Output of file : MURPHY.DAT contained in archive : MURPHY1A.ZIP

Murphy's Law: %If anything can go wrong.... it will! Murphy's Law (Corollary #1) Nothing is as easy as it looks! Murphy's Law (Corollary #2) 'Everything takes longer than you think. Murphy's Law (Corollary #3) 8If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, Dthe one that will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong. Murphy's Law (Corollary #4) FIf you perceive that there are four possible ways in which a procedure Jcan go wrong, and circumvent these, then a fifth way will promptly appear. Murphy's Law (Corollary #5) Left to themselves, 'things tend to go from bad to worse.... Murphy's Law (Corollary #6) !When you set out to do something, *something else must then be done first.... Murphy's Law (Corollary #7) 6Every solution to a problem only creates new problems. Murphy's Law (Corollary #8) 0It is impossible to make anything fool-proof.... *because fools are so incredibly ingenious. Murphy's Law (Corollary #9) &Nature ALWAYS sides with hidden flaws. Murphy's Philosophy: (Smile.... tomorrow will be much worse. Murphy's Law Quantimized: +Everything goes wrong all at the same time. #Zymurgy's Corollary to Murphy's Law When it rains.... it pours! Boling's Postulate \$If you're feeling good, don't worry. You'll get over it. Iles's Law: 'There is always an easier way to do it! Iles's Law (Corollary #1) 7When looking directly at an easier way to do something, 9especially for long periods of time, you will not see it. Chisholm's Second Law: ?When things are going well, something will inevitably go wrong. 5Corollary #1: When things can't get worse, they will. @Corollary #2: Anytime things appear to be going better, you have # overlooked something. Murphy's Universal Constant: 9Matter will be damaged in direct proportion to its value. "Hill's Commentary on Murphy's Law: E1. If we lose much by having things go wrong, take all possible care. /2. If we have nothing to lose by change, relax. 23. If we have everything to gain by change, relax. ,4. If it doesn't matter, it does not matter. Chisholm's Third Law: BAnytime you propose something, and do understand what you propose, /your proposal will not be understood by others. #Chisholm's Third Law (Corollary #1) AIf you explain SO clearly that nobody can possibly misunderstand, !then somebody will misunderstand. #Chisholm's Third Law (Corollary #2) AIf you do something which you are sure will meet with everybody's &approval, then somebody won't like it. Scott's First Law: 7No matter what goes wrong, it will probably look right! Scott's Second Law: 3When an error has been detected and then corrected, 9it will be found to have been correct in the first place. Finagle's First Law: 1If an experiment works, something has gone wrong. Finagle's Second Law: CNo matter what the anticipated result, there will always be someone eager to: a) Misinterpret it,  b) Fake it, 3 c) believe it happened to his own theory. Finagle's Third Law: =In any collection of data, the figure most obviously correct, 5beyond any doubt or need of checking, is the mistake. "Finagle's Third Law (Corollary #1) DIn any collection of data - the most obviously correct figure is the mistake. ECorollary #1: Everyone who stops in with unasked for advice will see ' the mistake immediately! Fiangle's Fourth Law: DOnce something is fouled up.... anything done to correct the problem will only make it worse. Wingo's Axiom: @All Murphy's Laws may be by-passed by learning the simple art of doing without thinking. Gumperson's Law: %The probability of anything happening (is in inverse ratio to its desirability. 'Issawi's Law of the Course of Progress: Most things get steadily worse. %Issawi's Law of the Path of Progress: 6A shortcut is the longest distance between two points. Sodd's First Law: JWhen a person attempts a task, he or she will be thwarted in that task by Kthe unconscious intervention of some other presence (animate or inanimate). INevertheless, some tasks are completed, since the intervening presence is ?itself attempting a task and is, then, subject to interference. Sodd's Second Law: KSooner or later, the worst possible set of circumstances is bound to occur. JCorollary: Any system must be designed to withstand the worst possible set  of circumstances. Simon's Law: 5Everything put together falls apart, sooner or later. Rudin's Law: BIn a crisis that forces people to choose among several alternative Fcourses of action, most people will choose the worse course of action. Ginsberg's Theorem:  1. You can't win.  2. You can't break even. % 3. You can't even quit the game. +Freeman's Commentary on Ginsberg's Theorem: :1. Capitalism is based on the assumption that you can win. @2. Socialism is based on the assumption that you can break even. C3. Mysticism is based on the assumption that you can quit the game. Ehrman's Commentary: 5 1. Things will get worse before they get better. ) 2. Who said things would get better? Murphy's Law of Thermodynamics: Things get worse under pressure. The Universal Constant: 0If you catch an event in the act of occuring.... it is a common event. Gillis' Second Law: +If an event occurs, and you observe it..... =then the event occurs frequently... don't make the mistake of 0thinking you were lucky to observe a rare event. !Commoner's Second Law of Ecology: Nothing EVER just goes away!
Pudder's Law: &Anything that begins well, ends badly. 'Anything that begins badly, ends worse. Stockmayer's Theorem: If it looks easy, it's tough. *If it looks tough, it's almost impossible. Howe's Law: )Everybody has an idea that will not work. 1Zymurgy's First Law of Evolving Systems Dynamics: bought it, you'll find it's being sold cheaper somewhere else. Laws of Gardening: <1. Other people's tools work only in other people's gardens. 2. Fancy gizmos don't work. '3. If nobody uses it, there's a reason. /4. You get the most of what you need the least. First Law of Bicycling: \$No matter which way you ride........ (it's always uphill and against the wind. Etorre's Observation: #The other line always moves faster. Boob's Law: 2You always find something the last place you look. Laws of Applied Confusion
Corollary #2: FTrucks that normally take one day to deliver will take five if you are waiting for the truck. The Snafu Equations: C1. Given any problem containing 'n' equations, there will always be  n+1 unknowns. K2. An object or bit of information most needed will be the least available. 3. Badness comes in waves. Laws of Computer Programming: *1. Any program, when running, is obsolete. +2. Any program costs more and takes longer. 43. Any program will expand to fill available memory. #Gilb's Second Law of Unreliability: Lowery's Law: If it jams - force it. )If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway. Anthony's Law of Force: \$Don't force it; get a bigger hammer.
Cooper's Law: All machines are amplifiers....
Cahn's Axiom: +When all else fails, read the instructions. Schmidt's Law: *If you mess with something long enough.... it will break. Maier's Law: *If the facts do not conform to the theory, they must be disposed of. Williams and Holland's Law: If enough data is collected, .anything may be proven by statistical methods. Young's Law: *All great discoveries are made by mistake. 8Corollary: The greater the funding, the longer it takes to make the mistake. Mr. Cooper's Law: KIf you do not understand a particular word in a piece of technical writing, 9ignore it. The piece will make perfect sense without it. Futility Factor: *No experiment is ever a complete failure - *it can always serve as a negative example. Meskimen's Law: ,There's never time to do something right.... &but there's always time to do it over.
Heller's Law: /The first myth of management is that it exists. The Peter Principle: ?In a hierarchy every employee tends to rise to his or her level of incompetence. "The Peter Principle (Corollary #1) ?In time, every post in an organization or hierarchy tends to be Coccupied by an employee who is incompetent to carry out its duties. "The Peter Principle (Corollary #2) AWork is accomplished by those employees who have not yet reached /their level of incompetence within a hierarchy. Peter's Prognosis: /Spend sufficient time in confirming the need... and the need will disappear. Peter's Placebo: 2An ounce of image is worth a pound of performance.
Imhoff's Law: EThe organization of any bureaucracy is very much like a septic tank - -the really big chunks always rise to the top. !Zymurgy's Law of Volunteer Labor: 9People are always available for work - in the past tense. The Army Axiom: ;Any order that can be misunderstood has been misunderstood. Jone's Law: 5The man or woman who can smile when things go wrong - 1has thought of someone he or she can blame it on. Putt's Law: /Technology is dominated by two types of people: -Those who understand what they do not manage. -Those who manage what they do not understand. Haldane's Law: 9The universe is not only stranger than we can imagine.... #it is stranger than we CAN imagine. "Newton's Little-Known Seventh Law: .A bird in the hand is safer than one overhead. Persig's Postulate: 2The number of rational hypotheses that can explain !any given phenomenon is infinite. )Issawi's Law of the Conservation of Evil: 8The total amount of evil in any system remains constant. ?Hence, any reduction in one direction, for example, a reduction :in poverty or unemployment - is accompanied by an increase *in another, e.g., crime or air pollution.
Cole's Axiom: )The sum of the intelligence on the planet )is a constant; the population is growing. Beifeld's Principle: IThe probability of a young man or woman meeting a desirable and receptive Iperson of the opposite sex increases by pryramidal progression when he or Fshe is in the company of: 1) a date, 2) his or her spouse, 3) a better looking and richer friend. Pardo's First Postulate: ?Anything good in life is either illegal, immoral, or fattening.
Weiler's Law: (Nothing is impossible for the person who can get someone else to do it. %The Golden Rule of Arts and Sciences: (Whoever has the gold... makes the rules. Crane's Law: &There's no such thing as a free lunch. Ninety-Ninety Rule of Schedules: CThe first ninety percent of the task takes ten percent of the time, 8and the last ten percent takes the other ninety percent. John's Collateral Corollary: In order to get a loan.... 'you must first prove you don't need it.

### 3 Responses to “Category : BBS Programs+Doors Archive   : MURPHY1A.ZIPFilename : MURPHY.DAT”

1. Very nice! Thank you for this wonderful archive. I wonder why I found it only now. Long live the BBS file archives!

2. This is so awesome! 😀 I’d be cool if you could download an entire archive of this at once, though.

3. But one thing that puzzles me is the “mtswslnkmcjklsdlsbdmMICROSOFT” string. There is an article about it here. It is definitely worth a read: http://www.os2museum.com/wp/mtswslnk/