Contents of the HAMVGA.DOC file
New, from Trygve Lode, the person who brought you "Lettuce Whiz,"
the most convenient green food topping ever to come in an aerosol can;
"Sweet Nothings" all cotton-candy swimwear; and "Burger Kling," the only
spray-on treatment for all-beef patties that makes them really stick to
the ribs or any other porous or non-porous surface; it's
HAMVGA, the final frontier!
Yes, HAMVGA, the program that lets you--yes, you--display Amiga
HAM format pictures on an IBM VGA or MCGA screen with a minimum of muss,
fuss, mess, and mental anguish. It's easy to use--all you have to do is
type in "hamvga" followed by the name of the ham format picture you want
to display and within moments, the HAM picture will be displayed on your
very own VGA or MCGA screen. (Don't forget, the secret default file
extension is ".HAM".)
It is possible that hamvga might not be able to decode a valid
HAM file (although I haven't found one yet); if this happens it will
issue the error message "I can't do it!" and return to dos. But,
that's just to make you want to see "HAMVGA 1.1, The Sequel."
(Coming soon to a bulletin board near you.)
What the critics had to say about HAMVGA:
"I loved it. It was fast-paced, well directed, and kept my attention so
well that the woman next to me ate my popcorn and I didn't even notice."
"A real winner. The scenery was colorful and the background music
sustained the mood without being intrusive--it was like 'The Sound of
Music' on roller skates."
"You're a drooling idiot, Gene--there wasn't any background music.
Besides, I didn't think the position shown in Sarah7.ham is physically
possible for anyone with a spine."
"I had trouble using it since I couldn't see the keyboard. Hey, Roger,
can I get a copy of Sarah7.ham from you?"
And, if you rush out right now and copy it onto a 3-1/2" disk, it'll
even make Julienne Fries!
If you enjoy HAMVGA, feel free (even encouraged) to send
me some of your favorite picture files (HAM, IFF, GIF, and
MAC are all appreciated). I can read 360K, 1.2M, 720K,
and 1.44M formats, so send whatever is most convenient for
you. My address is
3270 Cherryridge Road
Englewood, CO 80110