Category : A Collection of Games for DOS and Windows
Archive   : DILEM2.ZIP
Filename : DUDLEY.D$$

. >> Temporary data file of strings for AGT << ¼pÖÿ , ,…_*DUDLEY*¼oWˆ¼W2 ,
OAt the sound of your voice, the door gives a sudden quiver and springs open!
OAt the sound of your voice, the door gives a sudden quiver and slams shut!
OYou hold the glass under the drip until it is full.
OYou pour the water on the begonia. Suddenly, the plant begins to shudder and
Oshake, while a distinct green tinge sweeps over it. Within minutes a grateful
Ogreen plant stands before you!
OWhen you $VERB$ the flower, it crumbles into nothingness!
OYou open the umbrella.
OYou close the umbrella.
OYou turn the faucet on, but nothing happens at first. Then, with a hissing
Orush, a shiny object flies past your head, followed by filthy scalding water
Owhich cascades onto you, blistering your skin and cooking you alive.
OYou turn the faucet on, but nothing happens at first.
OThen with a loud THUMP, something strikes the umbrella and lands at your feet,
Ofollowed by a cascade of filthy scalding water which runs harmlessly off the
Oumbrella and down the drain. You fumble to turn off the faucet, and after a
Ofew seconds the water trickles to a halt. You give the faucet a powerful
Otwist to make sure it stays off.
O
O** The flashlight seems to be getting dimmer! **
O
O
O** The flashlight is definitely much dimmer now. **
O
O
O** The flashlight fades to a dull orange. **
O
O
O** The flashlight sputters and goes out! **
O
OYou turn the $NOUN$ on.
OYou turn the $NOUN$ off.
OAs you $VERB$ the curtain, there is a sudden flash and you find yourself in
Oa vast, fog-filled area, swept by cold winds and eerie noises. Something
Ounseen keeps singing over and over "twit twit twit, jug jug jug."
O
OSuddenly, you are confronted by a terrifying apparition: a headless ghost!
OYou turn to flee, but the curtain has disappeared! The ghostly figure turns
Oslowly toward you and a disembodied voice intones,
O
O "I think we are in rat's alley
O Where the dead men lost their bones."
O
OThe ghost smiles grimly at your answer. He swells to twice your height and
Oturns a vivid red, but after a second he merely waves his hand angrily in
Oyour direction and, with a 'POOF', you find yourself back in the hallway.
OA second later the flashlight comes sailing through the curtain and hits you
Oon the head.
O
O
O ** POOF **
O The spirit of Miss Manners appears above your head!
O
O "For shame," she says. "Do you kiss your mother with that mouth!?"
O
OThe elevator doors slide open, and you step in.
OThe doors slide shut behind you.
O
OThe light next to button #VAR2# lights up, and you step through the doors.
O
OA security guard suddenly enters the room. He eyes you suspiciously and
Oasks to see your Dudley House ID card.
OPaul senses that you're up to no good and grabs you firmly by the collar.
OYou are escorted to the front door and deposited outside without further ado.
O
OMike looks at the card and then stares at you intently. It's obvious that
Ohe suspects something, but he finally hands the card back to you and leaves
Othe room muttering.
OMike isn't interested in your idle chatter. He wants to see your ID.
OYou $VERB$ Mike, and he turns beet-red and shoves his hands deep into his
Opockets. It's clear that you've embarrassed him tremendously.
OMike won't let you touch a thing!
OThe silverfish sniffs cautiously at the revolting mess, but seems to find
Oit acceptable. Quickly the huge bug slurps down the soup, then turns its
Oattention back to the main course (you).
O
OSuddenly, its entire body goes rigid and begins to smoke. Within seconds the
Osilverfish bursts into flame and is consumed completely! You shake your head,
Oremembering your own experience with Chinese peppers.
OAs you carefully ignore the woman's existence, she begins to calm down. After
Oa few minutes she walks away, flapping at students who pass too close to her.
OThe woman interprets your attempts at friendly conversation as the rudest
Oform of personal familiarity. She flaps her newspaper furiously and snarls
O"Eat worms and die, dirtball!"
O"Vile spawn of Satan, I rebuke thee!"
O"May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your nose hair!"
O"Back off, wormbreath! I'm wise to your tricks!"
O"Pervert! Pervert!"
O"Come any closer, dogface, and you're dead meat!"
OThe woman avoids your attack, and whacks you on the head with
Oher purse. Her voice goes up several decibels as she shouts
OThe $OBJECT$ sniffs briefly at the noxious mess, then cocks an eye at you
Oaccusingly and ignores your offering with utter contempt.
OThe $OBJECT$ sniffs the wine cautiously, then gulps some down and gives off a
Omighty hiccup.
OThe woman notices you staring at her and immediately begins flapping
Oa small piece of torn newspaper in your direction. When you continue
Oto stare, she redoubles her efforts and yells furiously,
OThe dead flower has no smell.
OThe flower smells rich and sweet, almost like cinnamon.
OGreat! Now you can see the $OBJECT$ MUCH more clearly!
OYou are distracted by loud, contented cooing. The pigeon is overjoyed to be
Ooutside again. Suddenly it sees the statue of John Harvard! It gives a joyful
Osquawk and darts between your legs, flapping its wings mightily. With a
Ofarewell glance in your direction, it soars into the air and glides off to
Ojoin its feathered friends. A lone feather drifts down to the ground, the
Oonly memento of your erstwhile companion.
O
OYou begin to $VERB$ the $NOUN$, but you are suddenly distracted by a loud
Oflapping noise coming from the fireplace. A cloud of soot billows into the
Oroom, followed by the scruffiest looking pigeon you've ever seen.
O
OThe pigeon suddenly spots the giant silverfish. With a terrified squawk, it
Oleaps into your arms and hides there, shivering uncontrollably.
OThe pigeon, emboldened by your success, flutters down from your arms and
Ostruts around the room, flapping its wings and cooing loudly.
O
OThe pigeon looks pleadingly at you, but you thrust the terrified bird at the
Osilverfish. The loathsome bug sniffs tentatively at your offering, and then
Ogobbles down the poor creature without further ado. The silverfish then gives
Oa loud belch and slinks off into the darkness, presumably to sleep off its
Omeal.
O
OYou feel a moment's sadness for your actions, but the desire to leave before
Othe silverfish returns overcomes your grief.
OThe pigeon, which has been hiding behind you since you dropped it, sidles out
Ointo the room, peering about cautiously. Seeing no immediate danger, it
Ostruts about, flapping its wings and cooing loudly.
O
OThe pigeon wants no part of that chimney again! It coos sadly after you as
Oyou climb upwards.
OThe faithful pigeon is still here, waiting for you. It coos happily to see
Oyou again.
OIt might help if you turned the flashlight on!
O
OALUMNUS: "How can I cut my steak with these useless plastic knives?! Why
O don't you get some decent silverware around this place?"
O
OHELEN: "Sorry dear, but that's all we have."
O
OALUMNUS: "Well it's not good enough!"
O
OHELEN: "So get yourself a Boy Scout kit. Now, let's be a nice man and move
O along. There are people in line behind you."
O
OALUMNUS: "I'm not budging until I get some decent silverware, and neither is
O anyone else!!"
O
OYou reach over and hand the sharp knife to the alumnus. He looks at you with
Osurprise, and then smiles warmly. He uses the knife to slice his steak into
Otwo portions, and gives you the larger half. You refuse at first, but he
Oinsists! He then pays for his meal and wanders off into the dining hall.
O
OHelen gives you the thumbs up, as the line resumes its sluggish pace.
O
OYou are rewarded with a soft 'CREEAAK' from behind the statue!
O
OGlancing around to make sure no one is watching, you squeeze yourself into
Othe corner between the statue and the wall and discover that a panel in the
Opedestal has opened, revealing a dark stairway leading down!
O
OThe $NOUN$ isn't interested in your sudden hormonal impulses.
OThere is a soft 'CREEAAK' from behind the statue as the panel closes.
OHow odd! Smells exactly like any other $NOUN$.
OThe wine has a full bouquet, poised gracefully between the smoky quality of
Oa fine Madeira and the delicate insinuation of well-aged Amontillado. There
Oare traces of ozone around the edges, and just a hint of lemon mousse in the
Oback of the nose.
OPhew!! The odor is enough to gag a camel!
OYou slip in the dark, and your head strikes something hard.
OYou put the $NOUN$ into your mouth and swallow. After a few seconds you begin
Oto sweat, and your vision blurs. You slip slowly to your knees, and your
Othroat closes. You gasp unsuccessfully for air.
OEat the $NOUN$?! You seem to be unclear on the concept of food.
OSuddenly the door opens and the librarian walks in, carrying a pool cue.
OYou replace the book on the shelf, and the librarian loses interest in you.
OAfter giving the student at the computer a few hints about how to kill the
Osilverfish, he drifts out the door and back to the game room.
OYou get the librarian's attention and ask to borrow the book. After checking
Oyour ID, he signs the book out to you, smudging it with billiard chalk in the
Oprocess and then, shouldering his pool cue, ambles out the door and back to
Ohis true vocation.
OYou plug the flashlight in and recharge it.
OThe flashlight doesn't need to be recharged (yet).
OGuess you'd better find someplace to plug it in!
OYou quickly dash off a spirited rendition of Beethoven's fifth, and blush at
Othe enthusiastic round of applause from the listeners.
OThe conundrum says,
OI'd save my breath if I were you.
OThe $OBJECT$ could care less about the $NOUN$.
OOh, great! What kind of upbringing did YOU have?
OAs you hold out the flower, Mrs J and Mrs Handy both stop what they are doing
Oand admire it gratefully. They fetch a vase from the closet, and soon your
Ogift is resting on the window sill, cheering up the room considerably.
O
OMrs Handy gives you a hug. Mrs J pats your hand and gives you a small steel
Okey, which she says "may be useful." Almost immediately, the phones start
Oringing off the hook, and they settle back to work.
OYou $VERB$ the door with the steel key.
OAs you begin to enter the door, one of the students yells at you,
O"Hey! I'm next! Wait your turn."
OThe secretaries smile at you but refuse your gift. Perhaps if they thought
Oyou were a Dudley House student...
OThe librarian examines the book, then takes it from you and replaces it on the
Oshelf. After giving the student at the computer a few hints about how to kill
Othe silverfish, he drifts out the door and back to the game room.
OThe $OBJECT$ seems appropriately impressed with your Dudley House membership.
OI don't suppose YOU would like to eat the $NOUN$??
OThe flashlight must be ON to be recharged.
OYou can't $VERB$ ANYthing!
OPaul Hanson enters the room and nods to you.
OCynthia Hanson enters the room and says hello.
OYou have a pleasant chat with the $NOUN$, mostly about the tragic nature of
Othe Red Sox.
OYou drop the coin in the slot and a small conundrum rolls out.
OQUESTION: When is a door not a door?
OANSWER: When it's ajar.
OQUESTION: What goes up the chimney down but not down the chimney up?
OANSWER: An umbrella.
OQUESTION: What is priceless but, if given away, will often be returned?
OANSWER: Love
OQUESTION: What goes on 4 legs at dawn, 2 legs at noon, 3 legs at dusk?
OANSWER: A man.
OThe ghost snatches the flashlight away from you and smiles hollowly.
O"If you want to walk in light," he intones, "answer me this: What did
Othe Thunder say?"
OYou drop the $NOUN$, but suddenly a huge rat runs into the room, grabs it,
Oand scurries away.
OYou drop everything, but suddenly a huge rat runs into the room, grabs it all,
Oand scurries away.
OMike senses that you're up to no good and grabs you firmly by the collar.
OYou are escorted to the front door and deposited outside without further ado.
O
OPaul Hanson enters the room and frowns at you. He obviously wonders what you
Oare doing in his office without permission. Perhaps you'd better leave.
OYou stagger slightly from the fumes and wander about aimlessly for a while
Ountil your head clears.
OThe students notice you and invite you to join their pot-luck. You quickly
Ocheck your possessions to see if you have anything to contribute to the meal.
OYou place the steak on the table, but your gift is greeted with a gasp of
Ohorror! The offending piece of flesh is whisked out of sight, and you are
Oseized by several militant vegetarians who escort you back to the basement.
OAfter deducting 5 points from your score, they close the door behind them,
Oand you hear a distinct 'CLICK.'
O
OYou hand the corn to one student, and he quickly prepares it. After toasting
Oyour health, they serve you a heaping plate of salad and steamed vegetables,
Owhich you enjoy immensely. All this running around has left you famished!
O
OThe dinner conversation turns quickly to the Olympics, and the recent gold
Omedal in swimming won by one of the residents. Later, someone tells you
Oabout Damon Paine, who dropped into the Co-op for Thanksgiving dinner and
Ostayed for twelve years. You promise to leave right after the meal, which
Oseems to make everyone happier, and one by one they drift away, leaving you
Oalone amid the dirty dishes and debris.
O
OYou see nothing unusual.
OAs you begin to enter the door, one of the students yells at you,
O"Hey! I'm next! Wait your turn." When you show him the appointment slip,
Ohe looks at it with surprise, and then sits down muttering under his breath.
OYou open the door and enter.
O
OYou tell John that you're not really sure what you're doing here. He nods and
Oreassures you that neither does anyone else! He then asks to see your study
Ocard. When you can't produce one, he reminds you that today is the deadline.
O"Go to University Hall and get a study card," he says. "It has to be turned
Oin today at Mem Hall." You find yourself ushered out the door.
O
OJohn looks at you. "Got your study card?" You admit that you don't and he
Oglances at his watch. "Better hurry." He turns back to work and you leave.
O
OYou show the study card to John, and he looks at it carefully before signing.
O"Heroes for Zeros, hmm?!" He looks at you with new respect. After fumbling
Oin his pocket for a minute, he asks you for a pen.
O
OYou dip the feather into the bottle of ink.
OJohn looks at the feather quizzically and then hands it back to you. I don't
Othink he gets your drift.
OJohn smiles at your ingenuity and then takes the quill and signs your study
Ocard with a flourish. He hands you the card and the quill and then sees you
Oto the door. As you leave, he takes the appointment slip: "You won't be
Oneeding this anymore. Now take your card to Mem Hall before you forget."
O
OJohn shoos you away from the things on his desk.
OThe statue is covered with pigeon droppings. Quod pretium veritas?
OThe administrator is too busy applying red tape to his paperwork to pay any
Oattention to you.
OWhat's the holdup? Pay the administrator's price. I know you've got it!
OYou give the pound of flesh to the administrator, who weighs it carefully and
Ofiles it away in a cabinet. He hands you the study card, escorts you to the
Ofront door, and waves goodbye as you leave.
O
OYou stumble into a passing student and are immediately trampled by hordes of
Olawyers who want to represent the injured party in a liability suit.
O
OTime passes...
OSomewhere near the front of the line you hear a muffled scream. You strain
Oto see what has happened, but too many people are in your way. Soon the
Oword drifts back, "unsigned card." You cringe in sympathy.
O
OTime passes...
OA cheer goes up! Someone made it!! "Only her third try," says an amazed
Ovoice.
O
OTime passes...
OA scuffle breaks out ahead of you. Someone who tried to cut in line is
Obeaten severely and cast out of the building.
O
OYou have arrived! The registrar looks at your card and then says, with
Obarely concealed contempt, "This card is unsigned. You must have your
Osenior tutor's signature." She hands you the card and motions to the exit.
O"Next."
O
OYou enter the line. It seems a mile long.
OYou have arrived! The registrar looks at your card and then files it in a
Olarge box. You breathe a sigh of relief. As you leave the building, you
Ohear another chorus of groans from behind you.
O
OYou have arrived! The registrar asks for your card. When you can't produce
Oone, she glares at you with barely concealed contempt and says, "Next."
OYou slink out of the building in disgrace.
O
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O TITLE SEARCH: The Hedge Hunter's Guide ³°°
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OYou drop the $NOUN$ into the slot.
OSeems pretty obvious to me. It's the book return.
OYou hear a voice from inside the library: "Hey, here's that damn book I told
Oyou to get rid of. Now we'll have to take it off the 'MISSING' list."
OAnother voice replies, "No way! Just shelve it under Abnormal Psychology."
OThe screen goes blank.
OYou hear a voice from inside the library: "Look here! Some bozo just shoved
Othis $ADJECTIVE$ $NOUN$ through the return slot."
OAnother voice replies, "Cretin! Can't win the game like that."
OYou need help?? What's the matter? Can't cut it?
OSorry. No littering allowed.
OYou hear a voice from inside the library: "Look here! Some bozo just shoved
Othis DUDLEY LIBRARY book through the return slot."
OAnother voice replies, "Cretin! Can't win the game like that."
OYou drink the water down in a single swallow. After a few seconds you begin
Oto sweat, and your vision blurs. You slip slowly to your knees, and your
Othroat closes. You gasp unsuccessfully for air.
O
OThe administrator stares at you coolly. "You need a study card, eh? Let me
Ocheck your status." He asks your name, then opens a large file cabinet.
O
OAfter several seconds he looks back at you and clucks his tongue.
O"There's a red tag on your file! You haven't paid your term bill."
O
OWhen you look uncomfortable, he smiles and says, "Come, come. Harvard
Odemands its pound of flesh. We're a business too, you know."
OHe looks at you expectantly.
O
OUniversity Hall is closed.
OYou drink the water down in a single swallow.
OThe wine is delicious, and there's lots more!
ODrink the $NOUN$?! I suppose you put motor oil on your pancakes, too.
OAs you pry the $NOUN$ from the dead fingers, the skeleton crumbles to dust!
OYou are in a bureaucratic maze. There is an administrator here, being busy.
OYou hoist the knife, but as you try to cut through the mountain of red tape,
Othe administrator looks at you in horror. He then grabs you firmly by the
Oarm and pitches you out of the building!
O
OYou notice a study card in the administrator's hand.
OYou $VERB$ the gate with the iron key.
OYou turn the $NOUN$ to 8. There is a sharp CLICK, and something slides out
Oof the dial, landing at your feet!
OYou turn the $NOUN$ to $OBJECT$, but nothing happens.
OThe party animal spots the pass a second before you, and says, "Far out! A
Osubway pass! Hey, do you like trivia?? What was the name of the guy who
Ogot stuck on the MTA? You know, the Man Who Never Returned?"
OThe party animal shouts, "RIGHT! Great song! The Kingston Trio was my most
Ofavorite group for years, but then I got into the Troggs and..."
OHe goes on talking for so long that your eyes begin to cross.
O
OWhen you re-focus, he has wandered off in search of another victim, but the
Opass is on the floor at your feet.
O
OYou try to enter the subway, but an MBTA guard asks for your pass.
OYou show your pass to the guard, and descend the stairs.
O
OWith an ear-splitting screech, the Red Line arrives, and you step into the
Ofirst car.
OThe panhandler tells you an unbelievable story about being trapped in the
Osubway for years, and presses you for a nickel. He is definitely a nut case!
OYou give the $NOUN$ to the panhandler, and his face lights up. He wrings
Oyour hand gratefully and stammers incoherent thanks.
O
OSeconds later the train pulls to a halt, and he disappears through the open
Odoor. You exit a moment later, but he is already gone. The doors close
Obehind you and the Red Line car squeals out of the station.
O
OWith an ear-splitting screech, the Red Line arrives, and you step into the
Ofirst car. After several minutes of jolting and swaying, the train pulls to
Oa halt, and you exit. The doors close behind you and the Red Line squeals out
Oof the station.
O
OYou finally wander into a nicer area and enter a large, domed building.
O
OYou finally wander into a nicer area.
O"...and when the Sheriff got there, all the children wuz snug in their beds
Olike nothing had happened at all. 'Course, had he looked under Wendy's bed,
Ohe would have found the Hairball and realized that ole Miz Stewart wuz tellin'
Othe truth all along. But since he didn't, and since Miz Stewart wuz never
Oseen again, the children lived happily ever after. And my tale is told."
O"...but the Princess didn't believe the huntsman, and when she opened up that
Obox the Gnomon leapt out and gobbled her down, merkin and all! The wigmaker
Owas let free from the dungeon that very same day, and he and his niece lived
Ohappily ever after. And my tale is told."
O"...so the yuppie called his broker that very same afternoon and told him
Owhat he had heard at the tennis club. Well, wouldn't you know it...when
Othe two of them cashed in their gold futures, and diversified the resulting
Ocapital between multiple income debentures and high-yield defense bonds, the
OSEC come down on them like a high wind outta Jamaica. They're in Lompoc to
Othis very day! And my tale is told."
OYou $VERB$ the knob to $OBJECT$, and the doohickey starts to hum softly.
OSuddenly a ghostly blue light surrounds it, and the strange machine vanishes!
OYou $VERB$ the knob to $OBJECT$, and the doohickey starts to hum softly.
OSuddenly a ghostly blue light envelops you, but you are protected by the
Osunblock! Your surroundings get blurry and you feel slightly nauseous.
OYou clutch the machine tighter as the room does a cartwheel. After a moment
Oyou shake your head and look around.
O
OUh oh! A mean-looking skinhead steps out of an alley in front of you.
OYou hurl the zero at the skinhead. As soon as it touches him, he begins to
Ochange! His body shrinks and smokes, and he rapidly dwindles away as he
Owhines, "Aaahhh!! I'm melting! I'm melting!" Soon all that's left is a
Osmudge on the pavement.
OA strange blue light emanates from one corner of the lab, and suddenly a
Ocomplicated doohickey appears!
ONothing significant happens, though the doohickey glows for a moment.
OYou $VERB$ the knob to $OBJECT$, and the doohickey starts to hum softly.
OSuddenly a ghostly blue light envelops you! Your surroundings get blurry
Oand you feel very nauseous. Your skin starts to itch, then to peel! Within
Oseconds you are fried to a crisp!
O"You can only borrow one book at a time," the librarian sighs deeply, "but
Oyou can exchange books if you really want to."
OThe librarian looks at you with withering scorn, but he makes the necessary
Ochanges. He hands you the new book, and walks out the door.
OJust take one item at a time, please.
OThe librarian looks at you with withering scorn, but he makes the necessary
Ochanges. He hands you the new book, and waits for you to borrow it.
OThe librarian checks the book to make sure that you haven't pulled a switch,
Othen heads back to his much-interrupted pool game.
OYou scramble over the fence.
O
OYou can't smell ANYthing with the nose plug on!
OThe nose plug filters out just enough of the fumes to keep your head from
Ospinning, and you walk swiftly to the $VERB$.
O
OSplash!! You dive into the Charles River, but unfortunately you inhale too
Omuch water, and succumb almost immediately to 6 different strains of toxic
Obacteria!
OSplash!! You dive into the Charles River. Fortunately the nose plug closes
Oimmediately and you avoid inhaling any water.
O
OYou take a deep breath through your mouth and plunge beneath the surface.
O
OYou can't go swimming while your hands are full!
OUh oh! You shouldn't have taken your nose plug out! Water rushes into your
Onostrils, and you splutter your last.
OSplash!! The $NOUN$ lands in the Charles and sinks slowly from sight.
OYou try to $VERB$ the $NOUN$, but it slips from your fingers in the ooze.
OYou need at least ONE hand to swim!
OSuddenly the air is filled with hundreds of vampire bats which descend on you
Oand drain you white as a ghost!
O
OSuddenly the angry ram turns the corner and charges! Before you can think, it
Ogrinds you to hamburger!
O
OYou give a WHISTLE!
OYou give a STOMP!
OYou duck into the hedge maze but the ram is close behind you.
O ÚÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ¿
O N ³ MAZE MAP ³ EXIT 
O  ÀÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÙ °
O WÄúÄE \
O  °ÄÄÄ° Û  HERE
O S / ³
O °ÄÄÄ° °
O ³ /³
O °ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ°ÄÄÄ° ³
O /³ \³
O / ° °
O °
O ° \ °ÄÄÄ°
O /³ ° ° /³ ³\
O / ³ /³ ³\ / ³ ° °
O HERE  Û °ÄÄÄÄ° ° °Ä°ÄÄ° ° \³
O / \ °
O °ÄÄ° / ° ³
O \ / ³ ³
O °ÄÄÄÄÄÄ°ÄÄÄÄÄ°ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ°
O  ENTER
OYou fill the glass with Charles River water. I hope you're not going to drink
Othis stuff!!
OYou pour the water on the plant. Suddenly it gives a tremendous spasm and
Oturns a sickly green! In its death throes, it manages to thrash you to
Oribbons.
O"It's nice to talk with someone," the scarecrow says. "You wouldn't believe
Ohow boring it gets out here in the sun and rain, all day and all night, with
Oonly the birds for company."
O
OHe flicks a feather from his shoulder and continues, "Mind you, there's been
Oone pigeon who's been downright helpful to me by chasing off the crows when
OI'm asleep. Strange looking bird, though. All covered with soot. Still, you
Ocan't judge a bird by its plumage, I always say."
O
OYou try to get a word in edgewise, but the scarecrow interrupts you with a
Oquestion, "Say, you wouldn't happen to have something to protect me from the
Osun, would you? It gets awfully hot out here this time of year."
O"Would you mind very much opening it for me? It's a bit difficult with
Ostraw fingers. Thanks."
OYou adjust the umbrella above the scarecrow's head, and he clamps down on it
Owith his arm.
O
O"Say, this is the life!" he says. "Thanks so much." He pauses for a moment,
Othen looks sheepish.
O
O"You've been so nice, I hate to ask...but do you think you could get me a
Odrink of water? It's been ages since it rained, and I'm parched."
OThe scarecrow thanks you again for the umbrella but reminds you about the
Owater. "Could you hurry with it, please? I'm really awfully thirsty."
OThe scarecrow can't stop expressing his gratitude! Embarrassed by his
Opraise, you scuff your feet and look down at the ground.
OYou give the glass to the scarecrow. He thanks you profusely, but then takes
Oa closer look at the water. He sniffs it cautiously and looks at you with
Ocuriosity.
O
O"Do YOU drink this stuff?" he asks. He pours the water out and says, "You
Oreally ought not to drink untreated water out of the Charles! It could stunt
Oyour development." He hands the glass back to you and, with great courtesy,
Oasks for some GOOD water.
OYou give the glass to the scarecrow. He thanks you profusely, and then drinks
Othe water down in a single gulp. He cries "Mazeltov!" and hurls the glass to
Othe ground where it smashes into a thousand pieces. When you stare at the
Oremains, he clears his throat. "Family custom," he explains.
O
OHe then plucks the largest, plumpest ear of corn within reach and presents it
Oto you with a flourish. "A gift for all your kindnesses. Live long and may
Oyour path be ever free from pigeons."
O"We've got enough wine, thanks. Do you have anything to eat?"
OYou aren't hungry enough to eat raw $NOUN$.
OA queer old Dean walks up to you and stares at you intently.
OThe Dean peers at you more closely. "Aren't you the student who hissed all
Omy mystery lectures...I mean, missed all my history lectures last fall?"
O
OWhen you assure the Dean that you would never do anything so rude, he thaws
Oa bit. "Well, I'm glad to hear it. Such behavior can really deal one's ego
Oa blushing crow...that is, a crushing blow."
O
OHe glances at your possessions and spots the study card. "Ah, signing up for
Oclasses, are you? May I see?"
OYou hand the study card to the Dean. He looks it over and mumbles "Heroes for
OZeros. Is THAT course still popular?!" He shakes his head.
O
OAfter turning the study card over a few times, he hands it back to you.
O"Interesting selection," he says. "I'm glad to see that you aren't tasting
Oyour entire worm like some students. Well, I must be off." He shuffles out
Oof sight as you stare speechless at his retreating form.
O
OYou touch the Dean on the sleeve and show him the sturdy cad. He peers from
Oit to you several times and then apologizes profusely. "So sorry! I don't
Oknow what to do about this little problem of mine. It's gone beyond the merely
Overbal and now seems to affect even the objects I touch. It's really quite
Odistressing! A rare hazing exp...I mean, a hair raising experience! Here, let
Ome see if I can set things right."
O
OHe takes the sturdy cad and manipulates it for a full minute. When he hands it
Oback to you it has once more become a study card. He walks off mumbling to
Ohimself.
O
OYou hand the bass tracks to the Dean, and he looks at them with interest.
O"Most curious. Obviously the spoor of a low-bellied Centrarchidae. Haven't
Oseen such a specimen for years."
O
OHe gazes at them intently for a few seconds and then hands them back to you.
O
O"Well, enjoy your time at Harvard. Don't spend ALL your time studying. Some
Oof the professors here are virtual slave drivers you know, regular tons of
Osoil...er, sons of toil." He waves good-bye, and strolls away.
OYou give the brass tacks to the workman, and he thanks you. He then calls
Oout to his friend, "Manny! C'mere and give me a hand with this carpet."
O
OManny strolls into the room carrying a mortarboard full of wet plaster and
Ostarts to set it on the floor. The workman immediately yells, "HEY! Don't
Oset that down here. We're gonna be covering that area in a few minutes."
O
OManny then hands the plaster to you and turns to help his friend. A second
Olater, someone outside yells, "Coffee break!" and the two disappear like
Omagic.
OA queer old Dean wanders by and nods to you.
OThe Dean refuses to go through all THAT again!
OYou are standing in a small room, staring at a dumbstruck adventure game
Oprogrammer! He looks at you with horror and then scrolls rapidly through
Ocountless lines of code on his computer screen.
O
O"Damndest bug I've ever seen," you hear him mutter. Just as you start to say
Osomething, he says, "AHA!" and starts typing furiously. "There. That ought
Oto fix it." He looks at you again and strikes his Return key. The room goes
Oblack and you experience a moment of vertigo.
O
OThe sharp sound of your alarm clock penetrates your consciousness, jolting
Oyou out of a deep sleep. You lay in bed for a moment trying to recapture
Othe dream you just had, but the harder you try, the quicker it fades away.
O
OSuddenly you sit upright as you remember something else! This is graduation
Oday! You roll out of bed just as your roommate's voice calls out, "OK, the
Obathroom's all yours. Time to shake a tower...oops, take a shower." For a
Omoment your dream almost comes back, but it fades again as you run for the
Obathroom.
O
OYou shower in record time and pull on your clothes. Your roommate has already
Oleft, wearing a rented cap and gown. You look around for yours.
OThis must be your rental cap, but somehow it has gotten covered with plaster!
OWhat a mess!
OThis is your tassel. Strange! You remember it being black, but somehow it is
Onow yellow.
OYou hold the mortarboard under the drip and scrub for several minutes. Finally
Oa black rental cap emerges from under the plaster. With more scrubbing, the
Oentire cap is soon clean and presentable.
OYou hook the yellow tassel to the mortarboard.
OYou adjust your cap and gown and rush out the door. As you walk through the
Oyard, you notice a woman in black flapping a newspaper at passing graduates.
OShe winks at you as you walk by and then turns to chat with an ancient alumnus
Owho is here for the ceremony. They seem to be laughing at the sight of a
Oscruffy, soot-covered pigeon perched atop the statue of John Harvard.
O
OYou arrive at the ceremony just in time and take your seat as the Hansons
Obegin giving out diplomas. Soon your name is called and you step to the stage.
O
OYou take the sheepskin from the masters and shake their hands. You nod to
Oeveryone on stage as you walk slowly to the side. Everyone is applauding,
Oand a few people are whistling and stomping!
O
O
O ²°² VNIVERSITAS HARVARDIANA ²°²
O
O
O Whereas,
O by diligent study and a distinguished display of skill, you have
O survived the Dudley Dilemma, you are hereby granted the degree of
O Master of Games and all the rights and honors pertaining to that
O rank.
O
O In testimony whereof the official seal has been appended to these
O letters on this day.
O
O ÛßßßßßÛ
O Û +++ Û
O \\ + //
O \\_//
O \_/
O
O
OYou can't read something you don't have.
OYou can't wear the mortarboard (yet).
OThis is version 1.2, dated 1/20/89.
OThe fence looks low enough to climb.
OSorry, the library is closed.
OYou attempt to smear the sunblock on the scarecrow, but he stops you.
O
O"Thanks for offering," he says, "but I'm allergic to coconut oil. Do you have
Oanything else?"
O -oOo- O OYou are in a large carpeted bedroom lined with bookshelves. You haven't a Oclue as to how you got here, or even where "here" is! But you do sense that Osome great task is expected of you. You have a vague recollection that you Oare a student at Dudley House, Harvard College, but even that fact seems fuzzy Oand uncertain. O OOutside a window on the south wall, you can hear the sounds of honking horns Oand muffled curses, but when you try to open the window, it refuses to budge. OSuddenly, you are seized with a desperate urge to find out where you are and Owhy you are here! O O O O O O O O O O O O O ÛÛßßÛ O ÛÛ Û O ÛÛßßÛ O O ÛÛßßÜ Û Û ÛÛßßÜ ÛÛ ÛÛßß ßÜ Üß O ÛÛ Û Û Û ÛÛ Û ÛÛ ÛÛÜ ßÜÜß O ÛÛÜÜß ßÜÜÜß ÛÛÜÜß ÛÛÜÜ ÛÛÜÜ ÛÛ O O O ÛÛßßÜ ÛÛ ÛÛ ÛÛßß ÛßÜ ÜßÛ ÛßÜ ÜßÛ ÛÛßßÛ O ÛÛ Û ÛÛ ÛÛ ÛÛÜ Û ß Û Û ß Û ÛÛ Û O ÛÛÜÜß ÛÛ ÛÛÜÜ ÛÛÜÜ Û Û Û Û ÛÛßßÛ O O O O O OThis is the bedroom. There are many bookshelves crammed with assorted junk. OA window on the south wall seems permanently sealed. There is an open door to Othe west and a curtain to the north which conceals a dark opening. OThe flashlight is one of the rechargeable kind that never seems to work when Oyou need it. The ghost clearly resents your interest in it, and tries to Oconceal it behind his back. O OA pair of ragged claws scuttles out from the fog, bites you on the ankles, Oand disappears. O OThe flashlight is one of the rechargeable kind that never seems to work when Oyou need it. It is off at the moment. OThe flashlight is one of the rechargeable kind that never seems to work when Oyou need it. It is presently on. OThe flashlight is one of the rechargeable kind that never seems to work when Oyou need it. This one is no exception. OYou are standing in a small, walk-in closet. There are clothes hanging Oeverywhere. You can exit to the south. OSomething is written on the paper. O A DUDLEY DILEMMA O Copr (c) 1988 by Lane Barrow O O Any similarity between characters in this game and O actual persons is completely and willfully intentional. O O Enjoy! O OThe umbrella is closed. OThe umbrella is open. OThere is an amazing amount of junk on top of the dresser. You paw through it Obut find nothing of interest. Perhaps there is something more useful inside. OYou are in a large, nicely-furnished living room. As in the bedroom, there are Onumerous shelves here, stacked with books and other interesting items. You Ocan exit to the north and east. O A radio is playing one of your favorite oldies. OYou seem to be in need of help. Hmmm... OThere's more than one way to leave a room. Just ask Santa. OThe radio is playing the old Drifters hit, "Up On The Roof." OThe calendar, a promo from Tommy's Lunch, is several years old. It shows a Owinter scene in Harvard Yard in which a group of students dressed like elves Oare vandalizing the statue of John Harvard. ODecember 25th is circled in red. OThe decanter is exquisitely crafted from cut crystal. OThe wine appears to be of the finest quality, with the rich amber undertones Oof well-aged sherry. The bouquet should be exceptional. OThe fireplace is filled with cinders and soot. It seems large enough for a Otall man to stand upright in. OThe fireplace is a tight squeeze, but there may be room to go up. The living Oroom is to the east. OYou can hardly breathe in here. Your claustrophobia seems to be getting the Obetter of you. The fireplace is below you, and there is a dim light coming Ofrom the northeast. OYou can hardly breathe in here. Your claustrophobia seems to be getting the Obetter of you. The chimney bends downward to the southwest, and there is a Odim light coming from the northwest. OYou can hardly breathe in here. Your claustrophobia seems to be getting the Obetter of you. The chimney bends downward to the southeast, and there is a Odim light coming from above. OYou are on the roof of Apley Court, where the tutorial staff of Dudley House Ois sunbathing in the nude. You are, of course, covered with soot and Ounrecognizable, so the tutors all ignore you completely. OThis is a bottle of Bain de Soleil, sunblock #99 (supernova protection). OThe lotion is a ghastly blue color and smells faintly of coconuts and almonds. OIt reminds you of a revoltingly sweet drink you once had at the Hong Kong Bar. OThis is an entryway of some kind with exits in all directions. OEver heard of Ali Baba? ORemember how he got into the den of the Forty Thieves? OThe door is locked, but there is no keyhole and no knob. Carved into the door Ois the name ALI BABA. OThe doorway seems to be held open by some magical force! OThe hallway is dimly lit, but you can make out a stairwell to the east and an Oopen doorway to the south. OThe curtain has an almost hypnotic affect on you. You seem drawn toward it, Oeven against your will. You reach out to touch it but pull back at the last Osecond, sensing some danger. OYou are in Rat's Alley. The bones of luckless adventurers litter the floor, Omingled with sawdust, oyster shells, and castoff quotations. OGuess you'd better brush up on 'The Waste Land.' OThis is a large stairwell with steps leading down. OThere is a hallway to the west. OYou are in a large, marble bathroom with antique fixtures. You can tell that Othis place has seen better days. OThere is a door to the east. OIt is difficult to examine the tub from here. Perhaps you should climb Ointo it. OYou are in an old-fashioned claw-footed bathtub. The ground-in grime and Oancient rust stains tell a sordid story. You imagine all sorts of horrid Othings that might have gone on here. OThis is the knob which controls the water flow, dummy! OThis is a skeleton key made of sturdy brass. It looks pretty much like any Oother skeleton key. OThis is a small coat closet which has been converted to a kitchenette. There Oare all manner of appliances here, most of which could use a good cleaning. OYou can exit to the west. OThe edge of this knife looks keen enough to shave with. Better be careful. OThis is a SANYO fridge with several tacky bird-magnets on the door. They Odon't seem to have any purpose since they're not holding anything up. OPossibly there is something more interesting inside, though it seems unlikely. OThis stuff looks truly revolting. I wouldn't eat it if you paid me! OThis is a large stairwell with steps leading up and down. OThere is a hallway to the west. OThe hallway is dimly lit, but you can make out a stairwell to the east. OThere is an open doorway to the north. OThis is a pleasant room, carpeted with oriental rugs and comfortably Ofurnished. Sun streams in the curtained windows, and although there is Omusic coming from the stereo, no one seems to be at home. There are Odoorways to the east, west and south. OYou are in a large, marble bathroom with antique fixtures. You can tell that Othis place has seen better days. The sink leaks constantly. OThe door is to the west. OThe glass has a Harvard University shield etched into its surface. OIt is empty. OThe glass has a Harvard University shield etched into its surface. OIt is full of water. OThis is the bedroom. There are many bookshelves crammed with assorted junk. OA window on the north wall seems permanently sealed, but there is an open Odoor to the east. OThis is a dried-up flower. You wonder what it might have looked like if Othe plant had been better cared for. OThe begonia is green and healthy. It has a profusion of colorful blossoms. OThis is a beautiful flower. Smells good, too. OThis is the lobby of Apley Court. There is a large stairway leading up, Oa smaller one leading down, and a locked door to the south. OThis is a dank, creepy basement. There is a stairway leading up and a Oforeboding opening to the south. OWaiter, there's a bug in my soup! OYou are in a maze of steam tunnels. OYou are in a maze of steam tunnels. OYou are in a maze of steam tunnels. OYou are in a maze of steam tunnels. OYou are at a dead end in a maze of steam tunnels. This is obviously the den Oof some huge animal. The stench is awful, and it is much too quiet here. OHave you examined the brass key? OThe skeleton is all that remains of some poor adventurer who wandered into Othe tunnels before you. The bones are gnawed clean, and many of them are Odamaged beyond recognition. There is something locked in the skeleton's hand. O OYou hear a low, sliding sound off in the darkness! OThis seems to be a treasure map of some kind! OThis must have been the silverfish's nest! It is matted together with hair, Ostring, old socks, paper, and whatever else the loathsome bug could scrounge Otogether. There are also large rat tracks everywhere. This is not a safe Oplace! OThis is a dark, eerie basement. There is a closed door to the north and a Oforbidding opening to the south. OThis is an elevator door. There is a button beside it. OYou are in a small elevator. On the wall are buttons numbered 1 to 4. OYou are in Harvard Yard. There are students everywhere, most of them in Oa tremendous hurry. The entrance to Lehman Hall is to the north, Widener OLibrary is off to the west, and there is an iron gate to the northwest. OTo the south you can see the statue of John Harvard, playing host to several Opigeons. OThe woman obviously resents your attention. OThe gate is locked, but you can see a small garden beyond the bars. OThe gate is open. There is a small garden inside. OThis is a small, enclosed garden. There are two curved stone benches here Oand a broken sundial. The exit is southeast. OThe sundial is old and weathered and, as usual, is numbered from 1 to 12. OThe gnomon is broken but looks as if you could turn it to any number. OYou are in the lobby of Lehman Hall. There are exits to the north, south, and Owest, and there is an elevator button against the east wall. OYou are in a large, busy dining hall. The tables are full of people eating Oand talking. No one seems to notice you, so you explore the room carefully. OThere are exits to the east, west, and south. OThe statue depicts a tall man (grown more than slightly bald) in an Oembarrassingly noble pose. It would look more appropriate on the windswept Oprow of a ship. There is something written on the base. O O DELMAR LEIGHTON O Master of Dudley House O 1958-1963 O O "My aim is to touch and be touched by all." O OYou are in a small grill area, crammed with people buying food. It is Odifficult even to move in such tight quarters. OThe door is to the west (if you can get to it). OThis is a small, private dining room. There are several tables of students Ohere, talking and eating. OYou can leave through doors to the south and east. OThis is a cozy, comfortable room, with overstuffed furniture and a large Ofireplace on the west wall. Hanging on the other walls are several portraits Oof old and venerable pillars of the community. OThere are exits to the north and east. OYou are on the mezzanine. From here you can look down on the dining hall Oto the north, where you see a security guard making his rounds. OThere is an elevator button on the east wall and an open door to the west. OOne picture in particular catches your eye. It shows an overlapping mosaic Oof brightly colored rectangles floating over a pit of leaping flames. It is Otitled "Lulu's Back in Town", and you pause a moment in quiet contemplation Oof the deeper mysteries of life. OYou are in a spacious, sunny area filled with plants and clustered with chairs Oand tables. Here and there, people are reading or napping in the sun. There Ois an exit to the east. OThis is a Charles Berry piano! You remember the long hours you spent as a Ochild, practicing on just such an instrument in the hopes that maybe someday Oyour name would be in lights. You stretch your fingers in anticipation. OYou are on the top floor of Lehman Hall. OThere are doors to the east and west, and an elevator button against the Osouth wall. OSshhh!! You are in the library. There are books and magazines everywhere. OThere are several students here, reading and studying, and one student (who Olooks a bit like you) is playing some sort of a Harvard adventure game on the Olibrary computer. OSorry, I assumed you had been in a library before! Here's how it works: O OWith the proper ID, you can BORROW books or RENEW them or EXCHANGE them. OIf the librarian still seems quirky, SHOW him your borrowed book. OThis is a sleek new Trailing Edge Multiphase Plus computer, with all the bells Oand whistles that modern science can provide. It must have cost WAY too much! OThere is an ON/OFF switch on the side. OYou try to turn the switch, but the student slaps your hand away and says, O"Hey! Get your own computer! I'm busy on this one." OThe book is "The History of Boston Harbor" by George Bush. All the pages are Ostuck together. OThe book is "The History of Boston Harbor" by George Bush. All the pages are Ostuck together. OThe title of the book is "The Hedge Hunter's Guide". You flip through it and Opause to read a few passages. OA curious passage catches your eye: O O"...is a fearful place. In order to progress without danger, you must WHISTLE Oevery 5 minutes to frighten away the vampire bats, and STOMP every 7 minutes Oto keep the wild ram at bay." O OThe book is "The History of Boston Harbor" by George Bush. All the pages are Ostuck together. The book is due in 2 weeks. OThe book is "The History of Boston Harbor" by George Bush. All the pages are Ostuck together. The book is due in 2 weeks. OThe title of the book is "The Hedge Hunter's Guide". It is due in 2 weeks. OYou flip through it and pause to read a few passages. OA curious passage catches your eye: O O"...is a fearful place. In order to progress without danger, you must WHISTLE Oevery 5 minutes to frighten away the vampire bats, and STOMP every 7 minutes Oto keep the wild ram at bay." O OThis is the lounge. There are several students sitting here, waiting to see Othe Senior Tutor. O There are large doors to the north, east, west, southwest, and southeast. ONo great riddle here. A locked door requires a key. OThe door is locked. OThe door is open. OYou are in the game room. There are a few people here, watching TV and Orelaxing. You can exit to the east. OThe librarian stares back at you. I don't think he likes you. OThis is a large bathroom with a single exit to the southeast. OThis is one of those machines which dispenses conundrums. You must have seen Othem! There is a coin slot on the side. OThis is one of those flexible conundrums that you get from a dispenser. OThey make life SO much more interesting. Something is written on it. OYou are in the Master's office. The room is spacious and cheerful, with Onumerous plants and a nice view of the yard. Out the window you can see Oa woman in black flapping a small piece of newspaper at anyone who comes Onear her. You can exit to the northeast. OThe desk is one massive slab of oak and has numerous papers and files piled Oon top. You glance briefly through them but find nothing of interest. There Ois a drawer in the desk, however. OThe coin is a US nickel, dated 1946. It looks a bit worn. OThis room is a jumble of papers, files, and cardboard boxes. There are several Obottles of wine occupying a wire rack on the east wall, and numerous back Oissues of the Lampoon lay scattered about. On the desk are a phone, a lamp, Oand an inkwell. OThere is a door to the northwest. OThis is just a plain old bottle of ink. What did you expect? OThis is a busy office, clearly the hub of house activity -- papers piled Oeverywhere, phones ringing, people bustling in and out. The exit is south. OIt just so happens that this is National Secretary's Day. A small gift Omight be appropriate -- nothing gaudy, just a token of appreciation. OThis is a plain steel key. You have no idea what it might unlock. OYour present adds a little color to the room and fills it with a pleasant Oaroma, making it a nicer place to work. OThis is a small, bare chamber with a stairway leading up and a narrow opening Oto the north. There is a strange aroma coming from the opening. OThis is a roughly circular room with exits to the north, south, east and west. OThere are several old steam pipes and cracked conduits running through here, Oand the fumes from one of them make you slightly dizzy. OThere is an electrical outlet here. OThis is a dark, creepy basement. There is a stairway leading up and a narrow Oopening to the east. There is a strange aroma coming from the opening. OYou are in a long, dark corridor with a stairway at the end. There are doors Oall around you. Most of them are locked, but the door to the north is ajar. OThere is an exit to the east. OOh, no!! You have stumbled into a den of iniquity! You are surrounded by Oloud music and cheap beer. OThere's no help for you now! OThe pass is good for this month only. OYou are standing in a grassy lot, surrounded on three sides by a chain-link Ofence. Through the fence to the north you can see the Charles River and, Obeyond that, the red brick buildings of the Harvard Business School. OThere is an open door to the west. OSurely you're not going to let a little fence stop you. OYou are on the banks of the Charles River which flows by to the north. The Oriver continues on to the west, while off to the east you can see Harvard OSquare. Peabody Terrace lies behind a fence to your south. OYou are floating in the Charles River. The current is slow here, though the Owater is fairly clear. You can't touch bottom with your feet, but you can Oalmost see the riverbed. The bank is to the south. OLight from above streams down to the very bottom here. There is an amazing Oamount of water-logged debris on the riverbed, scattered among the weeds. O OA sickly-looking fish swims by and blinks at you. OThese are sandy tracks made by a low-swimming small-mouthed bass. OThis is a dark, creepy basement. There is a stairway leading up and a narrow Oopening to the west. There is a strange aroma coming from the opening. OThis is a spacious kitchen. Judging by the disarray, a sizable meal was Oprepared here recently. There is a stairway leading down and a door to the Oeast. OThere is a pot-luck dinner in progress, with 10 or 15 students eating and Ochatting. You see a sign through an open window which informs you that Oyou have wandered into the "CENTER FOR HIGH-ENERGY METAPHYSICS." OYou see a sign through an open window which informs you that you are in the O"CENTER FOR HIGH-ENERGY METAPHYSICS." Although the room is empty at the Omoment, there is a table piled high with the remains of a recent meal. OYou are standing in front of the statue of John Harvard. The pigeons fly off Oat your approach, but there are flocks of tourists everywhere. OThere are paths leading in many directions. Harvard Square is to the east, Oand University Hall lies to the west. OYou are in a bureaucratic maze. OThis is a plain iron key. You have no idea what it might unlock. OYou are in the main quad, in front of Widener Library. The library is closed, Obut late books can be returned through the slot in the front door. Off to the Oeast, you can see Lehman Hall, and University Hall is to the southeast. OYou are in the midst of a large number of students with calculators and Obloodshot eyes. They seem to be coming from a sprawling modern building to Othe south. There is an east/west path here. OYou are in the Science Center. Classes must be in session, since the normally Obusy corridors are fairly empty. To the south you can see a small cafe. OThere is a large door to the east and a wide stairway going down. OYou are in the GreenHouse Grill, a glassed-in area filled with plants and Otables. There are several people here, sitting and talking between classes. OThis is a DUDLEY HOUSE ID card in perfect condition. OIt bears this year's date. OThis is a crowded lecture hall. Sshhh! A class is in progress. There is a Otweedy professor at the lectern, explaining Hellenic warrior culture to a rapt Oaudience of large young men with no necks. OThis is a nothing, a naught, a null, a void, an absence. It is difficult to Olook directly at it. OThis room is filled with computer terminals, and with bleary-eyed students Odiscovering the joys of unspecified object modules. OThe MacAPPLE is permanently on. There is a port on the side where you can Oplug in a MacMouse. OThere is a large, gothic building to your south, with a constant stream of Opeople passing in and out. A huge, modern building is off to your east. OYou are in Memorial Hall. The stained-glass windows and crumbling statuary Olend a medieval atmosphere to this building. In fact, a scene of ancient Otorture is unfolding in front of you: a LONG line of students (study cards in Ohand) is waiting to see the registrar. OGuess you'd better get in line. OYou are in the Law School quad. There are lawyers EVERYwhere!! OThis is an appointment slip for a meeting with the senior tutor. It bears Otoday's date. OYou are in the middle of Harvard Square, surrounded by crowds of people. OHarvard Yard lies to your west, and there is a subway entrance leading down. OThis is a crowded subway platform. There are hundreds of people here, milling Oabout waiting for the train, and listening to a street musician. OThe exit is up. OYou're so impatient! Just WAIT a few minutes. OYou are on the Red Line, crammed in like a sardine. OThis is a crowded subway platform. There is a crowd listening to a street Opreacher as he laments the sinful ways of the flesh. OThe exit is up. OYou're so impatient! Just WAIT a few minutes. OThis is Kendall Square. The mean streets of Cambridge are all around you. OThe subway platform is down. OYou are in the mean streets. Just keep walking. OYou heard the man. NOTHING can save you now! OThis is the main building at M.I.T. Above you, the sun streams through the Odomed roof, while hallways stretch off in many directions. The exit is east. OThis is a deserted laboratory. The slate counters are crowded with diodes, Ocircuit boards, silicon chips, and solder. There is the strong scent of Oburnt insulation in the air. There is a button on the wall. OYou are standing on a quiet residential street. A nearby sign tells you that Othis is Garden Street, which seems appropriate since you can see a small patch Oof corn off to your north. The Harvard Police Department is to your south, Obut a sign on the front door says 'CLOSED FOR REPAIRS.' OThis is a small patch of corn which someone has tended lovingly. There are Ono houses adjacent, so the gardener has taken the obvious precaution against Omarauding birds: OYou are standing on a busy residential corner. The traffic roars by, creating Oan impassible barrier to your north, and you are blocked in on the south and Owest by heavy construction equipment. The building to your east is under Orenovation, and several workmen are hurrying in and out with lumber, plaster, Ocarpeting, and paint. OThis room is in total disarray. The wiring hasn't been completed, the windows Oaren't fully installed, only two walls are plastered, and the carpeting is Ostill in rolls. OYou find yourself in a large Botanic Gardens. There is a profusion of plants Oand flowers here, and several paths lead off in northerly directions. OYou are in the midst of a large flower garden. There are paths winding through Othe various beds of roses and chrysanthemums, and you see several large bats Oswooping above a nearby hedge maze. OYou might be able to escape if you ENTER the maze! OYou are in a hedge maze. OYou are in a hedge maze. OYou are in a hedge maze. OYou are in a hedge maze. OYou are in a hedge maze. OYou are in a hedge maze. OYou are in a hedge maze. OYou are in a hedge maze. OYou are in a hedge maze. OYou are in a hedge maze. OYou are in a hedge maze. OYou are in a hedge maze. OYou are in a hedge maze. OYou are in a hedge maze. OYou are in a hedge maze. OYou are in a hedge maze. OThis is one of those multi-button rodents that plug into a MacAPPLE computer. OYou are in a hedge maze. OYou are in a hedge maze. OYou are in a hedge maze. OYou are in a hedge maze. OYou are in a hedge maze. OYou are in a hedge maze. OYou are in a hedge maze. OYou are in a hedge maze. OYou are in a hedge maze. OYou are in a hedge maze. OYou are in a hedge maze. OYou are in a hedge maze. OYou are in a hedge maze. OYou are in a hedge maze. OYou are in a hedge maze. OThis is a small scrap of fleece which the ram has obviously shed. OYou are in a hedge maze. OYou are in a hedge maze. OYou are in a hedge maze. OYou are in a hedge maze. OYou are in a hedge maze. You can exit here. OYou are in a large carpeted bedroom lined with bookshelves. There is a door Oto the east. OThis is the academic gown you rented earlier this week for your graduation. OYou are in a large, marble bathroom with antique fixtures. You can tell that Othis place has seen better days. The sink leaks constantly. OThe door is to the west. OYou are standing on stage, dressed in your cap and gown. OThis is what you came here for! There is something written on it. OThis accumulation of dust and hair has been here long enough to have gained a Orudimentary intelligence. It seems harmless enough, though it is a bit Odisconcerting to have it watch you so intently. OThe silverfish must be someone's experiment gone awry. It is the size of a Olarge doberman with fangs to match. It looks at you with distinct interest, Othe way you might view a nice medium-rare sirloin. I'd get out of here if I Owere you. OThis poor bird looks somewhat befuddled by its trip down the chimney. It is Ocovered with soot and seems pathetically glad to see you. It gazes at you Owith soft eyes and coos hungrily. Occasionally it delivers a mighty FLAP, Oscattering soot everywhere. OThe ghost is a terrible sight to behold. His head (grown slightly bald) rests Oon a platter which he carries in his left hand. He is wearing white flannel Otrousers, rolled at the bottom and plastered with seaweed. O OTwo pale women emerge from the fog. You call to them, but they are engaged Oin deep conversation and fail to notice you. You hear one of them say O"Michelangelo" before they fade into the distance. O OThis pathetic, withered begonia bears the unmistakable scars of chronic Ohunger and neglect. No wonder it seems hostile. OThe guard (whose nametag says "MIKE") is obviously protective of this place. OHe is VERY insistent that you produce a Dudley House ID card, and it seems Opretty clear that he won't leave you alone until you do. OThe woman notices you staring at her and immediately begins flapping a small Opiece of torn newspaper in your direction. When you continue to stare, she Oredoubles her efforts. I don't think she likes you. OThe alumnus is extremely irritable, and seems intent on sharing his mood Owith all those around him. He is arguing with Helen, the manager, about the Oplastic utensils, while the line has backed up nearly to the door. You can Oalmost hear what they are saying. OThis fellow looks like Conan the Librarian! His biceps are MUCH larger than Ohis I.Q., and you don't like the way he smacks his pool cue against his hand Owhile looking in your direction. OMrs J glances briefly at you, and then continues typing with one hand while Odialing the phone with the other. She seems busy. OMrs Handy is wearing a dictation headset and is typing away furiously. Her Odesk is in danger of disappearing under a mound of paperwork. OPaul returns your gaze. As co-Master of Dudley House, he prides himself on Oknowing most of his students, but it's clear from his expression that he Ocan't quite place you. OCynthia smiles at you, but she is clearly having trouble placing you as a Omember of the house. OThe tutors do their best to ignore your pointed stares, though you hear Omurmurs such as 'How rude' and 'Take a bath'. OJohn smiles at you, but you get the feeling that he can't quite remember your Oname. He waits for you to say something. OThis administrator looks pretty much like any other administrator. He is Oplaying with a large roll of red tape. OThe registrar scowls at you and snaps, "No loitering here! Get in line." OBasically nocturnal, this creature corners its unsuspecting victims in dim, Osmoke-filled areas and destroys their senses with ear-splitting noise and Oinane chatter. OThis poor guy is a mess! His clothes are rumpled almost as much as his hair, Oand he seems more intent on eating a sad-looking sandwich than in paying any Oattention to his surroundings. He looks like no one has spoken a word to him Oin years. OBrother Blue is an old-time story-teller. His flashing eyes and hypnotic Ogestures hold his listeners enthralled. Even now he has a small crowd Ogathered around him, hanging on his latest tale. You pause to listen. OThe skinhead blocks your way and smiles nastily. O"Well, well. Look what we got here," he sneers. When you tense up, he moves Ocloser. "No place to run, rabbit! Nothing can save you now." O OThis beast looks very irritable! He stares in your direction with distinct Oannoyance. OThe scarecrow has seen better days. It has clearly been in this garden for Omany months, keeping the birds at bay. Its clothes have been weathered by Osun and rain, and tufts of straw are sticking out of it everywhere. O OSuddenly, the scarecrow moves! It looks at you with sad button eyes and Osays hello. I have a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore! OThe scarecrow looks happier. The umbrella keeps the sun off his head and Oshould even provide some protection from the birds! But he is still in need Oof a long, cool drink of water! OThe scarecrow is in the pink! Shaded by the umbrella and refreshed by your Oglass of water, he looks ready to take on the world. OThe old Dean is a kindly looking soul, with long white hair and a befuddled Omanner. He peers at you myopically and appears to gather his thoughts. He Oobviously wants you to speak to him. OThe old Dean is a kindly looking soul, with long white hair and a befuddled Omanner. He peers at you myopically, but can't seem to remember what you Owere talking about earlier. OThe workman is wielding a hammer and is presently tacking down one end of a Olarge wall-to-wall carpet. He suddenly calls out to someone in the next room, O"Hey Manny! You got the brass tacks in there?" After a few seconds, a voice Oanswers, "Nope. None in here." O OThe workman notices you and says, "You don't look busy. See if you can round Oup some brass tacks for me, would you? I've gotta finish this carpeting today Oor the boss'll have my head." OThe workman has paused in his job of tacking down a large wall-to-wall carpet. OHe is waiting for some brass tacks. OPaul and Cynthia congratulate you and wish you all the best for the future. OSorry. University regulation 32-466a prohibits close examination of this item. OThe study card has been filled in completely except for a signature. OFace it... You are locked out of the Co-op! OThis is a grey and white tailfeather. Just looking at it reminds you of your Ofaithful feathered friend. OFear seems to have overcome the pigeon's shyness, at least temporarily. OThe stairway leads down. OThe study card is completely filled in. It has been signed by John Marquand. OThis is a grey and white tailfeather. Just looking at it reminds you of your Ofaithful feathered friend. There is an inkstain on the tip. OThe nose plug is made of sturdy neoprene, with special baffles which close Owhen submerged in water. OThe doohickey is too complicated for words, but it MUST be good for something. OThere is a radiation symbol embossed on the top of a large knob. OThe knob can be set from 1 to 4. OThe glass has a Harvard University shield etched into its surface. OIt is filled with Charles River water (yucck!). OThe corn is plump and fully matured. It is still tightly sheathed in its husk Oand topped with a tassel of corn silk. OThis is a tassel of corn silk, long and quite strong. OThis is a carpenter's plank piled high with plaster. OThese are sturdy brass tacks...just the thing for getting down to. OThis is your rented graduation cap. There is a small hook on top. OThis is your rented graduation cap. There is a yellow tassel attached. OParadox Prevention Room. OThis is a DUDLEY HOUSE ID card in perfect condition. OIt bears this year's date. OThis is a large (16 oz), undercooked lump of sirloin steak. You can't imagine Owhy the alumnus would give it to you. OYou can't quite decide whether this is a Computer Aided Design program, or Osimply an object with boorish instincts, but it is certainly one of the OSTURDIEST cads you've ever seen! END OF FILESCR you've ever seen!