you. You crash down to the ceiling supports EObelow. Dazed, you look up just in time to see the massive crate crash down on EOyou. It smashes you right through the ceiling structure and splats you into EOthe theater seats below. Slowly you roll over and see the crate itself just EObreaking through the ceiling and again rocketing toward you. Once again, it EOsmashes into you, sending you and two rows of seats through the floor into the EObasement. There you again come to a rest, thankful to some small extent that EOthis is a solid concrete floor and you won't fall through again. It is then EOthat the crate and the two rows of seats land on you. So THIS is how Wiley E. EOCoyote feels. Unfortunately, YOU aren't a "Toon", so we'll quietly draw the EOcurtain on you at this point. (Did Alladin have this much trouble too?) EOYou pound and jab at the lid until it finally loosens, then you push it aside. EOOn a hunch, you return to the DOWN CENTER area of the stage. As you approach, EOthere erupt clouds of multi-colored smoke, surrounding, once again, the genie. EOThis time she looks you straight in the eye and says, "Bring me what I want, EOand you'll be home free. Of, course, it would be too easy if I were to tell EOyou what I require. You figure it out." EOTaking the RECLAIM, the genie carefully unfolds it, extending all 7 legs. She EOthen starts to do some mystical something or other building slowly from mumblesEOand slow waving to violent spins and leaps while singing lengthy passages from EOthe Form 1040 instructions. Suddenly, there is complete silence. You can EOalmost feel it reverberate off the walls of the empty stage. Then, the RECLAIMEOmakes a slight move. Slowly, its skin starts to ripple in concentric circles EObuilding from the outside and moving inward where they gather and start rising.EOThe pulsing mass starts to become indistinct and luminescent then congeals intoEO- a MIRACLE! With that, you hear every door in the building unlock and swing EOopen and you smell the rush of fresh air. You are free to go. You have EOsurvived homonyms, puns, anagrams, non sequitures, misspellings, obscure EOreferences, trivia, useless hints and verbal abuse to overcome STAGEFRIGHT. EOYou screw the bulb firmly into the socket, forgetting that you have not EOdisconnected the electric power from the spotlight. At the first sign of EOarcing, you avert your eyes, thus avoiding permanent blindness. Looking out EOthe booth window, you see "YOU'RE ALL WET, PAIL-FACE" projected briefly on the EOceiling as the bulb flares into brilliance, then descends back to darkness. EOThe packrat carefully inspects the $NOUN$ that you offer, then somehow EOstuffs it into a tiny crack in the wall. He darts toward the wall himself, EOpausing only long enough to throw a small object back to you, then vanishes. EOI think trying to $VERB$ a $NOUN$ is considered a venial sin. EOSlipping the knob into the door latch, you give it a quick turn, and the door EOobligingly swings wide open, revealing the dressing room to the West. EOAren't you glad you have bomb insurance? Oh, you don't? One moment, while I EOcheck the records. Why yes, you are right, you don't. Thank you. We'll just EOhave to pronounce you dead of "percussive fragmentation", i.e. "You go BOOM." EOYour body is hurled into the air like a rag doll. You sail off the stage, overEOthe audience and out into the lobby where you slam into the janitor closet doorEOknocking it completely off its hinges and shattering it. Luckily, the EOInsurance Policy you were carrying provided just enough cushion for your EOlanding that you stand up completely unscathed. (Don't you just love fiction?)EOYou open the fire door as far as it will go and firmly wedge the $NOUN$ EOunder it. You viciously stomp and tramp on it until you are convinced that EOeven you will never be able to get it back out again. EOYou climb tentatively to the top of the boiler and reach down into the throat EOof the safety valve to tug at something stuck inside. Suddenly there is a EOmetallic click and steam no longer hisses out. As the pounding starts to EObuild, you jump for the floor just as the boiler thunderously explodes. EOThat's not playing fair! EOPlease rephrase that as "Put the $OBJECT$ under the door". Thank you. EOWay to go, greedy. Now there's none left for anyone else. EOThe $OBJECT$ gives a quick glance at the $NOUN$, then tosses it back. EOYou never can tell what a cat will eat. Always having been a light eater, JudyEOdaintily nibbles about 1/2 of the hotdog. She then jumps into your arms. EOWith one swift flick of its tongue, the frog (or is it a toad?) grabs and gulpsEOdown the half hotdog. Then, like a scene from a low budget horror film, the EOtoad starts shifting shape. Colors start changing, warts smooth out, hair EOstarts to grow, then, with one final effort, nothing happens. Of course! ThatEOmust have a magic hotdog (hey, I just describe 'em - I don't make these things EOup, you know), and you fed half of it to the cat. There wasn't enough left to EOdo the whole job (whatever it was). Now you'll have to finish it up yourself. EOYou suddenly bolt for the roof edge and freedom! With a graceful Grande Jete',EOyou succeed, alighting daintily on the street below. Looking around, you EOrealize that you are in a dark, featureless void with nothing substantial EObeneath your feet. Realizing that you have just gone outside the programed EOarea of the game, you meekly climb back to "Room #VAR15# - Theater Roof" EOForgetting that this is a balcony, you blithely step over the low railing and EOplummet headfirst into the seats below, sending your possessions flying. EOI could go into graphic detail at this point about what you just did by jumpingEOinto that water with no way to breathe, but that would be redundant since I'm EOtalking to the one who just experienced it. Needless to say, you are dead. EOSome stud you are! You wear a bucket so YOU can breathe, but let a poor EOdefenseless young lady drown right beside you. Just for that, you lose the EObucket yourself and you can see what it feels like. Blow bubbles, sucker. EOWhen are you going to learn? This is a THEATER. Things you find in a COSTUME EOLOFT are only COSTUMES! The paper mache' scuba tanks dissolve away, leaving EOyou to play fishy for about two minutes before the game mercifully ends. EOYou cross easily through the two-inch deep water. EOThe oil flows out over the surface of the stream. At first, you see no effect,EOthen you hear a sound like rocks crumbling somewhere and the water slows and EOrecedes, leaving only a calm, shallow sheet, inches deep. You toss away the EOempty oilcan. (So you're littering. It keeps the inventory neater.) EOYou seem to enjoy the feeling of the oil trickling down your knees. EOWatch out! Boy, it's a good thing I warned you in time. You would have been EOsliced in half by that blade as it fell. I really do apologize. I was so sureEOit was securely nailed in place. Now you can't get through to the East. EOThe intense flames in the hallway force you back. You must find another exit. EOThe hatch is just too heavy for you. EOYou carefully place the $NOUN$ in the hollow on the top of the counterweight. EOWorking together, you are able to $VERB$ the $NOUN$. EOHearing an odd noise as you walk away with the sign, you look back to see that EOit had been hung from an electric cord which has just snapped. The cord flops EOaround the room, sparking and setting fires everywhere it touches. Almost EOinstantly, the entire room is ablaze. EOThe fire has gotten worse. It is getting hard to see and breathe! EOThe heat is almost unbearable. You can't take it much longer! EOYou watch in fascination as your clothes burst into flame. In the distance, EOyou can hear voices singing. "Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday..." You EOhope they get to the part where they blow out the candles REAL soon. In the EOmean time, the game ends. If only you'd had some help lifting that hatch. EOYou dive for the hatch, slamming it behind you, finally safe from the fire. EOYou try to get at the bolts, but you slip, shattering the box. EOAs you lean down, the cat swipes at your nose with her paw. EOThe cat nuzzles your nose and gives you a little kitty-lick. EOThe toad lets out a belch as your lips approach and you turn away to suppress EOyour natural reaction to the smell of concentrated toad breath. EOYou give the quasi-frog a gentle kiss on what would be lips if it had lips. EOThis re-starts the magic. A cloud of lacey vapor and glitters surrounds the EOanimal, then dissipates, revealing a slightly bewildered looking young lady. EOTurning suddenly away, your new friend says apologetically, "It's not that I'm EOungrateful for what you've done for me. Your breath just smells like a toad." EO"Did I ever tell you that Toad breath turns me on?", she purrs as she lays a EOkiss on you that can't be described in a game that would be played by someone EOof your high moral caliber. EOPHEW! There IS something worse than toad breath! EOThe $NOUN$, not being the promiscuous sort, politely declines. EO"Not till after marriage," comes the coy reply. EOYou hear the sound of your breathing echoing inside the bucket as you grope EOtoward where you remember the stream edge to be. You misjudge by only 8 EOinches, but it is enough to send you headlong into the icy water. With quick EOreflexes, you keep the pail on your head until you can pull yourself back to EOdry ground. You find that you did get through to the next section of the hall.EOOnce again you edge toward the stream, bucket over your face. This time you EOthink to peek down at the floor, and manage the trip back with little danger. EOIn your haste, you forget that the curtain is UP, which means that the counter-EOweight is DOWN, leaving nothing to keep you from falling through the hole to EOthe stage, 80 feet below. This you accomplish in far less time than it takes EOto describe, which means you have now been dead for several seconds. EOYou slice away at the ropes until, one by one they snap and fall away. Then, EOsuddenly you drop the knife and have to chew through the last of the knots. EOYou attack that poor defenseless $NOUN$ again and I'm calling 9-1-1! EOYou deftly pry the window open, then toss the crowbar over the edge of the roofEOto destroy the evidence. (A throw-back to your cat burglar days?) EOYou carefully slip through the window and onto the grid. It only takes you a EOfew seconds to get used to moving around on the snowshoes. EOYou enter and step directly BETWEEN the beams of the grid and continue straightEOdown 80 feet to the stage floor. Just before you hit, you imagine a panel of EOjudges off to the side holding up score cards showing 4.5, 5.8, 7.1 and 6.5. EOIt's a good thing you weren't on the Olympic high dive team. Then, S-P-L-A-T! EOA few passes with the sharp hacksaw frees the crowbar from the chain. EOThis is definitely going to be one of THOSE days! The wall just slid shut EObehind you and the other walls are starting to move toward you. I have a funnyEOfeeling about this. (No, you do NOT have a com-link available.) EOThe walls are now so close, you can reach out and touch both at once. EOI hate to disturb your fun, but have you noticed that the walls are now less EOthan three feet apart? EOThe walls are now so close they start to press against your ribs. I do hope EOyou think of something brilliant VERY soon. EOLooks like I better get the mop. Maybe you could get a job as wallpaper? EOThink it over while I shut this game down. EOOh, that's music to my ears. No, not your playing - that was AWFUL. I meant EOthe sympathetic vibrations set up in the walls by your raucous blats. EOI forgot to tell you, whenever the curtain is unbalanced, it overloads the EOmotor and blows all kinds of fuses and makes these doors stick. I'm afraid EOyou won't be able to budge them while anything is sitting on the counterweight.EOIf you will look carefully, you will note that the $NOUN$ is not present. EOThe $OBJECT$ sniffs the $NOUN$ very suspiciously, then hands it back. EOYou manage to pry the doors open, breaking only one fingernail in the process. EOThis is NOT the Enterprise. You'll have to open these doors yourself. EOAs you walk through, the doors slide closed behind you. EOWhat a quaint sense of humor. For a second there, I was half tempted to honor EOyour request. However, I am amused by your antics and wish to see more of EOthem. I shall let you go with only a bruised toe. EOWhy, I thought you didn't even know words like $VERB$, let alone how EOto spell them. I bet you were the life of the party at Sunday school. EOWhat do you know, a REAL magic table! The $NOUN$ vanishes before your eyes. EOYou then hear a thump, like something hitting the floor back toward the lobby. EOOh boy, are you in trouble now! As you swing the heavy chest up onto the EOtable, you put a small rip in the cloth. Strange green and orange vapors hiss EOout and cling to the chest. It seems to quiver for a few seconds, then melts EOinto a sickening black puddle which quickly evaporates leaving all as before. EO(Except that you no longer have the chest.) As your curiosity gets the best ofEOyou, you lean closer to examine the rip, absent-mindedly resting your hand on EOthe damaged table top. The acrid fumes again bellow forth, furnishing you the EOsame fate as the chest. Not only are you now dead, you smell bad. EOWhat a very clever idea. Being a magic table, it easily accommodates your EOattempts to place it upon itself and vanishes in a schizophrenic ->puff<- EOYou start along the mirror with the ring, but halfway, the jewel slips from EOit's mounting, causing you to lurch forward toward the weakened surface. As EOyou fall through the shower of shattering glass, the last thing that passes EOthrough your head is fresh air (and a few thoughts about Veg-A-Matics). EOYou make a series of scratches on the surface with the gem, then you hurl it atEOthe mirror from the far side of the room, shattering it into more pieces than EOyou care to count. It is then that you realize how much diamond looks like EObroken glass. By the time you relocate the gem, you HAVE counted the pieces. EOPlease spare me that! If you were to scrape the mirror with that $OBJECT$ EOit would make a noise only slightly more ear-piercing than running fingernails EOacross a blackboard. Unfortunately, ears are all that it would pierce. EOTrying to cut the window with that $OBJECT$ would only scrape off some dirt. EOYou take a tentative nibble. It has an oddly smooth taste and you feel no ill EOeffects, so you prepare for a second bite. Then it hits you that all is not EOright. You feel faint, your head is swimming. You fall down. You are dying. EOAs you sink into oblivion, you remember an old ditty from your childhood: EO"An apple a day/Keeps the warthogs away, EO But a foot-long hot dog/Will placate a frog." EOWait here a minute, I just remembered something. Yep, I just checked with EOcentral supply. That was only a WAX apple. (Boy, what a hypochondriac!) EOCarefully checking the spit valve, you put lips to mouthpiece and blow. EOYou wet your lips, throw back your head and blow for all you're worth. A EOshower of cockroaches and spider webs flies out the bell along with a stream ofEOnotes that would make Sousa gasp. EOYou always fancied yourself another P. D. Q. Bach. Your fingers fly over the EOkeys and great waves of ethereal music gush from the pipes. EOYou do your best, opening and closing the safety valve, fiddling with levers EOand valves, but you seem unable to get anything out of the boiler at this time.EOMaybe, if you were to find some instructions or even a note about the boiler, EOyou would know what to do. EOYou slip the quarter into the slot. There is a slight click, like some relay EOclosing. You look down to the dispensing shelf, but see nothing. It is then EOthat you notice that the second panel on the machine has started flashing. EOThere is a solid metallic thump and a policy falls into view at the bottom of EOthe machine. Then, amazingly, your coin falls from the broken coin return. EOYour quarter seems to fall straight through from the slot to the broken coin EOreturn and back onto the floor. The machine must be empty. EOSwearing softly under your breath about stupid government regulations, you foldEOthe sign up and cram it into the coin slot. Somehow, this prompts the machine EOinto action and a can of soda falls into view on the small ledge. EOTapping lightly on your arm, your friend says, "I really hate to disturb your EOconcentration, but I'd appreciate it if we could find something to drink. I'm EOterribly thirsty, and my mouth tastes like I've been eating flies." EOTugging gently on your arm, your friend says, " I don't think I should have EOhad all that soda. I have to go to the bathroom." EOYanking firmly on your sleeve, your friend stops you in your tracks and says, EO"I have to go to the bathroom. NOW." EORipping the sleeve right off your shirt, your friend yells, "If you make me wetEOmy pants, I'll never speak to you again! Ouch. Oh, oh no!" EOOops. Too late. The poor mortified young thing goes running away in disgrace.EOYou hear footsteps receding into the distance and the muffled echo of a door EOslamming. (How come everyone but you knows how to get out of this place?) YouEOsit down where you are (carefully avoiding the puddle) and pine away the rest EOof your life over your lost love. You die of old age several years later. EOThe girl dances and jogs while she searches in her purse for a key to the EOladies room. Finally finding it, she bolts into the room. A few minutes EOlater, she sedately re-emerges with her makeup and hair back as it should be. EOHanding you a reel of recording tape, she says, "I found this in there while I EOwas looking for...well never mind." EOObligingly, you hand the can to the girl. She rears back her head and chug-a- EOlugs it in one gulp. Emitting one frog-like belch, she tosses the empty can EOover her shoulder then thanks you sweetly. EOPopping the top off the can, you take a sip. Not bad - for generic soda. You EOtake a few more sips then throw the can into a convenient recycling bin. EOLicking her dry lips, the girl again reminds you that she is thirsty. EOReeling slightly and wiping her cracked lips, the girl pleads with you to find EOsomething for her to drink. EOYou jump in after it, but, forgetting your bucket, you drown. EOYou greedy pig. There is that poor young thing standing right beside you dyingEOof thirst, and you gulp down that soda yourself? I'm leaving. Good-bye. EOYou jump in after it, but, forgetting that the water is only inches deep, you EOsnap several very important cervical vertebrae and die. EOWith the bucket over your face, you do nothing but bump into walls. EOAt the sight of the cat-gut strings on the violin, the cat jumps out of your EOarms onto a lower shelf, then out the door, knocking a door knob into view. EO"I can't even think of things like that while I'm so thirsty." EO"Please, just find me a bathroom. We can talk about that later." EO"You are kind of nice, but I really don't know how sincere you are, and I'm EOreally not in the mood for such things right now." EO"I never told anyone before, but hearing the wedding march has always gotten toEOme. But, you've never even given me anything - except that soda, of course." EO"After you made such a sweet gesture with that toy ring, how could I refuse. EOYes, I'll marry you - as soon as we get out of this place. Besides, we're EOapparently the only two people kicking around in this game. If I pass you up, EOwho knows what computer nerd will play next. You may kiss the `bride'." EO"Sorry, I don't accept gifts from strangers and I've never met one stranger EOthan you. Ha, ha. Little humor there - very little." EO"How sweet. Yes, I'd be proud to accept your ring. Does this MEAN something?"EOYou're wasting your time until you put the tape into the recorder. EOJust as you part your lips to go for it, she seems to explode before your eyes.EOIn her place stands something out of a fairy tale. You figure you either hit EOthe jackpot, or this is one of those characters that walks around Disneyland. EOThe tape is in the machine for good, firmly snapped onto the spindles. EOHearing the wedding march, your friend seems to get a little misty eyed. EOYou again play the music. (Give up. It won't say "Paul is dead" backward.) EOAs you oil the hinges, you notice a warning label on the oilcan: "EXTRA EOSTRENGTH PENETRATING OIL - TO BE USED ON WET SURFACES ONLY!" It is at this EOpoint that massive door falls and flattens you. Does it smart? EOCongratulations! You are now at a point that few have reached. You have EOescaped. HOWEVER, there is much more to this theater than meets the eye, such EOas rumors of a chest of jewels brought in years ago to be sewn into costumes EOfor an extravaganza that never got off the ground. The chest vanished and may EOstill be hidden somewhere in the building. It's yours for the taking. Of EOcourse, since you've found the coal chute, I'll have to lock it up. But just EOto be fair, I've opened up another exit - wide open. The only catch is that EOyou won't be able to leave without the treasure. Simple, no? I think the EOpackrat has something you need. BREAK A LEG! EOWell, we are the inventive one aren't we? Since you've unraveled my little EOposer of counterweights and curtains, lets get even more devious. Now ALL EOexits are sealed, and it will take a miracle to get out. You must also performEOa rescue, but I guarantee you that you are the only person in the place (roguesEOexcluded, of course). BREAK A LEG! - PS I hear the cat. EONot so fast there, let's see your treasure chest. EOPushing through the doors, you step tentatively into the dark room ahead. EOWithout warning, the world spins and rushes past as you plummet downward. EOClearing your head you look around in time to see a large packrat shuffling offEOmumbling something about people with nothing in their pockets to trade. EOThe Pluto shatters into a spray of plaster dust as it hits the closed lid. EOEven with the lid open, dropping the statue causes it to shatter, but the EOimpact dislodges a piece of paper that you overlooked before. By the way, thatEOstatue was a Roman GOD, not Mickey Mouse's DOG. (You dyslexic or anagramatic?)EOYou slather (love that word) the makeup on the hinges. The door soon swings EOopen, revealing the room beyond. (Slather, slather, slather) EOThere is a deafening roar and the area shakes as if hit by an earthquake. You EOmust have triggered an old special effects bomb under the chair. The explosiveEOcharge has become so unstable with age that the effect blows everything in EOrange to shreds. (Don't tell me that was a "CHAIR-Y BOMB"! Har, har, har.) EOSuddenly, the girl starts to shrivel and shrink. "I'm drying, I'm drying!" sheEOcries. Smaller and smaller she goes until all that's left is a small, warty EOtoad. Indignantly the toad hops off toward the basement. You run after it andEOturn a corner in the hall just in time to see it dive into the stream. EODOG GONE, It's empty! (Don't you wish I would make the clues a little easier?)EOYou have already opened the crate and pushed the lid aside. EO-MENS RESTROOM- EO-WOMENS RESTROOM- EOSome lady you are! You wear a bucket so YOU can breathe, but let a poor EOdefenseless young man drown right beside you. Just for that, you lose the EObucket yourself and you can see what it feels like. Blow bubbles, sucker. EOYou give the quasi-frog a gentle kiss on what would be lips if it had lips. EOThis re-starts the magic. A cloud of lacey vapor and glitters surrounds the EOanimal, then dissipates, revealing a slightly bewildered looking young man. EOIgnoring everything that you learned as a two year old, you impulsively turn EO$VERB$ and walk right into the closed door. EO"Did I ever tell you that Toad breath turns me on?", he purrs as he lays a kissEOon you that can't be described in a game that would be played by someone of EOyour high moral caliber. EOThe guy dances and jogs while fiddling with the door lock. Finally, he drops EOhis male ego just enough to ask for a bobby pin. Thus armed, he is able to EOjimmy the lock and rushes in. He emerges a few minutes later, acting as if EOnothing had happened. Handing you a reel of recording tape, he says, "I found EOthis in there while I was looking for...well never mind." EOObligingly, you hand the can to the guy. He rears back his head and chug-a- EOlugs it in one gulp. Suppressing a frog-like belch, He crushes and tosses the EOempty can over his shoulder then thanks you gallantly. EOLicking his dry lips, the guy again reminds you that he is thirsty. EOReeling slightly and wiping his cracked lips, the guy pleads with you to find EOsomething for him to drink. EO"You tried so hard to score points with that toy ring, how could I refuse. EOYes, I'll marry you - as soon as we get out of this place. Besides, we're EOapparently the only two people kicking around in this game. If I pass you up, EOwho knows what computer nerd will play next. You may kiss the `groom'. EOJust as you part your lips to go for it, he seems to explode before your eyes. EOIn his place stands something out of a fairy tale. You figure you either hit EOthe jackpot, or this is one of those characters that walks around Disneyland. EOSuddenly, the guy starts to shrivel and shrink. "I'm drying, I'm drying!" he EOcries. Smaller and smaller he goes until all that's left is a small, warty EOtoad. Indignantly the toad hops off toward the basement. You run after it andEOturn a corner in the hall just in time to see it dive into the stream. EOAs you enter the Gallery, the zookeeper extends a hand in congratulations, but EOjust before you take it a hideous, bellowing screech from the side room catchesEOyour attention. You turn just in time to see the plant thrash about wildly, EOthen wither and rot away, leaving your fiance standing in a pile of dissolving EOcompost. The zookeeper turns to you and says, "That ain't one of them hexed EOroyal frog types is it? I always suspected the vegetable was allergic to frogsEO- ever notice them multi-colored warts all over the pod?" By then, your fiance EOhas rejoined the group and spends the next half hour describing the social EOvalue of someone who would feed their betrothed to a plant, finishing up with, EO"...and you just wait till we're married. See if YOU live happily ever after!"EOSorry to disturb you, but you don't seem to have the secret under your hat. EOHow would you get back in if the secret were to be left on THIS side? EOYou cut another link off the chain. (I can keep this up as long as you can.) EOTry as you might, you cannot dislodge the piece of paper from deep within the EOcrate. Slowly and methodically, you start prying and pounding at the sides EOuntil you have finally reduced it to a pile of splintered lumber. You throw EOthe scrap wood into a corner and take the paper. EOWith the window closed, you can find no way to get to the grid area. EOFor reasons you know best, you have put the dead bulb back in the socket. EOCAT:Is nervous about catgut. SEE ALSO HOTDOG, KNOB, VIOLIN EOGENIE:Anagrams your gifts into useful objects. SEE ALSO BUGLE, LAMP, SKATE EOFROG:Feed it then kiss it (yuch). SEE ALSO HOTDOG, PRINCE, PRINCESS, GUY, GIRLEOPROGRAMMER:Decent chap who spent years on this game. SEE ALSO $5 REGISTRATION EOROGUES:Various. A poor man's D & D. SEE ALSO Gratuitous violence EOTOTO:An afterthought. Pay no attention to the little dog behind the curtain. EOAPPLE:Safe to eat, like the Steak and Cookie. SEE ALSO AVACODO EOHOTDOG:Not for you. SEE ALSO CAT, FROG EOBOOK:Several. Must be read. Good for trading. SEE ALSO PAGE EOQUARTER:Buys merchandise. (Buy policy FIRST.) SEE ALSO DRINK, POLICY, BARBER EODIAMOND:Can cut a glass object. SEE ALSO BOX, MIRROR EODRINK:Not for you. SEE ALSO QUARTER, SIGN, WATER EOKNIFE:Cuts rope only. SEE ALSO ROPE EOKNOB:Will fall into view if you scare the cat. SEE ALSO CAT, DOOR EOOILCAN:Oil calms the stream and eats away hinges. SEE ALSO DOOR, STREAM EOPOLICY:Insurance against a bomb blast. SEE ALSO CHAIR, QUARTER, AGENT EOBUGLE:Fun to play. Makes a good gift. SEE ALSO GENIE, PIRATE EOKEY:Won't be available until late in the game. SEE ALSO CHEST, DESK EOORGAN:Type "4" (STOP #4 in the clues). EORECORDER:Will play a tape. SEE ALSO TAPE EOTAPE:In the locked bathroom. Be nice to a friend. SEE ALSO RECORDER EOTRUMPET:You will need it after you get past the mirror. EOVIOLIN:Neither you nor the cat get along with it. SEE ALSO CAT, KNOB EOBUCKET:Useful for navigating under water SEE ALSO STREAM EOHAT:Use to keep secret under. Must be on top of the secret. EOMAKEUP:Can grease hinges. SEE ALSO DOOR EORING:Makes a very sweet gift to a friend. SEE ALSO MIRROR EOSCUBA:A blatant FAKE. Let the Packrat figure out what to do with it. EOSECRET:Show it to get through the "secret place". SEE ALSO ACTOR, ACTRESS EOSKATE:A very good gift. It will be asked for. SEE ALSO GENIE EOSNOWSHOES:Allow you to walk on the grid SEE ALSO JANITOR EOCROWBAR:Opens crates and windows. SEE ALSO CHAIN, CRATE, WINDOW EOHACKSAW:Cuts chain. SEE ALSO BOILER, CHAIN, VALVE EOSPEAR:Shake it. It's a PUN. EOBOLT CUTTER:Cuts bolts, naturally. SEE ALSO DIAMOND, BOX EOCHAIN:Holds crowbar. SEE ALSO CROWBAR, HACKSAW EOCHAIR:Sets off explosion. SEE ALSO POLICY EOGAP:Will be a fatal fall. SEE ALSO PLANK EOLAMP:Rub it then go to the Green Room. SEE ALSO GENIE EOSIGN:Needed to get a drink. SEE ALSO DRINK EOBOILER:Might knock out a wall if blown. SEE ALSO HACKSAW, VALVE, NOTE EODESK:The courtesy desk contains a very important item. SEE ALSO KEY, RECLAIM EODICTIONARY:Dangerously soggy. Will fall apart if overused. EODRAWER:In Dressing Table. SEE ALSO MAKEUP EOMIRROR:Cut it with a diamond. SEE ALSO DIAMOND, RING EOVALVE:The safety valve has something in it. SEE ALSO BOILER, HACKSAW, NOTE EOCOAT:Conceals a room. EOHATCH:The only escape from fire. It takes TWO to lift it. EOMACHINE:Both take Quarters. SEE ALSO POLICY, DRINK, SIGN, QUARTER EOPEEPHOLE:Examine it to find Tape. EOSEAT:Comfy place to sit. SEE ALSO GUM, NOTE EOSPOTLIGHT:Open it and look at the Socket. SEE ALSO BULB EOSTREAM:Will drown without protection. SEE ALSO BUCKET, OILCAN, SCUBA EOWINDOW:Leads to the grid over the stage. SEE ALSO CROWBAR, SNOWSHOES EOCOUNTERWEIGHT:Up when curtain is down. Can carry things. EOROPE:Holds the chest (CABLE is in elevator shaft). SEE ALSO KNIFE EOBOX:Contains a useful item. SEE ALSO DIAMOND, BOLT EOCHEST:The real treasure. SEE ALSO ROPE EOCRATE:May have something in it. SEE ALSO CROWBAR, PLUTO, TABLE EOGUM:Must be dissolved to see a note. EOPLANK:Will let you get across the Gap. SEE ALSO GAP, TABLE EORECLAIM:I don't really know what it is. SEE ALSO DESK EOBOTTLE:Disolves Gum. SEE ALSO NOTE, SEAT EOBULB:Works in a Socket other than the original. SEE ALSO SPOTLIGHT EOBUTTON:The one in the booth operates the curtain. SEE ALSO COUNTERWEIGHT EODOOR:Some can be opened. SEE ALSO KNOB, OILCAN, WINDOW, MAKEUP EOFORTUNE:In the Cookie - the Treasure is on the grid. EOPLUTO:Put in the OPENed crate. SEE ALSO CRATE, TABLE, SCRIPT EOTABLE:The portable one gets you the Plank. SEE ALSO CRATE, PLANK EO"Now you want to $VERB$ me? Ha! One kiss and you'd think I owe you!" EOIt has seen better days. Years of coffee spills have obliterated most of the EOprinting and completely glued the binding to the desk. The pages are soggy andEOYELLOW and about to fall apart. They appear to be somewhat out of order. EOHaving no particular word to look up, you flip pages at random till you see: EOCoffee stains are covering the rest of the pages. EOThe pages are falling apart as you handle them. You must wait for them to dry.EOThe pages are still too soggy to handle. EOYou start looking for "$OBJECT$", until your attention is drawn to EOSorry, but it seems that the Dictionary pages were all scattered in the EOcommotion of SAVING the game. It may take some time to gather them again. EOThe chest is too wide to fit. EOUpending the bottle, causes the contents to gush out and pour down your leg. EOPanicking at feeling your left big toe starting to dissolve, you fling the EObottle away, splintering it against the wall. You manage to wipe the caustic EOliquid from your toe, losing no more than half the nail. It's a good thing I EOkeep a spare bottle of that stuff in the Green Room. EOPouring some of the bottle's contents onto the gum, you are amazed to see it EOquickly sizzle and boil away, revealing a concealed note. EOIn your haste, you forget the Orchestra Pit. You tumble head over heels EOthrough the Glockenspiel and rebound off the timpani to the Stage Apron. EOMiraculously, you didn't seriously injure anything but your pride and your EOchances of ever joining the musicians' union. Please be more careful. EOA mysterious force hurls you back. You see a shapeless gray mass ahead. Then EOit dawns on you - that's the stage curtain. You forgot it was down. Trying toEOlift it does no good. The seam is weighted with heavy strips of lead. EO"That's just NOT my style." EO"I never could play a trumpet." EO"Even YOU should know that you can't wear a $NOUN$." EO"I thought you knew that you can't play a $NOUN$." EOPerhaps it would help saying TO WHOM you wish to $VERB$ the $NOUN$. EOThe water is flowing so swiftly that you only irrigate your sinuses. EOThe oily water does not appeal to even your simple palate. EOYou'd like to $VERB$ the $NOUN$ to What? EOYou want to $VERB$ the $NOUN$ with WHAT, pray tell? EONow let me get this straight, you want to $VERB$ to WHOM? EOThe $OBJECT$ being on a strict diet, politely declines the $NOUN$. EOYou $VERB$ the secret that you've been so carefully keeping under your hat. EOThere is an almost imperceptible darkening of the small lens in the center of EOthe wall, and with a soft whoosh, a panel swings open allowing you to pass. EOIt was hard enough walking in highheel snowshoes, but going down stairs? You EOdon't even make the first step before tripping and falling head over heels. EOSuddenly, a wispy figure materializes before you in opera cloak and top hat. EODoffing the hat in a sweeping bow, he whispers hoarsely, "Good evening. I am EOthe ghost that haunts this theater. I actually have no part in this game, but EOI felt you would be disappointed were I not to put in an appearance or two." EOWith that he stands up and dissipates before your incredulous eyes. EOSuddenly, a wispy figure materializes before you dressed entirely in grey. It EOlooks you straight in the eye and whispers hoarsely , "I am your conscience. EOAren't there other things you should be doing instead of wasting time on this EOsilly game?" With that it turns and dissipates before your guilt-ridden eyes. EOSuddenly, a wispy figure materializes before you dressed entirely in tatters EOand rags. He whispers hoarsely, "Kind and just soul, I am the poor author of EOthis game. Did you know that $5.00 could feed me and my two starving children EOfor a week? And my dog could afford the operation?" With that he limps away EOand dissipates before your generous eyes. (Nudge, nudge.) EOSorry about that, I was just fiddling around with one of your RAM chips and I EOthink I accidently threw a DIP switch. I'll see if I can fix it... EOOK. Everythink is bAcÉk to nornal no w. You can co&tinue wièth the Game. EOThe packrat chuckles to himself, "What a dip stick, giving me the $NOUN$! EOYou'll be sorry." He stuffs the $NOUN$ into a pocket in his checkered EOvest then darts toward the wall, leaving a small object for you. EOToo bad you didn't read the fine print on your BOMB INSURANCE POLICY. It EOexpired #CTR6# turns ago. You have also expired. EO"Smells like another toad kisser to me," thinks the poor little dog. EOAh, ha! I know what you're trying to do and it just might not work. EOBeware of indiscriminate time travel, you may find you've altered your past. EO"Shave and a HAIR CUT, two bits! I'll need my scissors too," says the barber EOrushing off - unfortunately forgetting you shouldn't run with sharp objects. EOYou hear his chocked scream as you turn and run for the door yourself. EOThe captain applauds wildly (a BAD mistake for someone with a hook for a left EOhand). You escape as he hops in pain trying to pry his hands back apart. EODroning, "There's no place like home," you fade and vanish. So does the witch.EO"Oh, my gosh. You blew the boiler!" He rushes off to repair it, so you exit. EO"He'll have a heart attack when he sees that mess," you think as you leave. EO"Ah, I must go write a review!" he says putting the pen back into his pocket - EOWITHOUT capping it. You wince as you see the twisted smile cross his face justEObefore he collapses from the poison injection. You then exit the scene. EO"Sheez, I'll need my bifocals to read this stuff", he says as folds up the EOpolicy. Doing so, he gets a nasty paper cut which gets infected and he dies. EOUnable to face the truth, the ham runs off, gets married, moves to the suburbs,EOgets fat and has 12 kids. You put the secret back under your hat and leave. EONot that I don't appreciate your sense of values, but you needed that poor EOperson to help you win the game. You should have learned patience. Now the EOplant is starting to nibble on you for dessert. Bon appetite. EO"Why, you dirty double crossing son of a bS-L-U-R-P". While the plant is EOchewing, you sneak quietly out the door. You rat! (Hee, hee, hee!) EO"The IRS called. They want to arrange an audit - of the last seven years." EO"This is E.T. I'm returning your call. Next time don't call collect." EO"It's your mother. You're late for supper. I bet you're out with that theaterEOcrowd again. You're going to come to a bad end in that theater, mark my word."EO"Watson, come here. I need you." EOThat's odd, nothing but heavy breathing. Oh, I know who that is. EO"Harpo called - he didn't say what it was about." EOYou have earned #VAR17# BONUS POINTS out of a possible 22,000 EOExcuse me, but your pager is beeping. EOHowever, since you foolishly gave the cable to the packrat #CTR8# turns ago, EOyou are stuck here and would eventually starve to death. I will save you. EORemember "?" and "COMMANDS" (or you might look it up in the YELLOW PAGES.) EOAGAIN, G - REPEAT LAST COMMAND ºRESTORE - RESTORE SAVED GAME EOBRIEF - GIVE SHORT ROOM DESCR. ºSAVE - SAVE GAME EOCOMMANDS - SHOW THIS INFORMATION ºSCORE - SHOW SCORE EOHELP, H - HINTS (IF AVAILABLE) ºSCRIPT - SEND MESSAGES TO PRINTER EOINVENTORY, I- SHOW POSSESSIONS ºSHOUT - TOGGLES SOUND ON/OFF EOLIST EXITS - SHOW THE "ROOM'S" EXITS ºUNSCRIPT - STOP SENDING TO PRINTER EOLOOK, L - DESCRIBE "ROOM" ºVERBOSE - GIVE FULL DESCRIPTIONS EOQUIT, Q - END THE GAME º? - LIST OF KEY ASSIGNMENTS EOYou pass out from the pressure of waiting for the inevitable attack. You come EOto in the main gallery as the zookeeper snorts. "Must be goin' soft in my old EOage. But watch out for the Avocado, I ain't goin' near it to grab you out!" EO"Kinda sneaky if you ask me, but you ain't got em all yet," snorts the keeper. EO"If you'd get rid of a few of these characters, it'd make my job a lot easier."EO"Well, you going to try a room or ain't you?" says the zookeeper EOThe zookeeper looks up and says, "Try a room - one's as bad as the next." EOThe zookeeper chuckles, "I ain't dumb enough to go in them rooms." EO"Had a friend went in there once. Ain't got many friends these days." EO"Eight rooms to choose from. Most actors I know can't count that high." EO S.O.S. Son of Stagefright, the SEQUEL O c 1989 Mike McCauley O Distributed as ShareWare - Not Public Domain O O O This is your big day. You've studied method acting, improv, mime, dance, Omovement, CPR and all the rest and now you're itching to take your place down Ocenter like all the famous actors and actresses before you. You've heard aboutOan audition down at the old theater at the lower end of the far reaches of the Owrong side of... O -Well, anyway, you thought that it had been closed after a series of very Omysterious accidents and disappearances following their 13 week run of the O`Scottish Tragedy'. (If you don't know that one, just ask any actor.) O When you arrive, the line of hopefuls wraps around the block. OBy the time you get signed in, the only seat left is up in the balcony. O Hour after hour the readings drone on and on and on and on and Oon * O and * * O* z-z-z-Z-Z-Z-Z-z-z-z-Z-Z-Z-Z-z-z-z O * * O O You wake with a start. What time is it? Did you miss the call for your Oreading? You hear what sounds like muffled laughter somewhere. Looking Oaround for its source, it occurs to you that something is disturbingly wrong. O Finally it sinks in. There isn't a living soul in sight. Dust and cobwebs Oare everywhere. There is only one thought racing through your little brain... O "I WANT OUT!" OOh, by the way, the game has been set up for you to play it as an ACTOR. OWould you rather be an ACTRESS? (Please enter YES or NO.) OAt the bottom of a stairway you see a doorway West and some smudged graffiti onOthe wall: "GLASS CUTS DIAMOND" and "DYSLEXICS OF THE WORLD, UNTIE!". OThere are small piles of sawdust in the corners. You see a door to the East. OYou find yourself in the library. The shelves are mostly empty now. The stageOelevator is in a small alcove to the West and a short passage is to the South. OThe stage elevator is now at the basement level and opens to the East. OYou see high shelves with unfinished repair projects and a storage room South. OThe hall continues South. To the East is the one-way passage back to the pit. OYou arrive at a small cranny (or is it a nook? I never know) at the West side Oof the pit. You see, "Our Secret Place" inscribed above a small lens. LookingOinto it, you see nothing and decide it must be some sort of electric eye. OYou find yourself in a cramped little room with curved walls. Something Omassive occupies almost the entire area. As you make your way around to the Ofar side, you see this is the theater organ. The controls for raising the Oentire assembly up to stage level for performances have been gutted and are Ocompletely unusable. You can still see the narrow passage to the East. OExamine and read the "stops", then press the one mentioned in the music book. OYou have come to a narrow passageway with a ladder leading up to the stage and Oa crawl way through to a slightly less cramped area to the West. OYou step into a storage room. Small, useless scraps of wood and old hardware Oare lying about. A plank sits atop a particularly unstable pile of clutter. OYou find yourself near the podium in the orchestra pit. The pit extends to theOWest and there is a small, almost hidden crawl way to the North. OLooking around, you see that the room is bare. You see the Library North OYou are balancing precariously on the plank over the deep gap. Under your Oweight, the ends slip and settle into the ground, wedging them tighter. OYou stand next to the top of a stairway. Looking North, you see a pair of Ocompletely unmarked sliding doors standing open. OYou are in the homonym closet. OThe hall continues South, but the rest of the walls are blank. OYou have come to a dead end. North is the plank over the gap, but there are Oonly blank walls in the other directions. OYou must go West. Just remember how pail you got last time you breathed water.OThis WAS a sealed-off store room. There is now a large hole in the East wall. O(An awful lot of mouse holes here, but no mice.) OSqueezing along between the boiler and the wall you come across a room to the ONorth labelled "HOMONYM CLOSET" OThe storage room floor is a disaster. Junk and clutter lie everywhere. OThe spotlight booth has doors East and West. There is no glass in the window Oto the North (to avoid blinding the spot operator. By, the way, don't try Ogoing through the window. It won't work.) OYou are in a cave that is completely blocked by a large boulder to the West. OThe ground below has a fresh cavity where you fell from the hatch far above. OSorry, time for me to watch a spicy Children's Television Workshop show on PBS.OYou squeeze past the gently hissing boiler. There is a maintenance walkway Othat runs beside the boiler toward the North. Stairs are to the East. OReaching the bottom of the stairs, you can see something massive to the West. OYou have come to a fork in the hallway. You can go North, East or South. OYou have a small problem. The hall narrows to the East and jammed into the Otightest spot is a very genuine-looking guillotine. Its heavy frame extends Ofrom wall to wall and from ceiling to floor. The razor-sharp blade is poised Ohigh above an ominous wicker basket. The only way East is through the frame. OWell, what've you got to lose? Oh, sorry. Poor choice of words. OTo the West is the guillotine that gave you so much trouble. Actually, there Owas nothing to worry about. The blade was nailed up. It couldn't fall. (If Oyou can't trust your programmer, who can you trust?) East is a doorway. OYou are in the Northwest corner of a big room just East of the greasy door. OYou find yourself in a nook (or is it a cranny? I could never tell). OYou have come to the Northern edge of the roof. Most of the way to the North Ois blocked by the wall that encloses the high flyloft over the main stage area.OThere is a short set of steps (also North) that lead to a narrow upper roof. OThe afternoon sun bakes the theater roof. Looking over the sides, you see Onothing but deserted streets in all directions. There is an open hatchway. OYou are in a long twisting hall with side doorways to the North and South. OWith the shattered mirror to the East, you turn South to see an odd room with Oeven odder stains on the walls and floor. OThe wall to the West has a door frame. OYou are at the end of a very, very, very, very long hallway. (That certainly Owas a long hall, wasn't it?) There is DAYLIGHT streaming down a coal chute! OYou are in a long twisting hall with side doorways to the West and South. OYou see doorways to the West, North and East and... WAIT A MINUTE! OThis CAN'T belong in this game! This place looks exactly the transporter Ochamber from a Constitution Class Federation Starship. (NCC 1700 series) OFrom just out of sight, someone orders, "Energize, Scotty". OI didn't write that game. I only know how to get out of trouble in parts of Othis one. You'd better get out of here, fast! OYou are in a long twisting hall with side doorways to the West and South. OThe walls have stopped in their tracks, so helplessly warped that they will Onever move again. (You do believe me, don't you?) A twisting hall goes West. OYou come across a surprise. There is a door to the South with a large EXIT Osign above. This time there is a window that shows a stairway on the other Oside leading directly up to a back alley. The door doesn't seem to be locked. OYou are now in the Northeast corner of the big room. OYou find yourself at the bottom of an elevator shaft. You can see light comingOthrough the gap between the doors to the West. Looking up you can barely see Olight filtering through another set of open doors two floors above. OThe twisted wreckage of the boiler is everywhere. There is barely enough room Oto make your way past it to the East or West. OJust as you step into the room, the fire door closes behind you, plunging you Ointo inky blackness. You can't even find an electrical outlet. Oh, bother. OYou gotta find the PROPer way to keep that door open before entering the hall. OThe destruction from the fire has completely blocked the hall. ONow you REALLY have a problem. The hall is completely blocked by the Oguillotine. You are forced to go back West. OThe walls of the room are inching inward at an alarming rate. A desperate Osearch of the walls, ceiling and floor reveals no escape routes. OSeen any good movies lately? I personally don't think they make them like theyOused to. Oh, are you in a hurry or something? You seem awfully nervous. OAnyway, to make a short story long, one of my favorites is an old Jack Benny Omovie - you do seem awfully antsy - called A HORN BLOWS AT MIDNIGHT. It's Oabout this angel that has to play a trumpet at the right time to make the worldOcome to an end, but he keeps getting things all backwards... Oh, all right, I Ocan see you're not paying attention anyway. Just go back to whatever you were Odoing. Something about a pressing engagement? OIn the Women's dressing room. The hall door is to the East. OYou have found the "Green Room" - the lounge where actors wait between scenes. OYour have made it to the Northwest corner of the grid. You see the window backOto the East. To the South you see the tracks and opening for the curtain Ocounterweight. Against the North wall you see the ladder that goes 80 feet Ostraight down to the stage. It makes you dizzy to look down. OOnce through the window, you take a quick glance down through the steel beams. OThere are wide spaces between them to allow the rigging to operate. The view Oof the stage 80' below is enough to make you keep your eyes ahead. OThere is a hole in the grid large enough to clear the curtain counterweight (orOyou to fall through if the curtain is up and the counterweight is down). OYou see the window at some distance to the North and the opening for the Ocurtain counterweight to the West. OYou've reached the roof over the wings. The hot sun makes you neck prickly. OYou see the top of an air shaft with a ladder leading down. OYou find yourself in the men's dressing room. OYou are standing at the top of a gently curving staircase leading down to the Olobby. You see a small balcony to the East. OAt the South end of a hall, there are doorways to the West and the South and Othe top of a narrow spiral stairway. OThe hall continues to the West and South. There's an open door to the North. OLooking around, you see that this is where props (items small enough to be Ocarried around on stage - guns, books, pencils, etc.) are stored. OYou want to play around with magic tables in a place like this, go right ahead.OWho knows, might be fun. Just don't come crying to me if you loose something. OThe hall ends with doorways to the South and the West and a ladder built into Othe East wall leads up through an access hatch into the ceiling. OThe catwalk allows the techs access to the stage lighting hung above the Oaudience ceiling. You bend low to crawl along, trying not to think about the O30 foot drop through the flimsy structure if you should loose your footing. OThe catwalk continues West and East. The boards creak under your feet. LookingOdown, you see a dangerous SAG. OAt the East end of the catwalk you find a short ladder leading up to the roof. OYou are in the closet. OGarment racks line the walls. There is a definite smell of well worn clothing.OIn an East-West hall. The fire door is propped open to the East OIn the Corner of the offstage area, you see the top of an old wooden stairway. OThe upstage area is dimly illuminated by streamers of light filtering down fromOthe flyloft and work grid above. Specks of dust dance in the light. OYou have wandered into the narrow stage-left wing space. The main stage is to Othe West. You can also see more wing space to the South. There is a ladder Oextending 80 feet upward into the gloom above. OThere is an unpainted red brick wall to the West. OThe center of the vast open stage area is strangely silent. It almost seems Oyou can hear faint echoes of past performers. There is an elevator built into Othe stage floor. Luckily it is in the "UP" position now. OThis seems to be a small rest area that continues to the East in the middle of Othe wings. The main stage is to the West. The wings extend North and South. OA thin wash of light barely penetrates the cobwebs covering a small window Ohigh on the wall. Failing to reach it, you turn your attention to the Odoor to the South with faded gold lettering on even more faded green paint. OLooking around, you see a spiral stairway leading up, a door around behind the Ostairs to the West, and the stage to the East ONear the right proscenium arch you see the tracks that guide the counterweight Ofor the main stage curtain and a faint glimmer of light to the West. OThis is the center of the stage, closest to the audience, where all actors hopeOto take their big bows some day. ONear the stage-left proscenium arch you notice something dark about the floor. OLooking down, you see that it is a trap door - an OPEN trap door. OYou squeeze between old flats (stage scenery) off-left (OFF the main stage Oplaying area and to the actor's LEFT while facing the audience - a little Otheater terminology there). OThe transom over the door admits just enough light for you to make out a small Odesk taking up most of the floor space. OThis is the apron (the extension of the stage in front of the curtain line). OThe main stage is North. You see the audience to the South and curving steps atOeither end of the apron starting off East and West before turning Southward. OThe catwalk continues West and East. There is a firm BULGE in the boards, and Oa mysterious wisp of GAS just dissipating above. OThe curving steps to the apron are to the North, and the audience to the East. OFrom the front row of the audience you can see the stage apron clearly to the ONorth. You can move along the aisles in other directions. OYou are at the base of a very plain spiral stairway. The curving steps to Othe apron are to the North and the audience to the West. OThis looks about like your typical closet (minus the coat hangers). OYou are at beginning of the rehearsal hall. There is a short hallway East. OYou are now in the center of the EAST-West running rehearsal hall. OYou are now at the West end of the rehearsal hall. OYou are now in a middle-ish aisle in the audience area. OBy the soft glow of the light, you can almost make out a faded message scrawledOon the wall: "...re...move coat....in...room..", or something like that. OYou have come across a store room. A stairway leads down. A closet is North. OYou are at the lobby courtesy area. The auditorium is to the North. OThe coat room is almost empty. The Dutch door to the South stands open. OYou find a shelf in the closet. ORipped wires and broken racks show where sound equipment used to be mounted. OAt the West end of the lobby, there is a grand stairway leading upward and a Odoorway to the South. You also see the snackbar to the West. OIn the snack bar you see doorways to the North and West. All the equipment is Opolished and clean, but you find nothing of interest in the cabinets. OThis is another restroom like all the others you've seen. I'll spare you the Ocolorful description except to mention that someone has scratched, "KEEP OSECRETS UNDER YOUR HAT" on the wall. OThe East end of the Lobby opens to the foyer. You see the courtesy area to theONorth and a doorway to the South. OIt would take an EARTHQUAKE to unstick that door. (Reminds me of the joke Oabout the two businessmen that met on the beach in the Bahamas. The first saidOthat he was there on the $2,000,000 insurance money he collected when his Ofactory burned down. The second said that he was there on the $20,000,000 Oinsurance money he collected when an earthquake leveled ALL his factories. TheOfirst one then asked, "How do you start an earthquake?") OYou are in a dusty work area. It looks sloppier than your hall closet. OThe foyer widens out to the East and South. OYou see an open Dutch door to the North and other doors across the room to the OSouth and Southwest. OLooking around, you can see doors across the room to the Northeast and East. OI'm not helping you get in there, you pervert. (A bunch of thespians!) OYou've gone as far as you can this way. You are at the front of the foyer. OHere, the stage lighting and effects are controlled. Doors lead East & West. OYou find yourself in the balcony. You look down over the railing to the North,Oand see the entire audience and stage apron area. There is no one in sight andOno sign of any activity. Looking around, you see a staircase to the West and aOsmall storage closet to the East with a switch just inside the door. OAsking for help already? This is going to be one LONG game. OThe paper has writing on it, which is quite faded. OThis game was created using the Adventure Game Toolkit. O OA BRIEF OVERVIEW OF THE ADVENTURE GAME TOOLKIT O OThe ADVENTURE GAME TOOLKIT (AGT) is designed to allow a game designer/writer toOcreate and play his/her own high-quality text adventure games. Once created, Othese adventure games can be shared with and enjoyed by others -- even if they Odo not have a copy of the Adventure Game Toolkit themselves. Using AGT the Ogame developer can create two distinct levels of adventure games: O O STANDARD LEVEL games that require no programming experience (honestly!!), O only a fertile imagination. These Standard Level games only require that O the game designer/writer generates the game using a word processor or text O editor to describe the various locations, objects and results of actions O that collectively make up the game. O O PROFESSIONAL LEVEL games that also make use of AGT's special adventure gameO metalanguage to create games as complex and rich as the game designer's O imagination and prose style will allow. These games should be technically O comparable with the published text adventure games from firms like O Infocom. O OFEATURES OF THE ADVENTURE GAME TOOLKIT O OAGT has a number of features that make it a very comprehensive adventure game Ocreation product. Some of these key features are: O O * "Look and feel" of Infocom adventure games with similar screen layout O and standard vocabulary and routines. O O * Large standard vocabulary with potential to define many more words O unique to a specific adventure. Typical games can have a vocabulary O of 500 words or more. O O * Sophisticated parser that can understand (1) complex input commands O including pronouns (IT, HIM, HER, THEM, MY and ITS), and (2) compound O commands separated by AND or THEN or punctuation symbols, and (3) O commands addressed to characters within the game. Here are a few O examples of commands AGT can handle with ease: O O GET THE FLASH LIGHT AND THEN SWITCH IT ON O PUT ON THE CLOAK, THEN EXAMINE IT; READ ITS LABEL O PLACE THE GREEN ROCK AND THE SMALL PEBBLE BEHIND THE TREE O ENTER THE HOUSE; GET ALL; EXIT; SOUTH; SOUTH THEN DOWN O SULU, SET A COURSE FOR ALPHA 14 O SCOTTY, BEAM DOWN A TRICORDER AND THE QWERTY MODULE O DROP THE FOOD, THE KEY AND THE BOTTLE THEN UNLOCK THE DOOR WITH O THE BRASS KEY AND THEN LEAVE O O * Function and cursor keys predefined to input frequently used commands O and move directions. O O * SCRIPT and UNSCRIPT commands to echo game output to printer. O OWHAT THE REVIEWERS HAVE SAID ABOUT THE ADVENTURE GAME TOOLKIT O O "Using the Adventure Game Toolkit, anyone with an ounce of O imagination can create a text adventure game ... similar in layout O and sophistication to those made by Infocom and other commercial O developers." O O -- Donald B. Trivette in PC Magazine (January 17, 1989) O O "The Adventure Game Toolkit (AGT) acts as a compiler which allows O for creating remarkably complex and sophisticated games in a fairly O simple way .... AGT's parser reminds me of Infocom's." O O -- Scorpia in Computer Gaming World (February 1989) O O "If you have ever wondered what it is like to create your own O adventure games, but didn't have the programming knowledge to do it, O this product is for you .... The process is easy ... and you'll have O hours of fun doing it." O O -- Resul DeMaria in Public Domain Software & Shareware O O "The Adventure Game Toolkit from Softworks ... provides all the O tools you need to build your own text based adventure games .... The O Adventure Game Toolkit is an extrememely powerful development O package." O O -- Bob Napp in Big Blue Disk #30 O OTO LEARN MORE ABOUT THE ADVENTURE GAME TOOLKIT O OLook for a file named AGTBLURB.TXT on this disk or the place/service where you Ogot this disk. This file is a short description of the features of the OADVENTURE GAME TOOLKIT. This file presents an overview of AGT's special Ometalanguage for creating PROFESSIONAL LEVEL games, plus presents a complete OSTANDARD LEVEL adventure created without any programming. O OHOW TO GET THE LATEST VERSION OF THE ADVENTURE GAME TOOLKIT AND SAMPLE GAMES O OFor only $20.00 you can be a "registered" user and receive the latest version Oof AGT plus the source code for this adventure game and others just as good. ORegistered users can also order a printed AGT manual that reveals many of the Osecrets of the "Great Adventure Masters" for creating clever and fun adventure Ogames. Registered users can also order the Turbo PASCAL source code for AGT Ofor only $50.00! O OJust write or call: O O Softworks O 43064 Via Moraga O Mission San Jose, California 94539 O O VISA or MasterCard accepted for telephone orders O (415) 659-0533 9:00 AM to 6:00 PM -- PST only O OIf you wish to learn more AGT products and prices, just enter the command: O OPRINT ORDER FORM OAt the South end of the hall you find doorways to the East and West. The one Oto the East is labelled, "MR. BARD AVON'S PUN CLOSET". The West doorway is Olabelled. "TECHIES (pronounced TEYK-EEZ) ONLY!" OYou have come to a central gallery opening onto eight small rooms. You hear Ostrange yells, mumbles, cackles, screams and mad ravings coming from the rooms.OThis Rogues Gallery was put in for those of you who just can't stand having an Oadventure game where you don't get to kill some creature. Have fun. OYou are in a small side room. The exits all lead back to the main gallery. OThere is no water around so you'll have to escape like Dorathy FINALLY did. OYou are in a small side room. The exits all lead back to the main gallery. OHe's probably so ticked off because he can't remember where he put something. OYou are in a small side room. The exits all lead back to the main gallery. OAll a theater critic knows is critiquing, so give him something to criticize. OYou are in a small side room. The exits all lead back to the main gallery. OYou know he's lousy at getting you work, but he's a whiz at fine print. OYou are in a small side room. The exits all lead back to the main gallery. OLearning the secret of your success would just kill that ham. OYou are in a small side room. The exits all lead back to the main gallery. OHe has only one weakness that I know of. He fancies himself a music lover. OAs I recall the plot of that show, there is NO way of getting away from that Oplant without feeding it - and it has very particular tastes. OYou are in a small side room. The exits all lead back to the main gallery. OYou'll get a CLOSE shave whether you like it or not, and you will PAY for it. OShe is thin and sleek, and like most theater cats, probably knows a lot more Oabout drama than you do. Show her kindness and you'll have a new friend. OObviously a figment of your imagination, probably based on your 5th grade Eng- Olish Grammar teacher. She seems (or "seams"?) to expect you to do something. OThis time he is wearing formal evening attire and a bright yellow bib that Oclashes with his green teeth. OThis time his outfit looks like a costume reject from Doctor Pepper's Lonely OHearts Club Band. (His shoes are sizes 10, 2 and 4.) OThis time she (yeah, I know. You got to watch out for genies, they change on Oyou.) is wearing leotards, tights, tutu, point shoes and a tiara and carrying Oa big bouquet of roses. Looks like a Prima Donna ready to take a final bow. OShe is a creature of simple tastes. Treat her nicely, feed her and don't Ofrighten her and she will be a friend for life. (9 lives, if you're a cat.) OIt eyes you suspiciously at first, then standing up on its hind paws, it Ostrides boldly over and squeaks, "Let's make a deal". OIt may be a toad. Frankly, I really can't tell them apart. Whatever it is, itOdoes seem to be hopping mad about something. OSomething seems different about the frog now, but you can't quite place what itOis. It just seems to keep trying to make eye contact. OShe blushes slightly as she sees you looking her over, then she sizes you up. OShe is the girl of your dreams. (You are probably dreaming all this anyway.) OHe blushes slightly as he notices you sizing him up, then he checks you out. OHe is the man of your dreams. (You are probably dreaming all this anyway.) OWhat the heck. Might as well let the little guy have a cameo appearance. He Ohasn't been able to get any work since RETURN TO OZ. (I promised you a rescue.)OIt stands over 9 feet tall. The main pod is covered with multi-colored warts, Oand has jaws big enough to walk into (if you were so inclined). Gnarled vines Oextend into the entire room and are slowly inching toward you. OHis red eyes are sunk into grayed sockets and his arms are crusted with the Oblood of previous customers. In his right hand he brandishes a gleaming, Osilver-handled straight razor. "You are next," he snarls. OHe is wears a long violet coat over a lacey shirt and black knee britches and Osports an enormously oversized hat with a pink ostrich plume. In his right Ohand he waves a sinister cutlass and he has a HOOK in place of a left hand. OProbably just the kind of old crone who would go around turning people into Ofrogs (or toads). She looks you over approvingly and starts gesturing and Omuttering an incantation. You feel your eyes starting to bulge OHe was looking for something, but has now turned his attention to you. He Oappears to have guessed that you know more about him than he cares to have madeOpublic. Chomping on his cigar, he rolls up his sleeves and heads toward you. OThis is the guy you always suspected was out to get you. Now you are sure of Oit. He grins maniacally and comes at you with poison pen raised. ONow you know this must be some kind of weird nightmare. Your own agent is Oafter you. He is rolling up a stack of your head shots and publicity releases Oand seems intent on using them as a club. OThis is the guy who has edged you out of more good parts than you care to thinkOabout. Now he's coming right at you waving his scrapbook. Either he's going Oto bore you to death with his clippings, or he means to attack you. OThis is the prima donna who's edged you out of more good parts than you care toOthink about. Now she's coming right at you waving her scrapbook. Either she'sOgoing to bore you to death with her clippings, or she means to attack you. OHe turns momentarily and says, "Remember. only you can prevent rehearsal hall Ofires." He then goes back to his work. OHe spits in the corner and says."You know, not many people come down this way Oany more. A lot fewer go back. These rooms hold about the nastiest bunch of Ocharacters you'd want to tangle with. Try 'em if you like. Ain't no skin off Omy nose." He then settles back in his chair to watch. OShe spits in the corner and says."You know, not many people come down this way Oany more. A lot fewer go back. These rooms hold about the nastiest bunch of Ocharacters you'd want to tangle with. Try 'em if you like. Ain't no skin off Omy nose." She then settles back in her chair to watch. OYou see your own reflection in it. You look tired. (Is that a zit?) OThe mirror seems not to mind being touched. In fact, it seems somewhat reluct-Oant to let go of your hand. Oops, wrong story. This is just a plain mirror. OYou hear the rush of flame in the firebox. The boiler spits and sputters as Oif the safety valve weren't working. It looks ready to blow at any second. OThe table has a mirror and a small drawer. There is nothing lying on the Otable. A quick search shows that there is nothing behind nor under it. OThere is something scribbled on the mirror with lipstick. O"THE MAKEUP THEY GIVE YOU IN THIS PLACE WOULD GIVE ZITS TO WROUGHT IRON!" OThe table slides a few inches, then a foot drops into a knothole in the floor. OThe locked desk stands under an imitation red velvet banner. OThe banner above the courtesy desk says, "Lost and Found Desk - RECLAIM Here". OIt seems to be one of those double books with a separate story starting at Oeach cover and meeting in the middle. There is a title on each cover. OThe front cover says, "THROUGH THE LOOKING GLASS" and the other front cover Osays, "JOSHUA AT JERICHO". OTurning the book over, you see that the front cover says, "JOSHUA AT JERICHO" Oand the other front cover says, "THROUGH THE LOOKING GLASS". OIt seems as if the janitor in this place doesn't trust anyone with his tools. OThere's no lock on the chain. It'd have to be cut to free anything from it. OA closer examination shows that something is built into the base of the chair, Obut the only access is from the back and the chair is tight against the wall. OIt has a broad base with some writing, fluted sides and a non-drip spout. OTurning the bottle over to read the label sends the contents dribbling out all Oover your particulars. (Well, what am I supposed to call it? Children may be Owatching. Besides you know I mean.) Anyway, you manage to right the bottle inOtime to save some of the contents, and after wiping it carefully on your Osleeve, you hold it over your head to read, "GUM REMOVER" on the bottom. OThe door (like most of the others in this place) seems to be warped from Odisuse. The handle does seem to still be useable and there is no obvious lock.O"Stage Manager's Office" OThe paint is pealing off the door and the latch is reddened with rust. OThere is a faded scrawl under the "EXIT" sign. O"Through these portals pass the biggest hams in the world." Anon. OA good way to build muscles - isometrics, but it has no effect on the door. OYou pull as hard as you can, but all you get is rust-covered blisters. OIt twists in your hand till it almost comes off. but the door won't budge. OIt's seen better days. It is battered and dented. Fortunately, it has no keysOto stick, so it is still useable. The dents only mellow its baroque timbre. OIt's in good shape and looks like it could do a job on anything it could reach.OIt is a plain looking door with a small plaque at eye level. OIt simply doesn't budge. OYou pull as hard as you can, but it doesn't yield. OThe handle twists in your hand till it almost comes off. OThe main exit doors are heavy brass monstrosities left over from a former age Oof theater construction. There's an ornate word worked into the design. O"EXIT" OExit doors open outward. Check National Fire Protection Association Pamphlet O101, "Life Safety Code", Chapter 5, "Means of Egress", paragraph 2.1.4.1 "Any Odoor in a means of egress shall be of the side-hinged or pivoted swinging type.OThe door shall be so designed and installed that it shall be capable of Oswinging from any position to the full use of the opening in which it is Oinstalled. Doors shall swing in the direction of exit travel:" OIt does no good. There is a panic bar on the door, but no latch or handle. OAlways looking for the easy way out. What's this younger generation coming to.OYou can't get out this way. It would take THREE WISHES and a MIRACLE to get Oout of this place. OThis is too good to be true. There is no lock on the door, no rust on the Ohinges and the stairway to the alley is clearly visible through the window. O"EXIT" OThe door and latch don't seem to be a problem, but close inspection shows that Othe heavy, wrought iron hinges are badly in need of lubrication. OThe old doors allow easy access to the next room. OJudging from the label, I'd say it goes to the orchestra pit. O"TO ORCHESTRA PIT" OJust a wild guess, but judging from the label, I'd say that door may lead to Othe music room. O"TO MUSIC ROOM" OThe door is a very proper fire door, with UL and ASME labels, a self-closer andOvery official 2-1/2" lettering. OLooking at the door, you see that the lettering says, "FIRE DOOR, DO N-O-T PROPOOPEN". The labels have all sorts of official garbage on them that only fire Omarshals and insurance inspectors understand. OOne of the new on/off capacitor types that glows very dimly without power. OThe drawer slides easily. It is stained and scratched. OIt is only a few yards wide, but just too far to jump. The sides, as far down Oas you can see are sheer and offer no hand holds at all. OIt is a typical metal shell theater seat with padded back and folding bottom. OYou push the $NOUN$ down, but it springs back upright again. O$VERB$ing the $NOUN$ to the upright position, you see something underneath. OA simple K-mart blue-light special tool. Not worth the hassle of hiding it Othat elaborately. At least it was rust-proofed. OThe jaws on this baby would do you proud on even hardened steel. OA closer examination shows that the coat is actually nailed TO the wall. OIt is so massive that I doubt you could open it by yourself. OYou try till your lips turn blue, but it won't budge. OIt seems like any other foot long hotdog you find in a deserted theater. OAmazingly, the machine seems to still be operational. There is a coin slot, Otwo back-lit message panels (only one of which seems to be lighted), and the Osmall ledge where the sodas would come out. O"Soft Drinks - 25 cents" - Hmm, must be an OLD machine. OYou push the selection button, but the machine only buzzes spitefully and Oflickers the first panel. OThere are a few sticks of very high quality professional heavy greasepaint in Othe kit. Just your skin tone, and a national brand label. O"Freddie Krueger Special Halloween Assortment" OIt is a large bread knife with a serrated blade. OToo bad it never got fixed. Except for the crack in the bridge, it's in good Oshape - even still has all its strings (real genuine cat gut. Actually, cat Ogut is made from sheep intestine, but that still doesn't make cats any less Onervous - and doesn't do much for the sheep either). OLet me explain it to you this way: ³ ..,,,.. O 1. The violin is out of reach, ³ ///////~\\\ O 2. You ain't got a bow, ³ (''~~~ ``\ O 3. You ain't got a union card, ³ { (0 ) >--< } O 4. I know your taste in music, ³ \ __<__ / O -AND- ÃÄÄÄ \ \___/ / O 5. It wouldn't accomplish anything anyway.³ \_____/ OAs you turn the apple around, it glistens, almost as if from an inner glow. OAn apple this good looking evokes uneasy memories of childhood fairy tales. OA familiar looking little thing. Turning it over you notice something engravedOon the bottom. You also notice oil dribbling down into your left shoe. O"IF FOUND, PLEASE RETURN TO TIN WOODSMAN, C/O EMERALD CITY, OZ." O(Obviously, just a prop...isn't it?) OThis is an old solid silver jobby. They don't make 'em like this any more. O"E PLURIBUS UNUM" (One from many) OWell, it's actually kind of hard to describe a reclaim. It's like trying to Otell someone what it felt like the first time you waipled or sailed a grudgeon.OKEEP OUT OF THE LIGHT - DO NOT GET WET - DO NOT FEED AFTER MIDNIGHT OPlacing your lips on the rubbery osculatoria, you play a mournful sea chantey. OAs always, the lateral dendrites slip easily between your fingers. OTwirling like a majorette, you prance around the room. Sparks, streamers and Opuffs of steamy vapor pour from the spinning reclaim. OBeing a ticklish sort of thing, the reclaim quivers gently at your touch. OThese might be just the thing to keep from sinking through soft snow or cracks Oand crevices and cravasses and such. (But ruby red sequin finish - and 4 inch OSPIKE HEELS? I think that janitor has been over the rainbow once too often.) OWhy, that dirty old man! There's a hole in the wall between here and the otherOrestroom. Fortunely, he wasn't very bright either. He drilled into a storage Ocabinet and all you see are cans of Sani-flush and a reel of recording tape. OThe massive instrument has been lovingly maintained. The keys smell of Bon OAmi, the gilt labels on the stops still gleam and the ornamental vase still Oholds fresh tulips...(strange, that reminds of a joke somehow). OThe stops are arranged to the right and above the main keyboard and are simply Onumbered, "1, 2, 3, 4, 5, etc." A simple touch would activate them. OYou pull out all the stops. (You've been just itching to do that some day.) OYou push tentatively, smiling with some perverted satisfaction at the sight of Othe greasy fingerprint you left on the hand polished surface. OA properly labeled reel of audio tape with the ends tucked in neatly. OKEEP AWAY FROM MAGNETIC FIELDS - RECORDED AT 15 IPS OYou don't seem to have a reel-to-reel tape deck on your person. OIt's an old model that appears to dispense some sort of paper through a wide Oslot. There is a coin slot, a few buttons and a broken coin return. O"INSURANCE 25 CENTS" OWithout first depositing a quarter, all you get is a hollow clank. OThere is a front page with large clear lettering, then 27 pages of fine print. OIt's BOMB INSURANCE. The fine print says it expires in #VAR11# turns. OIt is 12 feet long and looks strong enough to support your weight, but also Olooks heavy enough to crush you if it were to fall on you from up there. OYou start toward the pile, but even the gentle breeze stirred up by your arms Ocauses the pile to tremble and a shower of nuts, bolts and old painting Omaterials makes you think better of that idea. You retreat to the far side of Othe room to rethink your strategy. OAs you approach within reach of the pile, even the force of your breathing Ostarts a gentle tremble in the stack, pelting you with nails, faucets and Ocotter pins. You decide to retreat and reorganize. OIt has only one the page left - no wonder it's so thin. OTurning the page over, you find the back to be blank. O"4...SHOW ME THE WAY TO GO HOME" OIt is a small, unimpresive key. It could fit a desk or the like, but you have Othe sneaking hunch that it would also have fit a treasure chest. OThis is a real big one. OYou only succeed in getting bits of it under your fingernails. OThe box is secured to the floor by hardened steel bolts. OWhat a hunk o' ice. Bet that baby'd put a dent in your mortgage payment. OThis is one of the good old-fashioned American label, all-metal models with Oadjustable clamps to dig into the soles of your shoes. O"Made in Japan" OIt is a large wooden packing crate with a heavy lid. OPROP FOR `THE MUSIC BOX' - LAUREL & HARDY; A MENSA/MESA PRODUCTION OThe shade is slightly stained and there are minor dents in the base. OYou rub and rub but only wear through the gold tone finish on the cheap lamp. OIt is a simple utilitarian knob. OYou twirl the knob on your finger for a few minutes, but eventually, even you Otire of such useless activity. (Now I know what to get you for Christmas.) OIt has no handle, making it a little awkward to carry, but you can manage. OIt looks a lot like a panic button. There is shiny lettering around the edge. O"CURTAIN CONTROL" (See how easy I make things for you?) OYou haven't seen anything like this since the Gordian knot. Actually, you Odidn't see that either. You only read about it. You remember, the knot tied Oby King Gordius of Phrygia, that was cut in two by Alexander the Great? Oh, Owell just go on about what you were doing. Just ignore me. I'm used to it. OPLAIN WRAP SODA! Oh great! What kind of a low budget game is this anyway? O"PLAIN WRAP BRAND" OIt is an old hat made of some soft material, decorated with moons and stars andOodd symbols. There seem to be water stains and what look like splinters from Obroomsticks imbedded in the seams. OYou cannot make heads or tails of the symbols. You look inside the hat for a Olabel, but find only a few strands of black mouse fur. OIt has been out in the weather so long, it has almost melted into the roof. OYou try, but are unable to pry the page up, let alone turn it over. OIt's a page from ALI BABA AND THE FORTY THIEVES, too rainsoaked to read. OIt has seen better days. The legs are pulling loose, the top is warped, and itOhas had every conceivable shade of paint spilled on it over the years. OA gentle $VERB$ against the front of the table causes it to twist even further Oout of kilter. It groans softly in protest. OTry as you might, you cannot lift the table enough to budge it. Besides, in Oits dilapidated condition, you are likely to end up with a pile of fire wood. OThe simple grid of multipliers and products brings back memories of 3rd grade. O"1 X 1 = 1; 2 X 2 = 4; 4 X 4 = 10" (Must be written in Hexadecimal) OThe gentle breeze cools your fevered brow. Nice try. At least you won't get aOhernia turning a little scrap of paper. But I'm getting board by all this O"turning" business. OIt has seen a lot of use. Its heavy oak top has gouges from many a tool. OI tell you, you're bucking for one prime hernia trying to twist around Osomething this massive. OThis is a perfectly ordinary magicians table, as magicians tables go. Maybe a Olittle TOO perfectly ordinary. It has the required black velvet draping, felt Osquare on top, and golden symbols - like some almost familiar language - Odecorating the hem. OAt first you can't make out the meaning of the hem's decorations. Then as you Ostart walking around to the other side of the table, it hits you...Its Owritten upside down. Clumsily standing on your head, you make out the Orepeating legend, "..ACEPRIZEDPOSSIONONTABLEPLACEPRIZEDPOSSIONONTABLEPL..." OTugging on the draping, felt square and the table itself do no good, somehow itOalmost seems able to actively resist your attempts to move it. OThe table obligingly starts to spin and bob merrily, emitting little puffs of Owhiffle dust and tinkling like a set of miniature sleigh bells. After a few Oseconds, the dance ends and you see that nothing has changed. OYou push and poke, then decide to put your back into it. You shove mightily onOthe table edge, but a sudden pain in your back convinces you to stop. OSeems to have been a book of fairy tales. OLooking at the index you see entries such as: O"SNOW WHITE AND THE 1001 ARABIAN KNIGHTS MEET HEY DIDDLE DIDDLE, THE CAT AND OTHE FIDDLE" (I hate sequels and spin offs, don't you?) OClose examination reveals it to be a cheap plaster statue with one chipped ear.OIt is a professional quality reel-to-reel machine. OIt is set on 15 IPS (inches per second). OIT is a wee tad difficult to play the thing without a tape. OA simple yet tasteful setting - a single, faceted stone in a 4 prong base. OIt is a simple little device to forward important messages to you. OThere are no messages for you at this time. OA wet suit and Self Contained Underwater Breathing Apparatus with full tanks. O"AMITY SURPLUS" OIt seems to be waiting for you to make a move. OFor some reason the spotlight doesn't seem to work. You see that it is hard- Owired into the wall. A quick check with your wetted fingers shows that there Ois power in the line. You then notice a small lid on top of the spot. OIt seems to take a standard size bulb. OI don't want to talk about it. I'm on a diet. Luckily, you're only a Ofictional character in a computer game. You don't have to worry about things Olike that. Enjoy! OThe water churns and boils as it rushes along. You cannot tell how deep it is Oor where it goes after disappearing under the wall. OA beautiful sight. Through the rainbow colors of the oil slick, you see the Oreflection of the next room under the West wall. You can wade there easily. OThe water churns and boils as it rushes along. You cannot tell how deep it is Oor where it comes from before appearing from under the wall. OA beautiful sight. You can see the hall you came through reflected in the oil Oslick on the puddle of water. You will have no trouble walking right through. OIt seems to be part of a play set in France during the early days of OWorld War I. You can make out a few of the lines. O"SEND A DOG UP IN A CRATE LIKE THAT? NOT UNTIL MAKING THE CATWALK PART WAY!" OThe window is not locked. It would be large enough to crawl through, but a fewOdetermined tugs show you that it is stuck tight. Looking through, you can see Othe widely-spaced steel beams that make up the grid over the stage. OThis might be a prop left over from a spy drama - or maybe it's the real thing.OOh, no you don't! If you read it, it won't be a secret any more. OYep, that looks official alright, and it's neatly lettered. O"DO NOT READ THIS SIGN" (You obviously have little respect for authority.) OIf you can believe everything else that's happened, you can believe this too. OIt is a typical inscrutable saying. O"YOUR FORTUNE MAY RIDE ON YOUR WEIGHT." Must be for some sumo wrestler. OIt appears to be a note the janitor wrote to remind himself about something. O"REMEMBER TO GET THE HACKSAW FROM THE SAFETY VALVE AND FIX IT SOME DAY BEFORE OSOMEONE BLOWS THAT #~}/@! BOILER." (Bet I know where you're going!) OHot, rusty steam hisses and spurts toward your eyes, threatening to blind you. OIt looks strong enough to hold your weight (maybe). OIt is fine grained and has no knot holes. OThe once mighty capacitor filament is but a charred stump. This is an ex-bulb.OIt doesn't seem to actually be locked. You just can't open it without a knob. O"WOMENS DRESSING ROOM" OYou can't seem to get a grip on it. OThe door holds firm. OIt is a substantial door with a substantial double cylinder dead bolt lock. OThere is an official looking plaque on the front of the door. O"JANITORS CLOSET" OTugging on the $NOUN$ does no good OYou fiddle with the $NOUN$ till your wrists hurt, but it holds firm. OBashing the door with everything from your feet to your head does no good. OYou did such a good job propping the door open it will never be closed again. OYou can still get some milage out of a 6 inch hotdog. OIt looks like a pirate chest. Something thumps around inside when you move it.OThere is a small plaque on the door at eye level. OIt opens easily at your touch. OA gentle tug shows that it opens away from you. You then push it open. OThe handle turns easily, allowing you to open the door. OAmazingly, the machine seems to still be operational. There is a coin slot, Otwo back-lit message panels (both of which are lighted), and the small ledge Owhere the sodas would come out. OThe first panel still reads, "Soft Drinks - 25 cents" The second is flashing,O"Recycling Ordinance - SIGN for Drink" OYou push the selection button, but the machine only buzzes spitefully and Oflickers the second panel. OYou can walk right out into the back alley. O"Through these portals pass the biggest hams in the world." Anon. OThe trumpet is in amazingly good condition. By the style, you decide it was Oprobably made over 3,000 years ago and used by ancient armies as they sieged Oand attacked walled cities. You always were such a good music historian. OIt is made of a stack of heavy metal bars, bolted together and pulled up and Odown by cables. It has a broad upper surface with a small hollow. OAs your fingers touch the organ stop labelled "4", you hear a scraping sound Obehind you. Twisting around on the organ bench you see that a small panel has Oopened in the wall behind you and is already starting to re-close. Hastily youOturn to vault over the bench but only succeed in falling in a heap, jamming Oyour head between the wall and the almost-closed panel. This, however, stops Oits forward motion allowing you to pry it back enough to free your bruised Oscalp and crawl unceremoniously through before it once more hisses shut. ONothing happens when you utter the word. You are so embarrased you try to hideObehind a small rock outcropping. Suddenly, the sand underfoot starts to funnelOaway under your weight, and you find yourself sliding down through a narrow Ofissure into a familiar basement hallway. Your companion follows. OSince you asked so nicely, I'll let you go back to the collapsed room. OTo your surprise, the door opens easily. In your eagerness, you race forward Oat full speed, but run into a solid barrier where thin air should be and are Ohurled back into the room. Dabbing at your bloodied nose, you get up and go Oover to see what type of force field you encountered. Only then do you notice Othat the Stairway is only a well-done painting and the entire door assembly is Oa set piece left over from some show. OSorry, I just can't permit that. You've done enough damage around here as it Ois. Who knows what would happen if you were to try lifting that blade again. OYou start briskly climbing the ladder, but about 20 feet up you realize what Oacrophobia is all about. After clinging to the ladder helplessly for a few Ohours, your arms finally give out and you fall back to the stage below. OAfter several attempts you manage to $VERB$ it enough to get through. You Oenter the little room ahead and after waiting a second for your eyes to adjust Oto the light, you find yourself in a small, dim office. OA gentle tug causes the coat to slip slightly to one side. Through the Oeruption of moths you see that the coat is covering a doorway North. Pushing Othe coat to the side like a drape, you go through. OAs you bolt for the doorway, the world shimmers from view and you experience a Osensation not unlike that which you felt when you rode a drunken bull elephant Odown Alameda Street in Beautiful Downtown Burbank last July wearing only the Oepaulets and scabbard from your Order of the Most Esteemed Aardvarks Lodge Oceremonial uniform, playing your uncle's Ukranian raisin-bladder bagpipe and Oyodelling the dirty version of Supercalifragilisticexpialidosious in protest ofODisney's not releasing FANTASIA on videotape. Thought I didn't know about Othat, did you? I have ways of finding these things out. Anyway, when the Oworld un-shimmers, you find yourself in a new location. Whoopee, big surprise.OA few dozen rungs down the ladder, you suddenly realize just how long a drop 80Ofeet is and cautiously crawl back up to the grid. OYou dance and leap on your toes, but are unable to reach the cable. Just when Oyou are about to give up, you recall a stunt you saw in a movie. Taking off Oyour belt, you whip it upward in your best Indiana Jones style. Amazingly, as Oin the movie, the tip of the belt wraps itself three times around the frayed Ocable and catches securely. (Aren't you glad I saw that movie too?) Summoning Oall your strength, you start hand over hand up the belt and cable until you Oreach the doors at the top of the shaft and swing yourself over to safety. OFeeling the need to gather your wits (such as they are) about you, you sit backOdown for a moment to collect your thoughts. After mulling over your situation Oand coming up with a blank, you get back up. The seat bottom again retracts. END OF FILEup with a blank, you get back up. The seat bottom again retracts.