Category : BBS Programs+Doors
Archive   : MURPHY1A.ZIP
Filename : MURPHY.DAT

Murphy's Law: %If anything can go wrong.... it will! Murphy's Law (Corollary #1) Nothing is as easy as it looks! Murphy's Law (Corollary #2) 'Everything takes longer than you think. Murphy's Law (Corollary #3) 8If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, Dthe one that will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong. Murphy's Law (Corollary #4) FIf you perceive that there are four possible ways in which a procedure Jcan go wrong, and circumvent these, then a fifth way will promptly appear. Murphy's Law (Corollary #5) Left to themselves, 'things tend to go from bad to worse.... Murphy's Law (Corollary #6) !When you set out to do something, *something else must then be done first.... Murphy's Law (Corollary #7) 6Every solution to a problem only creates new problems. Murphy's Law (Corollary #8) 0It is impossible to make anything fool-proof.... *because fools are so incredibly ingenious. Murphy's Law (Corollary #9) &Nature ALWAYS sides with hidden flaws. Murphy's Philosophy: (Smile.... tomorrow will be much worse. Murphy's Law Quantimized: +Everything goes wrong all at the same time. #Zymurgy's Corollary to Murphy's Law When it rains.... it pours! Boling's Postulate $If you're feeling good, don't worry. You'll get over it. Iles's Law: 'There is always an easier way to do it! Iles's Law (Corollary #1) 7When looking directly at an easier way to do something, 9especially for long periods of time, you will not see it. Chisholm's Second Law: ?When things are going well, something will inevitably go wrong. 5Corollary #1: When things can't get worse, they will. @Corollary #2: Anytime things appear to be going better, you have # overlooked something. Murphy's Universal Constant: 9Matter will be damaged in direct proportion to its value. "Hill's Commentary on Murphy's Law: E1. If we lose much by having things go wrong, take all possible care. /2. If we have nothing to lose by change, relax. 23. If we have everything to gain by change, relax. ,4. If it doesn't matter, it does not matter. Chisholm's Third Law: BAnytime you propose something, and do understand what you propose, /your proposal will not be understood by others. #Chisholm's Third Law (Corollary #1) AIf you explain SO clearly that nobody can possibly misunderstand, !then somebody will misunderstand. #Chisholm's Third Law (Corollary #2) AIf you do something which you are sure will meet with everybody's &approval, then somebody won't like it. Scott's First Law: 7No matter what goes wrong, it will probably look right! Scott's Second Law: 3When an error has been detected and then corrected, 9it will be found to have been correct in the first place. Finagle's First Law: 1If an experiment works, something has gone wrong. Finagle's Second Law: CNo matter what the anticipated result, there will always be someone eager to: a) Misinterpret it,  b) Fake it, 3 c) believe it happened to his own theory. Finagle's Third Law: =In any collection of data, the figure most obviously correct, 5beyond any doubt or need of checking, is the mistake. "Finagle's Third Law (Corollary #1) DIn any collection of data - the most obviously correct figure is the mistake. ECorollary #1: Everyone who stops in with unasked for advice will see ' the mistake immediately! Fiangle's Fourth Law: DOnce something is fouled up.... anything done to correct the problem will only make it worse. Wingo's Axiom: @All Murphy's Laws may be by-passed by learning the simple art of doing without thinking. Gumperson's Law: %The probability of anything happening (is in inverse ratio to its desirability. 'Issawi's Law of the Course of Progress: Most things get steadily worse. %Issawi's Law of the Path of Progress: 6A shortcut is the longest distance between two points. Sodd's First Law: JWhen a person attempts a task, he or she will be thwarted in that task by Kthe unconscious intervention of some other presence (animate or inanimate). INevertheless, some tasks are completed, since the intervening presence is ?itself attempting a task and is, then, subject to interference. Sodd's Second Law: KSooner or later, the worst possible set of circumstances is bound to occur. JCorollary: Any system must be designed to withstand the worst possible set  of circumstances. Simon's Law: 5Everything put together falls apart, sooner or later. Rudin's Law: BIn a crisis that forces people to choose among several alternative Fcourses of action, most people will choose the worse course of action. Ginsberg's Theorem:  1. You can't win.  2. You can't break even. % 3. You can't even quit the game. +Freeman's Commentary on Ginsberg's Theorem: :1. Capitalism is based on the assumption that you can win. @2. Socialism is based on the assumption that you can break even. C3. Mysticism is based on the assumption that you can quit the game. Ehrman's Commentary: 5 1. Things will get worse before they get better. ) 2. Who said things would get better? Murphy's Law of Thermodynamics: Things get worse under pressure. The Universal Constant: 0If you catch an event in the act of occuring.... it is a common event. Gillis' Second Law: +If an event occurs, and you observe it..... =then the event occurs frequently... don't make the mistake of 0thinking you were lucky to observe a rare event. !Commoner's Second Law of Ecology: Nothing EVER just goes away!
Pudder's Law: &Anything that begins well, ends badly. 'Anything that begins badly, ends worse. Stockmayer's Theorem: If it looks easy, it's tough. *If it looks tough, it's almost impossible. Howe's Law: )Everybody has an idea that will not work. 1Zymurgy's First Law of Evolving Systems Dynamics: bought it, you'll find it's being sold cheaper somewhere else. Laws of Gardening: <1. Other people's tools work only in other people's gardens. 2. Fancy gizmos don't work. '3. If nobody uses it, there's a reason. /4. You get the most of what you need the least. First Law of Bicycling: $No matter which way you ride........ (it's always uphill and against the wind. Etorre's Observation: #The other line always moves faster. Boob's Law: 2You always find something the last place you look. Laws of Applied Confusion
Corollary #2: FTrucks that normally take one day to deliver will take five if you are waiting for the truck. The Snafu Equations: C1. Given any problem containing 'n' equations, there will always be  n+1 unknowns. K2. An object or bit of information most needed will be the least available. 3. Badness comes in waves. Laws of Computer Programming: *1. Any program, when running, is obsolete. +2. Any program costs more and takes longer. 43. Any program will expand to fill available memory. #Gilb's Second Law of Unreliability: Lowery's Law: If it jams - force it. )If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway. Anthony's Law of Force: $Don't force it; get a bigger hammer.
Cooper's Law: All machines are amplifiers....
Cahn's Axiom: +When all else fails, read the instructions. Schmidt's Law: *If you mess with something long enough.... it will break. Maier's Law: *If the facts do not conform to the theory, they must be disposed of. Williams and Holland's Law: If enough data is collected, .anything may be proven by statistical methods. Young's Law: *All great discoveries are made by mistake. 8Corollary: The greater the funding, the longer it takes to make the mistake. Mr. Cooper's Law: KIf you do not understand a particular word in a piece of technical writing, 9ignore it. The piece will make perfect sense without it. Futility Factor: *No experiment is ever a complete failure - *it can always serve as a negative example. Meskimen's Law: ,There's never time to do something right.... &but there's always time to do it over.
Heller's Law: /The first myth of management is that it exists. The Peter Principle: ?In a hierarchy every employee tends to rise to his or her level of incompetence. "The Peter Principle (Corollary #1) ?In time, every post in an organization or hierarchy tends to be Coccupied by an employee who is incompetent to carry out its duties. "The Peter Principle (Corollary #2) AWork is accomplished by those employees who have not yet reached /their level of incompetence within a hierarchy. Peter's Prognosis: /Spend sufficient time in confirming the need... and the need will disappear. Peter's Placebo: 2An ounce of image is worth a pound of performance.
Imhoff's Law: EThe organization of any bureaucracy is very much like a septic tank - -the really big chunks always rise to the top. !Zymurgy's Law of Volunteer Labor: 9People are always available for work - in the past tense. The Army Axiom: ;Any order that can be misunderstood has been misunderstood. Jone's Law: 5The man or woman who can smile when things go wrong - 1has thought of someone he or she can blame it on. Putt's Law: /Technology is dominated by two types of people: -Those who understand what they do not manage. -Those who manage what they do not understand. Haldane's Law: 9The universe is not only stranger than we can imagine.... #it is stranger than we CAN imagine. "Newton's Little-Known Seventh Law: .A bird in the hand is safer than one overhead. Persig's Postulate: 2The number of rational hypotheses that can explain !any given phenomenon is infinite. )Issawi's Law of the Conservation of Evil: 8The total amount of evil in any system remains constant. ?Hence, any reduction in one direction, for example, a reduction :in poverty or unemployment - is accompanied by an increase *in another, e.g., crime or air pollution.
Cole's Axiom: )The sum of the intelligence on the planet )is a constant; the population is growing. Beifeld's Principle: IThe probability of a young man or woman meeting a desirable and receptive Iperson of the opposite sex increases by pryramidal progression when he or Fshe is in the company of: 1) a date, 2) his or her spouse, 3) a better looking and richer friend. Pardo's First Postulate: ?Anything good in life is either illegal, immoral, or fattening.
Weiler's Law: (Nothing is impossible for the person who can get someone else to do it. %The Golden Rule of Arts and Sciences: (Whoever has the gold... makes the rules. Crane's Law: &There's no such thing as a free lunch. Ninety-Ninety Rule of Schedules: CThe first ninety percent of the task takes ten percent of the time, 8and the last ten percent takes the other ninety percent. John's Collateral Corollary: In order to get a loan.... 'you must first prove you don't need it.